Sexual Health Alliance

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Sexual Health Alliance

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The Sexual Health Alliance (SHA) offers sex therapy training, counseling certification, and AASECT-approved education led by top experts in an engaged, diverse, and inclusive community across 6 continents

QUIZ: bit.ly/4l1ZgYU
NEWSLETTER: bit.ly/SHASignUp The Sexual Health Alliance (SHA) promotes an integrated, interdisciplinary approach to sexuality with the goal of fostering cooperation and dialogue among diverse professionals. Throughout the year, SHA facilitates communication among sexual health providers through our signature lecture series, roundtable forums, and educational workshops.

11/21/2025

STACK DATING: Efficient or Exhausting?

Stack dating, scheduling multiple first dates in one day , is trending fast, especially with Gen Z folding dating into their real lives. Research shows that 50% want dating to fit their routines, 32% have gone on dates during the workday, and TikTok has normalized “efficiency dating.” Coffee at noon, drinks at five, maybe another after the gym: dating optimized like a calendar.

The appeal makes sense: stacking lowers emotional pressure, reduces premature attachment, and keeps you grounded. You’re not putting all your hopes on one person, which makes red flags easier to notice and helps you maintain perspective. Seeing different people back-to-back creates a “contrast effect”, which feels calming, sparks curiosity, and drains you. It’s clarity through comparison and a confidence boost, almost like getting communication reps in a low-stakes environment.

But the downside is real. Short dates mean shallow connections, and stacking can keep vulnerability optional. You risk rejecting great people too fast, forgetting important details, or treating dating like work instead of a connection. And burnout is common. When dating feels like back-to-back meetings, you lose emotional bandwidth and the spark.

The real question experts ask is: are you exploring… or avoiding? Stack dating can help you understand compatibility, chemistry, and your long-term needs, but it can also protect you from deeper intimacy if you’re using it as a buffer. Mindful stacking means intentional first dates, being upfront about timing, limiting yourself to just a few people, and pausing the moment dating starts feeling like a second job.

Curious which SHA certification fits your goals? Take our 30-second quiz to get started: https://bit.ly/4l1ZgYU

11/20/2025

Millennial Dating Is Full of S/xy Moves... So Why Does Nothing Happen?

Modern dating looks bold on the surface: flirty texts, voice notes, late-night photo exchanges, even underwear-under-the-table moments. And yet so many millennial dates end with absolutely nothing happening. The Guardian’s latest dating feature calls it the “confusion loop”: the overlap where “I can’t figure out what they’re thinking” meets “I’m not sure if I’m into it.” Put simply, high online escalation, zero offline follow-through.

Millennials aren’t lacking desire. They’re stuck in ambiguity, dating fatigue, mixed signals, emotional unpredictability, fear of misreading the vibe, and fear of rejection. So people try to “pre-signal” interest before meeting. But these signals are intentionally vague. Ambiguity feels safer, but it kills connection. A cheese-sandwich photo or a nervous voice note might feel intimate, but it creates no real relational momentum.

The result is what the article calls “almost intimacy”: constant communication, s/xy tension, inside jokes, aesthetic exchanges... with none of it translating into real-life chemistry. Gen X had one advantage: boldness. Meet someone, stare a second too long, flirt, take the shot. Modern dating is more curated, more cautious, more performative, and often more nothing.

The truth? Real intimacy doesn’t survive in confusion. It requires clarity, confidence, communication, and the emotional skills that help people move from digital escalation to real connection. Without that, millennial dating stays stuck in vibes instead of vulnerability.

Want to help people build healthier, more connected relationships? Take our 30-second quiz to find the right SHA Certification: https://bit.ly/4l1ZgYU

11/20/2025

The WHO reminds us that s/xual health is far more than the absence of dysfunction. It’s a full state of physical, emotional, mental, and social well-being that are shaped by biology, psychology, and the world we grow up in.

Your body and medical history. Your emotions, beliefs, and cognitive patterns. Your culture, identity, and relationships. All three interact to shape how we understand pleasure, connection, identity, and desire.

This is why s/xuality education must expand beyond anatomy, and why the field needs trained, nuanced professionals. Want to understand this work at a deeper, expert level? Take our short quiz to get started: https://bit.ly/4l1ZgYU

11/19/2025

Not a fan of sleep divorce? Then this method is for you!

Modern couples love sharing a bed… until the snoring, blanket-stealing, overheating, and nonstop tossing start building into silent resentment. That’s the tiny-friction-to-big-resentment pipeline many relationship experts now call a “sleep divorce.” The Scandinavian Sleep Method offers a gentler alternative: one shared bed, two duvets, and zero midnight temperature wars. It’s a Nordic setup rooted in autonomy, balance, and personalization—and it’s trending because it works.

Poor sleep impacts emotional regulation, intimacy, patience, and conflict. Good sleep strengthens closeness, responsiveness, and relational resilience. That’s why experts say shared rest matters just as much as shared touch. With two duvets, each person controls their own climate and comfort. It helps couples avoid blaming each other for disrupted nights while still keeping physical closeness, contact, and co-regulation. For many, separate duvets reduce resentment and improve mood, connection, and overall relationship quality.

Trying it at home is simple: one fitted sheet, two duvets, your own chosen weight and fabric, and complementary colors for aesthetics. Add a coverlet on top if you want a unified look. It’s a small shift that can prevent unnecessary tension and support both rest and closeness. Healthy relationships evolve, and sleep habits should, too. The goal isn’t matching blankets—it’s connection without exhaustion.

Want more evidence-based insights on modern intimacy and relational health? Join our FREE weekly newsletter: https://s*xualhealthalliance.com/signup

11/18/2025

Therapy Isn’t About Fixing 💡

So many clients arrive in therapy thinking their “symptoms” are the problem. But as Dr. Chris Donaghue reminded us at the SHA 10-Year Annual Conference, symptoms are communication — not defects.

In s//x therapy, rushing to fix creates performance pressure, shame, and cycles of bypassing. Real growth happens when we slow down, look underneath, and understand what the body, nervous system, and relational patterns are trying to show us. It’s a more compassionate, human approach to s//x therapy — and the future of our field.

Ready to help people move beyond symptom-chasing and into real transformation?Take our 30-second quiz to see which SHA Certification fits you best: https://bit.ly/4l1ZgYU

11/17/2025

“Women make the decisions. They choose the boundaries. They decide what happens and when it’s done.”

This insight from the Cuck My Life panel at our CNM weekend highlights a core truth: in many partner-sharing dynamics, emotional intelligence and partner-centric communication are everything.

For many couples, it isn’t just about the activity itself... it’s about empowerment, agency, emotional attunement, and navigating desire with clarity and consent.

Ready to deepen your expertise in modern relationships? Take our short quiz to find your perfect SHA Certification path: https://bit.ly/4l1ZgYU

11/17/2025

The 3 Types of Spontaneous Org//sms

Spontaneous climaxes happen without any physical touch, and research shows they come in three very different forms.

The first type is linked to Persistent Ge***al Arousal Disorder (PGAD), a condition involving ongoing ge***al aro//sal without desire. It can be painful, distressing, and even debilitating, with symptoms lasting days or weeks. Many people living with PGAD describe shame, isolation, and disrupted daily functioning, and treatments offer limited relief.

The second type is unprovoked climaxes that occur without erot/c thoughts. They can happen during sleep, high stress, medical exams, or as a side effect of medication. People report experiencing them while driving, waking from sleep, or during routine appointments... surprising, confusing, or embarrassing, but not necessarily s/xual.

The third type is imagination-induced climaxes, brought on purely by thoughts or fantasy. Brain scans show that imagining stimulation activates the same pleasure centers as physical touch. They reveal how powerful the mind is in shaping physical response.

Spontaneous climaxes challenge narrow ideas about s/xuality. They remind us that arousal is not just physical — it’s deeply tied to imagination, emotion, nervous system sensitivity, and individual experience. Understanding these responses reduces stigma and expands how we think about pleasure, desire, and intimate wellbeing.

Curious which SHA certification fits your work with s/x, relationships, or intimacy? Take our 30-second quiz to get started: https://bit.ly/4l1ZgYU

11/17/2025

Dr. Rhonda Balzarini reminds us that when couples lose novelty and self-expansion, connection fades, satisfaction drops, and even the risk for infidelity can rise. But growth, new experiences, and shared curiosity can bring desire back online.

If you want to help couples reignite connection using evidence-based tools, explore SHA Certification. Take the Quiz to find your program match: https://bit.ly/4l1ZgYU

11/16/2025

Here’s How to Tell You’re a Performative Male 👀

A performative male is someone who presents as emotionally deep, evolved, feminist, self-aware, or spiritually mature, not because it reflects his real inner world, but because it performs well on dating apps. It’s masculinity built for optics, curated for approval, and optimized for attraction. Think mountain meditation selfies, journaling-on-a-cliff aesthetics, gym selfies with Rupi Kaur quotes, cold plunges and feminist hashtags, and “great with kids” photos (always followed by “not my kid”). It signals depth without actually being depth.

Psychologists say this is rising because modern dating rewards curated masculinity, social media boosts optics over honesty, dating apps gamify personality, and AI makes it easy to fake emotional intelligence. It’s masculinity designed for the algorithm: BookTok boyfriend energy with none of the emotional work behind it. But the problem is that it isn’t sustainable. The real you always shows up eventually, and the gap between the persona and the person makes authentic intimacy impossible. Women feel misled, and men feel disconnected from themselves.

The healthier approach is authenticity. Noticing when you’re performing, asking who you’re trying to impress, sharing small real preferences, building friendships where honesty matters more than image, and practicing vulnerability in low-stakes spaces all strengthen emotional muscles. Therapy or men’s groups can help too. Authenticity is a skill — not an aesthetic — and real connection comes from the honest, messy, human parts of you, not a character built for swipes.

Curious which SHA certification fits your work with couples + relationships? Take our 30-second quiz to get started: https://bit.ly/4l1ZgYU

11/16/2025

In our work with clients navigating out-of-control s/xual behavior (OCSB), shame isn’t just an emotion; it’s a defense system. One that hides, suppresses, and fragments the erotic self to stay “unseen.”

As Michael Vigorito explains, shame pushes people to avoid the very parts of themselves that need understanding, visibility, and healing. And when clinicians don’t know how to assess this, we risk reinforcing the very disintegration our clients are fighting against.

That’s why OCSB work is never just about behavior. It’s about reintegration: helping clients bring their erotic selves back into alignment with their values, safety, and identity.

If this is the level of nuance you want in your clinical work, we’d love to support your training journey. Take the Quiz to find your SHA Certification match: https://bit.ly/4l1ZgYU

11/15/2025

Chatfishing is the new catfishing. Let’s break it down.

Chatfishing is the newest twist in modern dating... instead of fake photos, you’re meeting fake emotional fluency. It’s when someone uses AI to rewrite their messages, polish flirty replies, or build a persona that feels emotionally intelligent, reflective, witty, and deeply attuned. Online, they sound like your soulmate. In person, they’re flat, awkward, or nothing like the person you thought you were connecting with.

People turn to AI because of dating burnout, pressure to stand out, anxiety about texting, neurodivergence support, or the desire to appear emotionally literate without the risk of vulnerability. AI makes anyone seem attentive, charming, curious, and “therapist-level” reflective, so your brain reads the conversation as a real connection, even when it’s algorithmically crafted.

The issue is the emotional whiplash. You open up to someone who remembers every detail and asks the perfect questions, only to meet someone who can’t hold a basic conversation. Messages feel articulate, poetic, or unusually deep, then suddenly switch to one-word replies. The “instant chemistry” was never them: it was a bot mirroring you back to yourself.

When dating apps already push people toward performance and optimization, AI adds another layer of illusion. Many Chatfishers aren’t trying to deceive; they’re editing tone, clarifying feelings, or compensating for social anxiety. But others outsource entire conversations, creating intimacy without accountability. And when you finally meet, the spark disappears because the digital version was never real.

AI can assist connection, but it can’t create chemistry, relational skills, or trust. Authenticity, clarity, and vulnerability will always build stronger intimacy than flawless phrasing or perfectly tailored messages. Use AI to express yourself better, not to impersonate someone you’re not.

Want to stay ahead of modern intimacy, digital s/xuality, and relationship research? Join our FREE newsletter for weekly insights: https://s*xualhealthalliance.com/signup

11/14/2025

Platforms say it’s “community guidelines.” But for educators and clinicians, it’s a barrier to doing essential, life-saving work. When posts about consent, safe s/x, STI prevention, LGBTQ+ safety, trauma recovery, and relational well-being get removed, it doesn’t just inconvenience creators... it removes access to core public health information.

Censorship doesn’t just silence educators. It reinforces shame. It deepens stigma. It leaves people confused, anxious, and unsupported. And the communities who need this education most — LGBTQ+ folks, survivors, marginalized identities — face the harshest hit. If you’ve been impacted by this kind of silencing, you’re not imagining it. You’re not overreacting. And you’re definitely not alone.

Want to become the kind of educator who can navigate censorship and still create impact? Take the Quiz to find your certification match: https://bit.ly/4l1ZgYU

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1705 West Koenig Lane
Austin, TX
78756

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+15125536310

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http://sexualhealthalliance.com/

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