Core Breakthrough Coaching

08/09/2025

People try to control others in an attempt (not necessarily conscious) to avoid facing their own fear and shame. I’ve been sitting with control quite a bit lately so thought we might discuss here.⁠

Do you know someone controlling? Maybe it’s you. Maybe it was you. Maybe it’s a parent, a partner, a colleague, or a friend?⁠
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Notice who it is you’re thinking of as you read.⁠
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Instead of facing their fears or their shame, they find it more tolerable to exert power and control over another. This act creates the illusion that they are worthy and deserving of [insert outcome of control here] — maybe it’s being right, maybe it’s keeping you in their life, maybe it’s proving their point, maybe it’s having you submit to them in some way.⁠
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If someone needs to exert power over another it undoubtedly means that they feel powerless in themselves. All it does is create an illusion.⁠
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That illusion helps them avoid a belief that lies within: I am undeserving, I am unworthy, I am not good enough, I am powerless.⁠
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Control does not exist without shame and fear. It breeds off of it.⁠
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If this is you, might you turn safely towards your fears and shame? Might you begin to get to know them better so that they don’t rule your life? Ignoring, denying fears or avoiding them does not make anything go away...it intensifies it, even if you can’t see it.⁠
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If this is someone you know, how do you participate in this dance? Ooof this is a big one, friends. There isn’t room here to get into this part, but I’m curious what questions you have about being in a relationship with those who exhibit a need for control/power over you/others.⁠
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07/27/2025

07/17/2025

“Every time I think I am healed, another wound whispers beneath my skin, another memory rises like smoke from the ashes of old versions of me, but maybe healing is not a destination, maybe it is the brave act of walking through your own ruins and still planting flowers.”

✍️ R.M. Drake
🎨credit to the artist via Pinterest

07/10/2025

This

07/08/2025

Narcissistic Triangulation

Killing two birds with one stone — this is one of the narcissist’s favorite strategies when using triangulation. It’s subtle, manipulative, and highly effective at creating confusion, emotional chaos, and control, all while feeding their insatiable need for attention and power.

Narcissistic triangulation occurs when the narcissist brings a third party into your relationship dynamic—not physically, but emotionally and psychologically. This third person could be a co-worker, an old flame, a mutual friend, or even a stranger they met online. It doesn't matter who it is. What matters is what their presence triggers in you.

The narcissist will often make casual remarks like, "You know, Sarah from work keeps complimenting me lately," or "My ex texted me last night out of the blue... she still misses me." These statements are not random—they are calculated. Their purpose is to provoke emotional reactions in you. It’s not about honesty; it’s about control.

By introducing this third person into the equation, the narcissist is intentionally stirring feelings of jealousy, fear, competition, and insecurity within you. They want you to feel uneasy. They want you to doubt your worth. They want you to feel as though you’re in a silent competition for their attention. The message is clear, even if it’s never said out loud: “You can be replaced.”

And what happens when you feel replaceable? You start working harder. You become more attentive, more compliant, more desperate to please them and earn back their full attention. You start walking on eggshells, second-guessing yourself, and chasing their validation. And all the while, they sit back and enjoy the emotional storm they’ve created, basking in the power they hold over your sense of security.

But that’s only one part of the manipulation.

The second goal is even more self-indulgent: to boost their fragile ego and harvest narcissistic supply. By making it seem like others want them, they create the illusion of desirability. They want you to see them as a prize. They want you to believe others are lining up to take your place. That illusion alone can make you feel more attached, more anxious, and more controlled. It's a tactic designed to keep you off balance and emotionally dependent.

Triangulation also allows the narcissist to deflect responsibility. If you confront them about their behavior, they might accuse you of being insecure or jealous, flipping the script to make you feel like the problem. They may say things like, “I can’t control who likes me,” or “You’re being paranoid.” And suddenly, instead of holding them accountable, you’re defending your own emotional response to their games.

In the end, triangulation is psychological warfare. It's not just about stirring drama—it's about breaking your confidence, reshaping your behavior, and making you easier to control. It's about keeping you in a state of confusion and competition, so you never stop chasing their approval.

If you find yourself constantly feeling threatened by "third parties" in your relationship, constantly doubting your place, and always fighting for reassurance, it may not be about you being too sensitive. It might be that you’re being manipulated through narcissistic triangulation.

Recognizing it is the first step toward reclaiming your power. Because once you see the game, you no longer have to play it.

04/26/2025

Great idea!

03/11/2025

As spring unfolds, it's the perfect time for a holistic renewal. Our latest newsletter explores how to declutter both your physical space and emotional landscape, promoting clarity and growth. Discover practical tips for creating a nurturing environment that reflects your values. Together, let’s embrace the benefits of a fresh start and explore the emotional journey of letting go.

https://conta.cc/3F7TdBO=

02/19/2025

✨ Relationships don’t have to stay stuck in cycles of frustration, disappointment, or disconnect. With the NeuroSubconscious Relationship Method™, you can rebuild trust, rediscover intimacy, and create lasting change. 💙

Take the first step toward healing today! Schedule a FREE 30-minute consultation and start transforming your relationship. 💫