05/11/2025
Why is c-section on my mind this Mother’s Day? Because one of the ways for you all to know more of my story, is to allow me to tell you some of my Mother’s story.
I was a c-section baby. My mom had 3 c-sections. All very hard, difficult deliveries in their own ways. These c-sections were in 1973, 1976, and 1982, and there’s still trauma that she carries from them. Her heart ached for a natural birth.
Here’s the summary version of each delivery:
Birth #1: Mom had severe gestational hypertension and hyperemesis gravidarum the entire pregnancy, which escalated to pre-eclampsia at 7-1/2 months pregnant. It was an air force base hospital in Minot, ND. Her ‘OBGYN’ was a toe doctor, not actually an OB. But he was the doctor. They induced labor at 34 weeks because of the pre-e. Induction “didn’t make enough progress” after only 2 hours of attempting it, and so they went right to c-section. This was this doctor’s first ever c-section. Again, he was not an OB. He was a toe specialist. Baby girl was 4 pounds, but strong and healthy. My mom didn’t wake up after surgery for 2-1/2 days. My dad was so scared that she would never wake up. But she did. She woke up at 2-1/2 days post surgery when they finally “allowed” him to go in the room to see her. He touched her shoulder and whispered to her, and her eyes opened. Her first words, that she could barely muster, were “I need a toothbrush.” My dad was so glad to see her back! The postpartum recovery was brutal, and the incision was botched with flesh all clumped up to one end of it.
Birth #2: With no signs of pre-e this time, my mom wanted a natural birth. This time it was the Hospital in Virginia, MN. The hospital was excited to have an ultrasound machine now (1976), and at one point in the pregnancy told my mom to come in for an ultrasound where they invited a dozen or more doctors into the room to witness, and proceeded to be very rough with the ultrasound. It was the first ultrasound they’d done in their hospital. They told her she’ll need to come back for more again on another day, but she rightfully refused. As far as the birth plan—the doctor told her a natural labor is not allowed. She’s had a past c-section and so she needs another one. My mom chose her delivery date among the few choices of dates they gave her. She lost huge amounts of blood during the surgery, was extremely weak, and told not to lift more than 5 pounds for the next 6 months. When her parents came to visit right after surgery, they walked in to see her, saw her laying there looking limp and green, and immediately walked back out to the hallway to cry together. They thought she was dying. This c-section was another botched experience, and another very rough recovery. My maternal grandma helped my mom recover. She did most of the care for the healthy 6 pound baby boy. Gave her to my mom for breastfeeding, but cared for him and for her in every way.
Birth #3: Now 6 years later… Again, my mom wanted a natural birth. The trauma from both previous c-sections was so much. (This 3rd time around was the pregnancy with me in utero.) This time the hospital delivery would be at St Mary’s in Duluth, MN. She found an OBGYN there who specialized in ‘high risk’ deliveries. He was very kind, and he was more than happy for her to try for a planned VBAC after 2 c-sections. The pregnancy went well. She craved carrots, and says that as soon as the garden carrots were big enough to eat, she starting digging up an ice cream pail’s worth of them every day—and ate the whole bucket of them daily until I was born. Yum! (She also claims that I came out orange in color, because of her carrot consumption. But I’m thinking that part of the story is “Moberg embellishment.” IYKYK. 😂) She went into natural labor with me. Her first time in real labor—she was excited! Labor became intense quickly, and contraction strength was often “off the charts” on the continuous monitoring graph. For a whopping 48 hours, she labored hard. Walking, laying down, coping, breathing. Her frustrations were not lost in the system this time though. Her kind hearted doctor tried to help her think of ways to progress. At one point after a cervical exam they discussed scar tissue from her previous c-sections. He said he could feel what seemed like scar tissue near her cervix, and it was still only 1-1/2 cm dilated. At this point they decided to reach as far as they could to see what could be felt. He reached inside the cervix and began massaging scar tissue, saying he’s never felt so much of it, and never so close to the cervix. Massaging the scar tissue seemed to help some. But it wasn’t enough. Contractions were one on top of the other at 48 hours, mom’s blood pressure started to raise a bit, my heartrate was seeing more decelerations, and dilation was still 1-1/2cm. The doctor was so kind though, and still only discussed the risks and benefits of continuing labor. He didn’t pressure my mom into the c-section. But it was time. She decided she didn’t want to risk my heart decels, and she went ahead with the c-section. This surgery was thankfully the best one yet though. The doctor did an excellent job with this c-section. The surgery was extensive, removing scar tissue from previous c-sections, not only on the uterus, but on other layers too. Her recovery was amazing! She didn’t lose much blood, her belly felt more normal than it had in 10 years, and her pain levels were exponentially less than with the previous surgeries.
If you talk to my mom about her births, she’ll gladly share details. And there’s so much more than what was told above. But one thing you may notice as she tells them is “my body couldn’t do it.” Or “the VBAC still failed though.” And you’ll see tears of trauma and sadness in her eyes as parts of each story are told. She’s lived her whole life thinking her body was broken in some way.
My mom finally experienced some glimmers of healing many years later, when witnessing her daughter give birth at home. The tears flowed heavily. And while she’d even witnessed several of the same daughter’s previous ‘natural hospital births,’ this was different. It was a setting of calm and healing. And healing is what happened. It wasn’t even her own birth. It was her daughter’s birth. But she felt it to her core. And a few stitches of healing began in her heart.
Doing this work as a Homebirth Midwife brings forth all the feelings. There’s no way to put into words how incredible it is to witness the healing take place when an HBAC unfolds right in front of you.
I hear all these same stories from my clients. I see the same trauma. I see the same tears. I help them discuss the pros and cons, the risks and benefits. Then after they’re empowered with information, they make an informed decision for themselves.
In many ways, my own birth story, the story of how my mom delivered me, is a huge part of my care for my clients. There’s a small piece of me that heals inside every time I am privileged to witness another VBAC. I support HBAC, HBA2C, HBA3C, HBAC after special scars. And I will continue to. I’ll continue to support their informed choice, and their journey towards healing.
This Mother’s Day, I say—Thank you, Mom! Thank you for my birth. Thank you for my “failed” VBA2C attempt. Thank you for your incredible journey of inspiration, that has now helped prevent unnecessary c-sections in many of my clients. Your birth stories made a difference, Mom.
