02/22/2026
Whenever I used to go visit my family members in rural Louisiana, one thing that always stood out to me was that nobody was really genuinely checking on the relatives. Here I was, a fresh 19-year-old man traveling back and forth to Louisiana, single, just trying to connect with family and learn history.
When I met these relatives, they shared a lot of information with me. But at the same time, I couldn’t help but notice the emotional and financial struggles some of them were facing. I used to try to ignite their spirit, make them laugh, make them feel seen and happy.
There’s something I never really said publicly. I used to carry $100 bills with me. That way, when I visited certain relatives, I could quietly leave them a little support. They never asked for anything, but you could feel when someone was going through something.
I started doing that after one particular visit. A relative offered me something to drink. When I opened the icebox, there was nothing in it. As much as I tried to focus on the information they were sharing, I couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that this family member was clearly struggling. I left three crisp $100 bills that day. I was getting paid every Thursday, and at that time I didn’t have children or much debt, so I had a little extra to give to some of the elders.
Nobody knew I was doing that.
That’s why it used to bother me when people said I was taking from relatives. I am proud to say that the conversations, photographs, and videos I collected mean these people will continue to live through my work.
I’m not throwing shade at the family, but the truth is a lot of these elders were forgotten. Sometimes I don’t even see their names mentioned. Yet when I share them on social media, look how many people come forward with stories and memories, realizing the special relationships they had with these individuals. That brings me joy.
So yes, it can be frustrating when family members act funny about me sharing their deceased loved ones. The reality is that I came with knowledge, information, and a sense of pride. I can only imagine how many elders we’ve lost who were taken advantage of by people close to them, loans taken out in their names or decisions made for someone else’s benefit.
All I’m doing is sharing information to reconnect family, and that is a beautiful thing. When I post those old photos and see people commenting, sharing stories, and reconnecting, that’s what makes it worth it.
Genealogy teaches you something important. When you sit with elders long enough, people tell you their business. I have integrity, so I would never expose anyone, but I know a lot about moves people made involving the deceased. That’s something people underestimate. I sit with the elders, and the elders know everything. They are not just on social media looking at everyone’s horrible gumbo recipes or passing time. They are paying attention. They are gathering information too. We just typically simplify it as being nosey 😂 👀 👂 👃
So today, call a relative. Check on them. Go sit with them. Don’t just ask questions for research. Ask them if they need anything.
You never know what a simple conversation or act of care can mean to someone.gss