Family Matters Counseling & Assessment Services

01/01/2026

WHEN TRIGGERED, REMEMBER TO GIVE YOURSELF G.R.A.C.E.

Triggers often show up quietly and then suddenly feel overwhelming.
A tone of voice.
A delayed reply.
A look that reminds you of an old wound.
A boundary crossed.
Feeling unseen, corrected, abandoned, or misunderstood.

In these moments, the body reacts faster than the mind. What surfaces is not immaturity or over-sensitivity—it is memory. The nervous system responding to what once hurt.

This is where G.R.A.C.E. becomes a lived practice, not a concept.

G — Ground
Use this when you feel your body tightening, your breath becoming shallow, or your thoughts racing.
Grounding helps when you feel flooded—during an argument, after a harsh comment, or when your body feels on edge for “no clear reason.”

R — Recognize
Use this when self-criticism begins.
Recognize that what you’re feeling is a trigger, not the whole truth of the present moment.
This step is especially helpful in relationships—when old attachment wounds are activated.

A — Allow
Use this when you feel the urge to suppress, distract, or immediately “move on.”
Allowing is essential after emotional invalidation, conflict, or when grief or anger feels inconvenient but persistent.

C — Compassion
Use this when shame appears.
Compassion is needed when you judge yourself for reacting, crying, freezing, or needing reassurance.
It reminds you that this response was once a survival strategy.

E — Engage with choice
Use this when you are about to send a message, lash out, withdraw, or over-explain.
Engaging with choice allows you to pause and ask:
“What would feel most regulating—not most reactive—right now?”

⸻

Situations where G.R.A.C.E. is especially helpful
• During conflict with loved ones
• When you feel criticized, controlled, or dismissed
• After emotional neglect or silence
• In moments of abandonment fear or rejection
• When old family dynamics resurface
• When you feel guilty for having needs
• When your body reacts before logic can intervene

Triggers are not signs that you are “going backwards.”
They are places where healing is asking to go deeper.

Meeting these moments with G.R.A.C.E. teaches the nervous system something new:
This time, I am not alone with what I feel.

And that—slowly, gently—is how safety is re-learned.🤗🤗

12/31/2025

12/30/2025

Day 364 of 365.

12/29/2025

DBT Skills. Distress Tolerance. STOP Skill + TIP Skill.

12/26/2025

Simple Habits for a Calmer New Year

Start the day without your phone
Avoid screens for the first 20–30 minutes to reduce cortisol spikes and mental overload.

Create one non-negotiable daily routine
A fixed habit walk provides stability on chaotic days.

Practice single-tasking
Focus on one task at a time to lower anxiety and improve cognitive efficiency.

Set a daily “stop time”
Decide when work ends to prevent burnout and improve sleep quality.

Declutter one small space daily
Physical order reduces mental noise and decision fatigue.

12/23/2025

These are not small things. They are not “soft goals” or passing phases. They are the quiet markers of a life coming back into alignment — the kind of progress that doesn’t always announce itself, but changes everything underneath the surface. 🖤

12/20/2025

2026 isn’t asking you to reinvent yourself overnight. It’s asking you to release what keeps you small. Let go of the pressure to be “further ahead.” Let go of the older version of you who did the best she could with what she had. Let go of waiting for apologies that may never come. Let go of forcing outcomes that are already shifting in ways you can’t see yet.

Your only job is to tend to what’s yours — your growth, your integrity, your healing, your faith. The rest unfolds the way it’s meant to. You’re not defined by your past, your timeline, or anyone’s perception of you. You are defined by the person you’re becoming, the choices you make now, and the courage it takes to release what no longer fits.

This year, detach from what holds you back so you can finally rise into what’s been waiting for you.

12/11/2025

This festive season I hope the glimmers find you, I hope each day something magic happens for you. This time of year can sometimes feel like an uphill battle, for anyone that needs this today, please know you aren’t alone. For those that have lost, I hope the memories fill your heart with love, and anyone struggling in the dark finds the glimmers to pull you through.

I promise you aren’t alone, and one day soon the glimmers will turn into the brightest light and you’ll see you made it through ✨