12/12/2024
The Torah’s blanket term for all the reasons why people get a divorce is “ervat davar”.
Relationships between couples are a means to be an end, not the end in itself. If a partner can’t meet the needs of the other, they go their separate ways amicably. Inasmuch as we want it, the reality is that some people just can’t be what we want them to be and it’s ok. You wouldn’t ask an apple to act like an orange, or a carpenter like a shoemaker. Would you?
As a therapist, I see too many clients trying to “save their relationships” instead of getting their needs met. I understand why, though. I help them achieve their goals, but also help them see things from a different perspective, a more realistic ones in each case.
