Shana Mercer, M.Ed., LPC

05/08/2026

While grief certainly feels like depression, it is so so much deeper. Few people understand this better than women who have lost their spouse. The grief of a widow has unique moments and it's difficult to find someone who understands this. Of course all grief is unique. Several details impact the process. Who died, (spouse, child, friend, grandparent, sibling) How they died (illness, accident, self-inflicted, victim of a crime, suddenly) How close were you to that person. Even if you weren't close, the grief of losing someone you weren't close to or even were estranged from has a distinctive progression.

Widows have a special place in my heart. My mother was married for 32 years and she remained a widow for 36. As her daughter I walked this journey through grief adjacent to her.

Each Thursday at 5:30 I offer a setting for widow's to meet. We talk, laugh, share our stories, cry, scream, cuss and support one another. I have openings in this group for an additional two women. There is not cost to participate. If you or someone you know would be interested, have them reach out to me by email. smercer@hush.com

Please share this invitation if you wish.

This is the last photo I took with my mother and the last 4 generation photo, for a while at least :)

03/25/2026

I know we live in a world of texting. However due to HIPPA I must communicate with clients via email or more recently through a secure client portal. Many medical professionals have already switched to portals as a means of back and forth communication. I am finding however that many people are utilizing their spam email for contact. Which means important information is getting lost with the endless spam emails we receive everyday. I'd like to encourage everyone to provide email information to medical professionals that will be checked. This helps you get valuable information and greatly reduces response time.
The fastest means of reaching me is by email. I no longer have an office manager so the only way to reach me is electronically. I am either in session or it is after hours so I am unable to return calls, but I always answer emails.
The feels like a public service announcement. lol

Send a message to learn more

02/26/2026

14 years ago I became the “matriarch” of my family. I was 47 years old. The exact age my dad was when he was killed by a drunk driver. Is that irony? Writing about losing beloved parents is difficult but people can relate. How do you write about losing someone when the relationship was full of pain, anger and conflict? I’ve been criticized because I haven’t elevated my mother to “sainthood”. I just can’t do it. To do this would be to deny my reality. Yet my reality with her is unique. She was completely different with my biological siblings. My dad was a buffer when he was home. As a truck driver that wasn’t a daily thing but I know she was different in his presence. She was a different person with my two older children than she was with the girls that followed. Who she was to me is so very hard to explain. I often say growing up in my family was like being exposed to carbon monoxide poisoning. I knew I was dying but I couldn’t tell where it was coming from.

During one of her final ICU visits she spotted me in the doorway. She was surrounded by others and I really didn’t want to go in. When she spotted me, she asked “When are you coming back home? I miss you.” I’d been staying at my childhood home during the week while I was in grad school. That question was a game changer. She only lived about 6 more weeks but I stopped being so angry with her. It was a blessing but also devastating. I saw a glimpse of what it should’ve been like. That is what I grieve… the should have beens.

I’ve fought an internal war for decades trying to be a “good” mom. That is so very hard when you are making it up as you go along. I joke with my kids and tell them I can’t heal the wounds I made but I know some really good therapists.

I don’t believe that we become angels when we die. No one really knows. I do know my father was the one person my mother truly loved and I like to picture them together dancing, fishing, laughing and singing. These are the random thoughts I have when I remember her. So today, on the 14th anniversary of her death, that’s the picture in my mind.
These photos are some of the last ones of her that I took.

02/10/2026

We are looking to add a masseuse and a clinician to our group. If you know of anyone looking for office space, please send them my way.

Send a message to learn more

02/10/2026

Beginning March 1, 2026, I will begin seeing clients at my new address, 479 Pine St. Beaumont, TX 77701. I haven't moved far but I hope my clients love the new vibe as much as I do. If you have an appointment before this date and if I'm able to complete the move earlier than planned you will be notified by text or portal message. I can't wait to give you a tour!

05/09/2025

A Tribute to My Girls
There was a post shared by one of my daughters and tagged with her sisters a few days ago and it was obvious they were sharing an inside joke. This happens often. I used to feel jealous that I was left out of these moments and then I realized one day (quite a while ago) that I am their mom, not their sister. Then came the crashing realization that I have no idea how it feels to have a sister bond. While I do have biological siblings, I grew up as an only child. According to my kids and husband it shows; whatever that means. lol By the time I was old enough to maintain picture memories, these siblings were adults. I have never been close with them. The bond I witness with my daughters is foreign to me. This saddens me. Not because I don't have a relationship like this but due to a generational family cycle of dysfunction, I'll never have firsthand knowledge of this unique friendship. However, I've been very blessed to watch it unfold all around me.

12/31/2024

2025 is the beginning of my 60’s era. Upon reflection I’ve realized…
My 20’s were sadly mostly chaos and drama.
My 30’s was hustle and bustle.
My 40’s were marked by eliminating toxicity and finding my purpose.
My 50’s brought peace and clarity.
I’m hoping my 60’s will be full of fun and adventure before my body says “heck no” to “watch this”

Happy New Years Eve

06/16/2024

About 3 years ago one of my daughters was so stressed about choosing the song for her wedding daddy/daughter dance. I think I’d listened to at least 15 songs and had liked each one equally. In irritation I said “Just pick one” She replied in matched frustration “This is hard. How did you pick?” She immediately began to apologize “Oh mama, I’m so sorry.” I sat there stunned. Not because in that stressful moment she forgot my dad was killed by a drunk driver when I was twelve, but because it had just dawned on me that that was one decision I never had to make.
I told her to take all the time she needed. When the time came and as I watched her dance with her daddy in that beautiful gown, to the perfect song, I cried happy tears for the love they share and the love I still miss 47 years later. Treasure each moment with your loved ones. Time truly does fly by.

05/07/2024

I’m willing to bet no one has ever settled a conflict while yelling at each other. Attack the problem. Not each other!

06/19/2023

When I was 12 years old I took my first and only vacation with my parents to visit family in Sioux Falls, SD. We were supposed to stop at Yellowstone National Park on the way home. Life happened and my dad said “Don’t worry, sweetheart. I’ll bring you back next year” Three weeks later he was killed by a drunk driver. Yellowstone has been on my bucket list for 46 years. Look who made my dream come true…
photo taken at Natural Bridge

06/01/2023

Ready to see our grands recital!!