08/29/2025
The other morning, my 7-year old sulked on the floor after her sister refused to let her wear a certain shirt to school. After hearing both sides of the story and helping them problem solve, she continue to lay on the floor in complete dismay, lol. So i said, "Car leaves in 30 mins. I expect you to get dressed, brush your teeth, eat breakfast, and pack your backpack. Don't let your feelings get in the way of your responsibilities."
And then I walked away.
The next thing I know she's coming down the hallway in a good mood getting dressed and taking care of her business. I later circled back to the moment by saying, "Great job taking care of your responsibilities and setting yourself up for a good day. It's always OK to feel your feelings *and* we can't let our feelings hold us back from what we need to do. I'm proud of you."
This is now one of our family mantras.
Of course, kids need to feel how they feel.
Of course, all feelings are valid.
Of course, children need our support with overwhelming feelings.
But what's not talked about enough is how much children need help realizing they're capable of doing hard things while feeling difficult feelings.
Thoughts??
PS: Your specific child should always be considered. This guidance is for developmentally typical children 6+ and may need modification for children with special needs, trauma backgrounds, or developmental delays.
