Shiloh Counseling LLC

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Ballwin, MO
Shiloh Counseling LLC

Dr. Clay Brigance is the founder, clinical director and lead counselor at Shiloh Counseling, LLC. Clay is also able to see couples.

Clay's passion in therapy is to join you on your life journey to finding wholeness again. Clay is a doctorate level counselor who is able to see pre-teens and teens age 10 and up, as well as adults. Clay is also uniquely qualified to do psychological evaluations for children age 6 to 17. With nearly 10 years of experience as a school psychologist in the public schools, Clay can provide an informative evaluation for your child to help you find answers as well as guide you through the IEP process in plan language. However, Clay's ultimate passion is counseling individuals and couples who are navigating infertility and reproductive loss. Clay has become a leading researcher and therapist for this special population, being a featured speaker for the Institute of Reproductive Grief Care, The Crossing Church, and The American Psychological Association for how to counsel couples navigating infertility.

03/13/2026

Over the past several years, I’ve worked with many individuals and couples navigating infertility, miscarriage, and reproductive grief. One thing has become increasingly clear:

Infertility doesn’t just challenge hope. It often challenges relationships too.

Different grief. Different coping styles. A lot of uncertainty.

That’s why I’m excited to share a new project I’ve been working on with

🎙 Love and Infertility is a new podcast focused on the relational and emotional side of infertility—through honest conversations, expert insight, and real stories.

Produced by , our hope is to create a space where couples and individuals navigating infertility can feel less alone, and where we can have the conversations that so often go unspoken.

Launching March 19.

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03/12/2026

For the past several months, I’ve been quietly working on something that means a lot to me.

It’s rooted in the same work I care deeply about — helping couples navigate infertility, grief, and the ways these experiences shape relationships.

This project has been in the works for a while, and tomorrow (March 13) I’ll finally get to share it.

More soon.

03/09/2026

One of the most common reasons couples come to see me during infertility is the mental load women often carry.

Tracking cycles.
Scheduling appointments.
Researching treatments.
Holding the emotional weight of each result.

Over time, it can feel like one partner is carrying the whole journey.

Not because the other partner doesn’t care — but because the invisible work of infertility can quietly pile up.

When couples begin to name that mental load and share it more intentionally, something important happens:

The relationship starts to feel like a team again.

And that shift can change everything.

03/05/2026

One of the hardest things infertility and miscarriage can do to a relationship is this:

Couples slowly lose the ability to feel heard.

Not because they stop caring.
Not because they stop loving each other.

But because the grief is heavy, the emotions are intense, and each partner is trying to make sense of the pain in their own way.

One partner may want to talk.
The other may go quiet.
One may want reassurance.
The other may try to solve the problem.

Over time, both people can start to feel misunderstood.

But connection can be rebuilt.

When couples slow down enough to truly listen, validate each other’s emotions, and respond with curiosity instead of correction, something powerful begins to happen:

They start to feel heard again.

And when that happens, the relationship can breathe again.

03/03/2026

At the beginning of this session, they were fighting.

Infertility had taken their grief and turned it into frustration — and it was landing on each other.

By the end, they were leaning in.

Not because the pain disappeared.
Not because the uncertainty was resolved.

But because they began responding to each other differently.

Transformation during infertility is possible. Not through fixing. Not through forcing optimism. But through emotional connection — learning how to stay on the same side, even when the road ahead feels unclear.

Much of this shift is guided by the Four Pillars approach I use in my work — grounded in research and shaped in the therapy room.

I’ll be sharing more about that soon.

Connection doesn’t require perfect circumstances.
It requires intention.

02/28/2026

Wrapped day two of filming Couple Therapy for Reproductive Grief with the American Psychological Association.

Today I had the opportunity to be interviewed by .rose about my approach to working with couples navigating infertility and reproductive loss — particularly the role of emotional validation, attunement, and helping partners respond to one another without rushing toward solutions.

Slowing down to articulate the “why” behind this work was meaningful. This approach has been shaped over years in the therapy room, and by couples who trusted me with some of their most vulnerable moments.

Grateful to help bring this work into a wider clinical conversation.

02/27/2026

Day one of filming Couple Therapy for Reproductive Grief with the American Psychological Association is complete.

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to demonstrate three therapy sessions on camera — each one exploring a different facet of reproductive grief. Even in a filmed setting with actors, the emotional terrain felt real: longing, disappointment, shame, love, uncertainty.

What stood out most was how transformative it can be when couples slow down enough to truly hear one another. When grief is named. When validation replaces fixing. When partners remember they’re on the same side.

Reproductive grief is complex. It touches identity, intimacy, hope, and the imagined future. But watching couples move from isolation toward connection — even within a structured teaching format — was a powerful reminder of why this work matters.

Grateful for the opportunity to bring this work into a broader clinical space, and grateful for the couples who have shaped this approach long before a camera was ever present.

02/04/2026

Some of the most common things I hear from men struggling with infertility sound like this:

“I’m not man enough.”
“I should be stronger than this.”
“I don’t get to fall apart—my partner has it worse.”
“I don’t know how to talk about what I’m feeling.”

Underneath all of it is a quiet belief that worth, strength, or masculinity is something that can be failed.

Infertility has a way of turning pain inward—especially for men who were taught to measure themselves by fixing, providing, or holding it together.

But grief isn’t weakness.
And silence isn’t strength.

Your infertility doesn’t define your masculinity.

02/02/2026

This week, I'll be sharing more about the psychology of men during infertility.

Not from a distance.
Not just from textbooks or research articles.

I came to this work first as an infertility patient—trying to be strong, supportive, and steady, while carrying questions I didn’t yet have language for. Over time, that lived experience grew into clinical work, research, and eventually national conversations about how men actually experience infertility and reproductive loss.

Men often don’t disengage because they don’t care.
They disengage because they don’t know how to carry this openly.

My hope is to keep making space for that story—to talk honestly about shame, silence, strength, and connection, and to remind men (and their partners) that they’re not failing at this.

They’re navigating something profoundly human.

12/23/2025

The holidays can feel heavy when you're carrying grief. Whatever this season brings up for you, your feelings are valid - and you don't have to move through it alone.

Save or share this with someone who might need a little gentleness today.

And if you're needing support, we'd love to help.
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Disclaimer: This content is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Reading or engaging with this content does not constitute therapy, nor should it be considered professional advice or a substitute for therapy. Everyone's experiences are unqiue, so what's shared here may or may not resonate with you. For more details, please check out the Social Media Disclaimers post pinned to our IG feed.

12/02/2025

Here are four small ways to support your nervous system and stay connected to yourself, even during the holiday rush. Tiny, doable practices that bring you back to center - one breath, one boundary, one quiet pause at a time.

If you or your family could use extra support this season, Shiloh is here as your place of peace. Click the link in our bio to connect with our team today.
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Disclaimer: This content is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Reading or engaging with this content does not constitute therapy, nor should it be considered professional advice or a substitute for therapy. Everyone's experiences are unqiue, so what's shared here may or may not resonate with you. For more details, please check out the Social Media Disclaimers post pinned to our IG feed.

11/27/2025

Gratitude isn’t just a feeling - it’s a practice that you can engage with by looking for the bright spots around you. ✨

Today, we're grateful for our fantastic Shiloh team and their wonderful families, our beautiful community of providers, colleagues, and friends, and the clients that we're honored to walk alongside.

We hope that you have the best Thanksgiving available to you today!
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Disclaimer: This content is intended for educational and informational purposes only. Reading or engaging with this content does not constitute therapy, nor should it be considered professional advice or a substitute for therapy. Everyone's experiences are unqiue, so what's shared here may or may not resonate with you. For more details, please check out the Social Media Disclaimers post pinned to our IG feed.

Address

15480 Clayton Road Suite 103
Ballwin, MO
63011

Telephone

+13142469126

Website

http://www.shilohcounselingllc.com/

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