11/23/2024
It was about 12 years ago when I had my red pill, blue pill moment.
I was working with my first Reiki practitioner who I have been seeing for almost a year almost every week. I had developed spiritually, going from a skeptical atheist when I first saw her, faster than anyone she had seen. And she told me if I went further in my healing and development, there was no turning back.
I didn't know what she meant at the time, that it would mean I would permanently invite the light of the universe into this human vessel so that my eternal soul could better inhabit it. And that by doing that I would be put on a path of constantly seeking life affirming solutions, even if I did take two steps back in my personal growth and development.
I didn't know it would mean that even if I had a strong desire and pull to destroy and leave my body, I would have told the universe I never want to go that route, and therefore would never have the means to do that, only have the means to grow and continue healing, even when I lost every material item and shelter, and spent my last penny.
I didn't know that the universe would put the right people around me, including the "wrong " people around me, to help me on my path and my growth as a soul. I didn't know that this would be a constant source of frustration, but that I would develop the spiritual insight to understand the deeper roots from other lifetimes that led me to learning these lessons and overcoming these challenges.
I didn't know how much this growth would hurt, how my future spiritual awakenings would look like psychosis, public meltdowns and that those would often scare people away.
But I also didn't know that despite all this, whatever opportunities and blessings were meant for me on my path would always find me so that I may fulfill my missions and serve my higher power and the greatest good, and that I would get what my soul wants, even if that meant not getting what my ego wants.
So while I am often very depressed, bitter, tired and fearful, I know this is all part of my path and I will continue walking down it until my higher self and the universe agrees it's time for this vessel to expire and go onto the next adventure.
But I know I still have time left and the ability to be of good use and make some good trouble.
