05/07/2025
Burying the Past: Our Addiction to the Story
How often do we tell ourselves—and others—the story of our pain, our illness, our heartbreak? How often do we retell the narrative of everything that’s wrong: in our bodies, our lives, the world?
What effect does this have on us? On our cortisol levels, our inflammation, our nervous systems? On our spiritual and emotional well-being? The truth is, every time we tell that story with emotion and passion, we reinforce it. We breathe new life into our suffering—into our identity as someone who is broken, stuck, or in pain.
Think about how many times you've picked up your phone today, only to see someone else venting their fear, their anger about the state of the world. It’s everywhere. And while ignoring it isn’t the answer, constantly focusing on what’s wrong—without balancing it with what’s right—drains us. It erodes our health, our resilience, our ability to see beauty and possibility.
Healing isn’t just about the physical body, even though that’s often where we focus when things go wrong. Sometimes it feels like we don’t have control over our symptoms, our diagnosis, our pain. But what we can control is our story.
I remember during the Landmark Forum, we had an exercise where we repeated our story—the one about what wasn’t working—again and again until it lost its charge. Eventually, it just felt like... words. Not something we were living. Then we practiced telling a different story. A story about what we wanted. What we were creating. The shift was powerful. It taught me just how much our brain, body, and spirit respond to the stories we choose to tell.
So what story are you telling your body right now? Your mind? Your spirit?
One of the most important tools I’ve learned is simply this: notice. Without judgment. Notice how often you focus on what’s wrong. Notice how often you say it out loud. Every time we re-tell the story of our suffering—with vivid imagery and emotion—we reignite it. Many healing traditions believe this keeps the wound alive. The path forward, then, is to shift from within. To imagine, with that same depth of emotion, the version of life we want to be living. The version of ourselves we want to become.
The healing lineage in which I have been trained, Niasziih, teaches that healing begins with choice. Choice changes everything. And if you need science to back that up, it's out there—on how mindset affects health, how meditation, gratitude, love, and touch impact our biology. But for me, I’m past needing to “prove” it. Since my healing journey began in 1996 as a teenager, I’ve moved from seeker to student to someone who has lived this work. This isn’t just theory to me anymore—it’s embodied wisdom.
We may not always control our circumstances, but we can choose our focus, our imagination, and our inner dialogue. The mainstream media might not report on everyday miracles, but that doesn’t mean they’re not happening. They are. Every single day.
So be the miracle. Choose a story that inspires healing, one you’d be excited to share with your friends, your family, even your doctor. Make it one you can believe—even just a little. Then tell it with your whole heart to yourself and those around you every time you can remember. I promise that focusing on the health, love, and gifts, that you have, will beget more gifts, health and love.
n her private practice in Avon and Granby Connecticut, Becky merges the mind, body, and spirit healing arts of Classical Five Element Acupuncture and Chinese Medicine with Niasziih Healing. Depending on each patient's needs, she will use other modalities
