03/07/2026
I'm about to say something controversial in the birth support world.
Something I wouldn't have said easily a few years ago, but today it feels very easy.
Sometimes C-sections are necessary.
Sometimes vaginal birth is physically impossible.
Sometimes a mama's body just CANT deliver vaginally.
Sometimes, often times, a baby is no longer tolerating labor that well, and perhaps that can be avoided in many cases, but sometimes it CANNOT be avoided at all.
And when that happens you really want a surgeon on board who cares about birth, cares about you, cares about getting answers.
In my 17 years of birth work I have NEVER encountered a surgeon like Dr. Carman at Bronson Kalamazoo. She was AMAZING! Not only during surgery, but also before and after as well. Now I've seen other providers care, and there are quite a few I could list by name who were just incredible humans who really went above and beyond the stereotypical Dr. vibes... BUT Dr. Carman came in with kindness, and a quality of listening that is uncommon in the world let alone a hospital setting.
When my client requested ANYTHING Dr. Carman was patient, agreed with the plan of action and offered her EVERYTHING possible on that birth plan. She agreed to a lotus birth (in a c-section y'all). She told mama that holding baby skin to skin immediately after was possible, and that she would help facilitate that. Literally everything this mama wanted was respected, and graciously offered so long as it was within Dr. Carman's ability, and the baby was doing well enough to fulfill it.
After the baby was born and Dr. Carman was finished with her work, she explained the procedure complications to me, as well as some other details that were important to know. She took her time, and was friendly. She thanked me for my questions.
The following day Dr. Carman went to my client's postpartum room and followed up with her. She explained everything, from the placement of the incision to why it all went down the way it did. How long it took, why it took that amount of time... you name it Dr. Carman answered all the questions.
And lets be clear. In 17 years as a birth worker I have NEVER had a client's surgeon come and tell her WHY her baby wouldn't descend through her pelvis... no answers EVER... until now. Dr. Carman took the time while she performed the surgery to get some answers for this mama who had worked so long and so hard to birth her baby vaginally. And this is significant for many reasons.. some of them obvious, like future family planning... but some much less obvious because Dr. Carman was about to go off shift, she could have just rushed it all, but she didn't... she took her time, making sure she was able to not only perform the surgery well, but also get some answers for a mama who really did her best to birth vaginally.
Take a moment.... think about all this. C-sections are not the enemy. Dr's are not the enemy. Our hospital systems are not the enemy. What then is?
Perhaps it is our own inability to face each other and our situations with humanity and respect. Don't judge the mama, the system, or the provider without all the facts. And don't shame them either. There are incredible birth geeks out there who really do want vaginal delivery but when it isn't possible they provide the way regardless....
I'll never be a Dr.... I don't want to be, but if I ever did have the desire to do such a thing... I'd want to be just like Dr. Carman in my patient care.
