03/06/2025
This picture was taken 12 years ago. My son was 22 months old and quite literally the only bright spot in my life.
Usually when people look back at baby pictures of their children they’re taken back to happy memories fills with joy and laughter. The time spent with our babies, while sometimes challenging, also makes for the most rewarding, treasured memories.
Yes, old pictures of of my baby make me happy. My kids are and always will be my greatest joy in life.
But, when I look back at candid photos like these of my son from that time, I’m reminded of a time when I was relentlessly stalked, stabbed, physically threatened all hours of the day and night, lied about, r*ped.. a lot…. I could go on, but I won’t.
And, all of that was AFTER I escaped the home and abuser who tormented me relentlessly. I may have finally left, but I still had the legal battles ahead of me and my abusers tactic, as per usual, was to overwhelm me with fear so that I wouldn’t be able to function.
My son and I left with little more than the clothes on our backs. Not once, not twice, but THREE times. Each time we were in such a state of destitution that we had no choice but to return again and again. Another tactic many abusers use- they financially break their victim so that they can’t afford leave for long.
Thanks in large part to the unending support of family who refused to let us fall through the cracks, I was finally able to leave and built a good life for myself, my son and his siblings.
It’s not lost on me how lucky I am to have gotten away. Recently, I did my yearly google search on my abuser (yes, for safety sake, I keep tabs on him), and he is currently in state prison for kidnapping and attempted murder.
I’ve spent the last 12 years healing. I still have night terrors sometimes. Admittedly, I still have trauma responses to random happenings and things that wouldn’t affect other people. I also still smile, and laugh and work to brighten the days of the people around me. And, throughout this entire journey I’ve come to realize that my path, while dark and filled with thorns, was meant to light the way for others who are stuck in domestic violence.
I share my story every once in a while because I know that someone on my friends list needs to hear it… maybe a few of you. In fact, national statistics suggest that 1.2 million women and 700,000 men experience instances of physical domestic violence each year, and 61 million women and 53 million men experience psychological aggression by an intimate partner in their lifetime.
I refuse to let what happened to me define me or my existence in any way that would harm me. I vowed to never allow my abuser to steal away my joy again and that I would always work to put myself in a position to be able to be beacon of light and strength for others who have experienced or who are currently experiencing DV.
That’s why, after alllll this time, I am so excited to announce that in the coming weeks my wellness studio, Renewed Intuitive Wellness, will have a non profit thrift store within the studio location called Renewed Thrift. All proceeds of the store will go toward helping those experiencing domestic violence. Whether they’re needing essentials to get started in a new space, or funds to be able to afford to leave their abuser, get legal aid, assist with therapeutic services, or purchase a security system for extra protection, our non profit, Renewed, will be able to provide that.
Someone told me today that the work the studio is doing for DV survivors will positively change families for generations upon generations. Maybe, who knows 🤷🏼♀️.
The one thing that I know for sure is that I’ll be needing some help from my friends. So, as you’re starting your spring cleaning and thinking of clearing clutter, might I suggest donating it to Renewed thrift? I promise it will be put in the hands of someone who needs it.
Also, I would like to host a BIG fundraiser to kick off our scholarship fund which is what will be used to help survivors thrive in their new realities as they heal. If you have any ideas or know of any organizations who might like to help, don’t hesitate to reach out to throw ideas at me!
And if you’ve read this far- holy crap, you’re awesome. 🙌🏻
