Julie Spears, LCSW

08/22/2023

Beautiful

08/03/2023

Brilliant!

07/25/2023

Stop everything and go see the Barbie movie!!! But don’t bring your kids. Why? Well, because it’s not for kids; it’s for US!

The movie is rated PG 13 but is probably the most mild PG 13 movie I’ve seen regarding s*x and violence—only some mild s*xual innuendos. Kids will likely have fun but they won’t GET it on your level and they may distract YOU from your experience.

This movie is a love letter to Boomers & Gen X (and some older millennials). We were raised on Barbie and her impossible beauty standards but many of us have worked hard to deconstruct those and raise Gen Z & Alpha without as many of those pressures.

This movie is about the struggle of raising a daughter and the heartbreaking push-pull of the teenage years. It’s about the incredibly hard thin line women are expected to walk and all of the roles we are expected to fill. It felt straight out of Fair Play and every book on women and feminism I’ve read in the past 20 years!

My 28 year old neice saw it and reached out to me telling me it made her think of all of the women in her life. I’m sure she was thinking of many Gen X’ers and older. I felt so seen!

Margo may be the star as the blond Barbie but America Ferrera is the Hero! That’s all I’ll give away.

So take your besties, take your wives, take your moms and even your husbands but maybe leave the kids at home during your first experience. Then go back again with them and discuss after. Boys too!

This movie helped me TAKE BACK my love of pink and reconcile my complicated feelings about Barbie.

What was your experience?

07/17/2023

YES! I love all 3 of these shows and actors!

Congrats to Ayo Edebiri (The Bear), Janelle James (Abbott Elementary), Sheryl Lee Ralph (Abbott Elementary) and Jessica Williams (Shrinking) on their EMMY noms for Supporting Actress In A Comedy Series.

07/17/2023

Not surprising but frustrating.

Emily Oster looks at data from a study on parental inequality in household labor, especially why schools call moms even when directed not to.

07/15/2023

A group for those experiencing Religious Hurt...

Starting Wednesday, August 2nd 5 PM Central/6 PM Eastern.

Virtual. 8 week commitment. $50 per group session charged weekly.

Group will skip week of August 21st
Religious Hurt as defined by the experience of disillusionment, confusion, self doubt/hatred and/or community shunning/disengagement that has caused personal and relational hurt and/or stunted developmental growth. Grief work over losing a community and sense of belonging due to misaligned behavior and/or changing religious beliefs. Often associated with a history of involvement in religious communities marked by fundamentalism. Related issues:s*xuality, purity culture.
Interested participants can email [email protected] for more info.

For participants in South Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Florida, and North Carolina

07/15/2023

Offering by a colleague

Two options for this group starting in August...one for everyone and one just for therapists.
August 3rd at 5 PM Central/6 PM Eastern is the next start date of the group for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents (book of same name is referenced and used). Flyer attached.

August 3rd at 1 PM Central/2 PM Eastern is the start date and time for the THERAPISTS ONLY group for Adult Children of Emotionally Immature parents.
Offered to participants in South Carolina, Texas, Tennessee, North Carolina and Florida.
8 week commitment, $50 per group session charged weekly.
Group will skip week of August 21st
Email [email protected] to register.
We learn "coping" skills as children in order to survive painful situations. Sometimes those painful situations include having parents who were not emotionally available. Unfortunately, those same skills you learned to survive as a child often become harmful to your wellbeing as an adult. You deserve to heal. You deserve to grow. You can choose to lean into spaces where you can develop a new way of relating to yourself, to others, and to your parents. Perhaps due to mental illness, physical illness, their own trauma, substance abuse, or other reasons your parent or parents could not..and cannot... be responsive to you emotionally. You are not too much. You are not too needy. Join us in a space where you will gain support, encouragement, and practical skills for how to change patterns in your life that are holding you back.

07/14/2023

Steven and I met at Radio Coffe to put the final touches on our Art Collage Class. We have 3 more spots available. Early bird pricing if you sign up today!

https://www.juliespearslcsw.com/challenges

07/07/2023

https://www.ted.com/talks/jia_jiang_what_i_learned_from_100_days_of_rejection?utm_source=sms&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=tedspread

Jia Jiang adventures boldly into a territory so many of us fear: rejection. By seeking out rejection for 100 days -- from asking a stranger to borrow $100 to requesting a "burger refill" at a restaurant -- Jiang desensitized himself to the pain and shame that rejection often brings and, in the proce...

06/30/2023

Today is the last day to get the Early Bird 🐦 discount! Register here https://www.juliespearslcsw.com/challenges

06/20/2023

Kids need love and acceptance. This is beautiful!!!!

Cuteness.

05/19/2023

Therapists ARE human, after all… enjoy this giggle

The Therapeutic Fart. When you think of a therapist, what image comes to mind? Likely it's some middle aged person sitting in an old chair and they are wearing an ugly sweater, glasses, and they occasionally mumble a response to your questions, correct?

05/14/2023

04/30/2023

04/22/2023

Ideas right here guys!

04/07/2023

This is beautiful

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=625951952729986&id=100059455603099&mibextid=qC1gEa

03/01/2023

https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/preparing-emotionally-for-retirement/

Retirement is a seismic life change that can impact mental health, with one study suggesting it increases the likelihood of depression.

02/22/2023

Incredible approach to domestic tasks when you are depressed.

When you're burned out, taking care of yourself (or your family) can feel nearly impossible. Therapist KC Davis gets it, and she's got a message for anyone s...

02/15/2023

Sending love.

02/15/2023

https://mailchi.mp/6962ce1dd538/bxrhh7wn9k-8840809?e=751866bdb1

Many people seem to either love or loathe Valentine's Day. It's a time to celebrate romantic love but also seems overly commercialized and forced. I thought I'd offer some different ways to think about and celebrate different types of love.

02/03/2023

Love this. Gender is a spectrum.

01/25/2023

January Newsletter

Open and click “subscribe “ for monthly newsletters.

Unfortunately, as many of us have experienced, resolutions typically don't work. Just because our calendar year starts fresh, it doesn't necessarily mean we are ready to make major changes in our lives. Oftentimes, resolutions revolve around behavioral changes, which are much easier said than done.....

01/22/2023

https://www.cnbc.com/2023/01/20/the-no-1-phrase-that-makes-relationships-successful-according-to-psychologists-who-studied-40000-couples.html?mibextid=Zxz2cZ

Psychologists and relationship experts John and Julie Gottman have studied more than 40,000 couples to identify the secrets to long-lasting marriages. Here's the No. 1 phrase that happy couples in successful relationships use every day.

12/25/2022

This is a difficult time of year for so many. Take care.

DEPRESSION TIPS:

Shower. Not a bath, a shower. Use water as hot or cold as you like. You don’t even need to wash. Just get in under the water and let it run over you for a while. Sit on the floor if you gotta.

Moisturize everything. Use whatever lotion you like.

Put on clean, comfortable clothes.

Drink cold water. Use ice. If you want, add some mint or lemon for an extra boost.

Clean something. Doesn’t have to be anything big. Organize one drawer of a desk. Wash five dirty dishes. Do a load of laundry. Scrub the bathroom sink.

Blast music. Listen to something upbeat and dancy and loud, something that’s got lots of energy. Sing to it, dance to it, even if you suck at both.

Make food. Don’t just grab a granola bar to munch. Take the time and make food. Even if it’s ramen. Add something special to it, like a soft boiled egg or some veggies. Prepare food, it tastes way better, and you’ll feel like you accomplished something.

Make something. Write a short story or a poem, draw a picture, color a picture, fold origami, crochet or knit, sculpt something out of clay, anything artistic. Even if you don’t think you’re good at it. Create.

Go outside. Take a walk. Sit in the grass. Look at the clouds. Smell flowers. Put your hands in the dirt and feel the soil against your skin.

Call someone. Call a loved one, a friend, a family member, call a chat service if you have no one else to call. Talk to a stranger on the street. Have a conversation and listen to someone’s voice. If you can’t bring yourself to call, text or email or whatever, just have some social interaction with another person. Even if you don’t say much, listen to them. It helps. (You can always call/text/message me!)

May seem small or silly to some, but this list keeps people alive.

* At your absolute best you won’t be good enough for the wrong people. But at your worst, you’ll still be worth it to the right ones. Remember that. Keep holding on.

* In case nobody has told you today I Love you and you are worth your weight and then some in gold, so be kind to yourself and most of all keep pushing on!!!!

***People don’t fake depression.. they fake being ok.

Find something to be grateful for!

US National Su***de Prevention Lifeline
Hours: Available 24 hours. Languages: English, Spanish.
800-273-8255 or 988

**copied and pasted....feel free to do the same... 💙💜💙💜💙

12/24/2022

Hey guys, don’t let this be your wife in the morning. Go shopping today! PS: robe is literally on my wish list!

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10159134413221303&id=10714086302&mibextid=qC1gEa

12/14/2022

Play + Unicorn Space Danger

12/02/2022

Very special opportunity available from my highly skilled and compassionate colleague Rebecca Kalomiris, LCSW

11/29/2022

Check out these 2 episodes on her podcast!

Welcome to Part 1 of my conversation with Bono, recorded live at the historic Paramount Theatre in Austin, Texas. I have been a fan since the very beginning, and this event, presented by Austin City Limits Music Festival (ACL)’s Bonus Tracks, was sheer magic.

Eighteen-year-old me—the girl with the asymmetric haircut, combat boots, and a Walkman that played U2’s “War” album from daylight to dusk every single day for a year—is wondering, How in the hell did I pull this off?

The answer is, I don’t know. What I do know is that we were mentally in sync, spiritually locked in, and we talked about everything from rock and roll and activism to faith and the power of paradox.

Bono’s new memoir, “Surrender: 40 Songs, One Story,” is the ultimate love story—to his wife, Ali; to his family and friends; to the band; and to all of us who’ve found both peace and provocation in the music.

http://bit.ly/3tBkDHa

11/28/2022

For the single ladies! ❤️

https://scoop.upworthy.com/illustrator-beautifully-captures-joy-of-being-a-woman-living-alone-561889?fbclid=IwAR3RzYOvJvHD9XhHRT9zuOitisPUdosjIzMC5Nkatt0CtKf-J8G0I6dIXJ8&mibextid=Zxz2cZ

'I like to show women who exist in solitude but do not suffer. They are not depressed or crying,' the artist explained.

11/19/2022

Bono and Brene!

Welcome to Part 1 of my conversation with Bono, recorded live at the historic Paramount Theatre in Austin, Texas. I have been a fan since the very beginning, and this event, presented by Austin City Limits Music Festival (ACL)’s Bonus Tracks, was sheer magic.

Eighteen-year-old me—the girl with the asymmetric haircut, combat boots, and a Walkman that played U2’s “War” album from daylight to dusk every single day for a year—is wondering, How in the hell did I pull this off?

The answer is, I don’t know. What I do know is that we were mentally in sync, spiritually locked in, and we talked about everything from rock and roll and activism to faith and the power of paradox.

Bono’s new memoir, “Surrender: 40 Songs, One Story,” is the ultimate love story—to his wife, Ali; to his family and friends; to the band; and to all of us who’ve found both peace and provocation in the music.

http://bit.ly/3tBkDHa

11/16/2022

Lol happy hump day! Hang in there everyone. Deep breaths. Humor helps.

This is one of those days! 😂🤭

11/16/2022

Saw this local offering thought I’d share. ❤️ 🐶 🐱

11/14/2022

❤️❤️❤️ great reminder!

11/02/2022

I'm holding an in-person couple's retreat at the peaceful and beautiful Still Waters Retreat Center. The retreat will be held in a cozy home with a beautiful outdoor space that includes a labyrinth and a nature trail. We will be learning about the Fair Play Program as we make space for couples to reconnect. More info at my website or reach out to me for questions or coupons!

Fair Play Method | Julie Spears, LCSW (juliespearslcsw.com)

10/27/2022

I often refer to this sketch when helping parents of college kids deal with the frustrations of kids coming home during holidays and not being very respectful. Sometimes comedy helps!!!

10/19/2022

Love to all teachers!!!

Way too funny! 😂🤣
📷 Mrs. Male's Masterpieces

10/19/2022

Please be mindful as you choose costumes this year. ❤️

Reminder.

10/16/2022

Take time to highlight others! Especially those in marginalized groups. ❤️❤️❤️

The 33-year-old physicist, who lives and works in London, has become somewhat of a phenomenon in her very personal crusade to encourage more women to pursue STEM-related fields.

10/07/2022

Dia de Mu***os, Day of the Dead, the beautiful honoring of our ancestors is nearing, and as I do every year, I am sharing my reflection on Mexican Dia de Mu***os.

Leading up to the days of remembrance and celebration, I will share some of my previous DDM posts to help followers of this page better understand and prepare for these holy days. You are invited to look at previous years’ DDM posts for information I might not share this year.

I share this reflection because observance of Dia de Mu***os which is held throughout Mexico, is being increasingly adopted by people of other ethnicities and backgrounds who lacking a ritual of their own, have found in our Dia de Mu***os a heart-home where they can honor their ancestors and other loved ones who have crossed over.

While we are happy to share our beautiful ritual, Dia de Mu***os must be treated with respect, reverence, lightness of spirit, and an understanding that Dia de Mu***os is not Halloween, but a remembering and sacred witnessing of the joys and sorrows of our ancestors, and a celebration of the strength of spirit of we, their descendants, to preserve the soul of this pre-European contact tradition.

As a result of the European/Spanish invasion, forced conversion to Christianity (Catholicism in particular), and ongoing colonization of what today is known as Mexico, Dia de Mu***os now takes place on November 1 and 2, having merged with the Catholic All Saints' Day and All Souls' Day.

Typically, November 1 is to honor children and infants, known as Día de los Angelitos (Day of the Little Angels). November 2nd honors adults and is known as Día de Mu***os.

Indigenous peoples in Mexico (and in other countries in what is now the Americas where Indigenous people’s traditional territory extends beyond contemporary borders, such as our Maya relatives) have been holding these celebrations for 3,000 years. In 2003 UNESCO proclaimed Mexico’s Dia de Mu***os Intangible Cultural Heritage of Humanity.

Before Mexico’s invasion by Spaniards, these holy days for the Mexika (Aztec) took place in the month that approximates today’s August/September. They were celebrated for an entire month: the first half of the month as Miccailhuitontli, the feast of deceased children, and the latter half as Huey Miccailhuitontli, or Feast to the Greatly Revered Deceased (adults). Some say the festivities were dedicated to Mictecacihuatl known as the "Lady of the Dead" and that she corresponds to the modern-day Catrina, today's iconic character created in 1910 by famous Mexican printmaker and illustrator José Guadalupe Posada. Although it is possible that Mictlancihuatl was his inspiration, no one really knows, and La Catrina has her own interesting story as a truth-teller and social justice warrior.

It's important to note that there are regional differences as to how it is celebrated and that how it is observed is influenced by a family's religion or tribe-specific history and customs. For example, Yaquis begin their culture-specific Animam Mikwame Taiwae, Dia de Mu***os, observances on October 1st.

In my circle of family, friends, and community, we prepare for weeks to properly host relatives who have walked on before us: our tatas, nanas, tias and tios and other relatives who will return to this realm to visit us during Dia de Mu***os. As you begin your own preparations, please source your Day of the Dead items from Mexican artists, bakers, and artisans. If you are responsible for putting together a Dia de Mu***os educational program or special event, please consult with and employ Mexican/ Indigenous people rather than someone who is not part of our culture and community -- and consider giving back to our community in tangible ways as a way of showing your appreciation for us sharing our culture, food, music, and spiritual traditions.

For many, Day of the Dead celebrations begins on October 31st, which is the night Mexicans remember deceased children, while the night from the 1st to the 2nd is dedicated to the adult dead. A pathway of brilliant marigold flowers will guide them to our home to enjoy some time with us, within whose hearts they yet live. They'll be knocking at midnight, looking at their photos on our altar, smelling the aroma of their favorite food, and cleansing themselves with the smoke of copal incense.

We build ofrendas (altars) to their memory at home and sometimes in public places. Some altares are simple and some are elaborate. Often we hold vigils at the cemetery taking our time to lovingly clean headstones, place candles and bouquets of cempaxochitl (Aztec marigolds) on graves; toys for children, delicious pan de mu**to, tamales, drinks, and incense burners filled with fragrant copal. It is not uncommon for us to take lawn chairs to the cemetery and sit for hours, sometimes all night, recounting favorite anecdotes and memories of special days gone by. We might hire a small Norteño or mariachi to play favorite songs that our beloveds enjoyed when alive. It's both a sad and joyful time as we pray, sing, laugh, and reminisce.

In the days leading up to Dia de Mu***os I will be posting photographs, videos, and articles on Mexican Dia de los Mu***os and hope that what is shared helps you celebrate the life of your loved ones while at the same time respectfully preserving and honoring this important tradition that is the religious and cultural legacy of the ancestors of Mexihca, Maya, Tlaxcaltec, Chichimec, and other Native peoples of what is today known as Mexico, as well as Indigenous traditional territories that today may overlap adjoining countries.

With respect, I ask that you please keep in mind that Mexican Dia de Mu***os is rooted in culture-specific spiritual/religous observances. I realize that there are other countries (e.g., Chinese and Celtic, among others) that observe what may appear, on the surface, to be a similar custom. Still, those observances do not have the same origin and unique expression as ours. Used out of that context, as in dressing up as La Catrina for a summer or winter solstice celebration or other non-Dia De Mu**to event, could be considered disrespectful, especially when done by someone who is not a member of the Mexican / Indigenous community. By this, I mean taking one or more elements of this cultural-spiritual ritual and using them in a different context than for which it was intended.

When changes are made arbitrarily to a tradition, or worse, it is misappropriated, those changes begin to erode its power and its beauty. The same power and beauty that first drew you to it. Help protect this sacred observance.

As neither forthcoming posts nor this one are meant to be scholarly articles, please understand that not every detail or aspect of Dia de Mu***os is addressed. I encourage you to empower yourself by researching your family stories and delving more deeply into the origins and history of Dia de Mu***os.

Con respeto y aprecio,
Maestra Grace Sesma
Curanderismo, the Healing Art of Mexico

Artist: Rick Ortega, https://rickortegaart.com

***os ***os