http://www.rootsandbranchescounseling.com/

Roots & Branches Counseling, Bend, OR (2026)

01/27/2021

When did rest become an indulgence instead of a necessity, for you?

Maybe it was your family’s modeling, maybe it was a capitalistic society, maybe it was a culture that rewards you for hustling hard every day, maybe it was messaging that you are not good enough unless you are giving all of yourself all the time, maybe it was religiously or spiritually motivated, or maybe you just adopted or absorbed this pace of life out of seemingly nowhere.

Wherever you learned it, take this moment to ask yourself, “when was the last time I rested?” “when was the last time I gave myself permission to do “nothing’”. “ when did I last practice being unproductive on purpose?”

If your answer to any of those questions is “it’s been a long time”, then ask yourself what has gotten in your way of the sacred and necessary practice of rest. Why does rest feel indulgent? Why do I feel guilt if I am not productive? Why do I feel restless if I slow down? Why am I highly uncomfortable at the prospect of doing “nothing”? Why does stopping to take time for myself cause me anxiety? What am I afraid will happen if I rest? Who is blaming me for not being good enough if I slow down? What fears do I have about resting?

then practice reciting to yourself: “rest is a necessity not an indulgence”.

01/26/2021

A big welcome to Phil Viebeck, LCSW, set to join Roots & Branches Counseling in March! So excited to expand our reach of mental health therapy in the community, especially after the past year and the continued immense need here in Central Oregon.

Phil comes with experience working for Deschutes County Behavioral health for almost 4 years and additional mental health experiences prior to that in New Jersey where he completed his dual Masters degrees.

He loves digging in to the therapy process with his clients and is excited for what the change in work setting will allow him to provide those he works with, whether they are adjusting to life changes, struggling with anxiety, or working to heal from complex trauma.

01/26/2021

I often find myself asking my clients to think about who they would respond to or talk to or care for a child who is scared, or angry, or alone, or who made a mistake, or who is acting out for attention, etc. the responses I tend to get, from those who had an attuned parent figure in their life, are responses of empathy, presence and grace. For those who did not get a foundation of a healthy parent figure, I am sometimes met with blank stares and use this as an opportunity to build a template of what a healthy parent could have and should have been like.

What I find across the board is that the way people treat their adults selves does not look at all like how they would ideally and healthily respond to a struggling child. I hear lots of shame, self punishment and loathing, guilt inducing self talk and calls to never rest and statements that strip worthiness.

But when I hear how one would respond to a child and hear statements of empathy, grace, support, it leaves me with the question - “if you have those same feelings now, those same feelings of fear or anger or sadness or guilt, why is your response to you as an adult so much different, so much harsher, than how you would respond to those exact same feelings in a younger person?”

In other words, how would you calm, nurture, protect a small being so it could feel completely secure, safe and valid in their world? And how do you also extend that to yourself?

01/26/2021

There are so many things I love about Amanda’s poem “The Hill we Climb”, but the final line has gems so applicable to our human resilience and capacity to heal.

First, it takes great bravery to find light because it requires wading through darkness. It may be a candle flame or a blazing sun but light is only light because it’s contrasted with the dark. Resilient people know that darkness.

Secondly, finding light is one part of the reconstruction of hope, but being, embodying, physically and and viscerally living in a way that creates change in self and surroundings is where the real healing happens.

Find that light, and absorb it, ingest it, embody it - that is the truest and most vulnerable act of bravery.

06/02/2020

Listen. Hear. Open yourself. When you feel discomfort, defensiveness, or denial- notice it. Breathe through it. You CAN handle it. Because we CAN breathe.

Hear their voices:
cargle
thema

marielbuque informed.selfhealing

msrd

.
Comment below if you have more voices we need to hear and amplify.

06/02/2020

I would like to think that this is only figurative. But as we continue to witness, it is quite literal.

Silence has so much power. It is suffocating. When we experience a trauma and cannot use our voice for fear of repercussions or not being believed, that sucks the power from us and gives it to the one who inflicted it. .
I see empowerment come back when people speak their silence, their truth, their story, out loud. I see this with survivors of childhood abuse, sexual assault and harassment, on personal scales and on collective community or global scales.
Now, think about the ways that BIPOC voices have been silenced, muted, not believed, even demonized. Think about the way they have tried and tried for hundreds of years to verbalize and speak their truth and it falls onto deaf ears. Or ears that hear but then say and do nothing. .
Those who knowingly and unknowingly benefit from white supremacy have so much power that the demands for justice from BIPOC are yet to be fully heard and actualized. For people in power, to be silent functions to silence the voices of BIPOC. Which is further traumatizing to people who are struggling to have their voices heard and to breathe.
Silence is suffocating. It is suffocating to the one who survives sexual abuse and doesn’t tell anyone, and it is suffocating to the collective black humanity who has been traumatized for generations while those in power are not listening, and/or not breaking the silence and speaking out against the systems that perpetuate trauma.

05/15/2020

Thrilled to announce that Roots & Branches Counseling has a new full time office space! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Here is a sneak preview 😍⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Just wait until you see the views from up there... a panoramic view of the river, park and trees is an extra dose of goodness for anyone!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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05/07/2020

Safety is a fundamental human need; physical safety, emotional safety, mental safety, health safety... When we experience unsafe people, it pushes us into a survival mode which impacts us not just mentally, but throughout our entire body. Chronic health issues and pain are often a result along with anxiety, depression and PTSD symptoms.
Finding and creating safe connections with people, sometimes for the first time, helps to re-wire our neurobiology. And this also helps us understand why early developmental experiences of interpersonal unsafety and trauma impact our neurobiology and change the way we function.
This is also another reason why the connection with your therapist needs to feel like a safe one where trust is built- that relationship can function as part of the healing process in and of itself, along with finding ways to find and create safe relationships in the rest of your life.
To quote Thomas Merton, It is the power of personal relationship that changes everything.

05/06/2020

Sometimes just the mere act of stopping, noticing your breath, feeling your body move with the inhale and the exhale, brings awareness back to the present and reunites your mind to the body.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Breathe in through your nose, watch your belly extend, notice the fullness in your lungs, and breathe out through your nose slowly, as if you’re just letting the air leak out. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Just notice. Noticing is simple. But when we notice things we have some control over, we regain a sense of empowerment. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

05/03/2020

Sometimes the only person keeping us from meeting our needs is ourself. “Today, I give myself permission to...”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.. “rest”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.. “have fun”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.. “be unproductive⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.. “relax”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.. “take care of myself”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.. “own my emotions”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.. “say no”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.. “set boundaries”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.. “focus on myself”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.. “take a break”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.. “feel what I feel”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.. “be vulnerable”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.. “be bold”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.. “let go”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.. “not have it all together”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.. “not know the answer”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.. “change”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.. “grow”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.. “ask for help”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.. “_____”.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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05/03/2020

This statement is so powerful, and I can find no better words to convey the meaning here. I often talk to my clients about the difference between interpersonal boundaries, personal boundaries, and internal boundaries. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Interpersonal boundaries are between two or more people. Example are saying “No, I prefer not to do that”, or “I deserve to be treated respectfully, and if you cannot do that I am going to leave this interaction”, etc. Personal boundaries are the limits we set on ourselves like, “I don’t go to bars because that’s a slippery slope for me due to my past addiction”, or “Fridays mornings are my me-time and I don’t schedule things over it.”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
Internal boundaries take more self awareness to discover, but they they tend to create protection, strength and a buffer against things that have the potential to make a big emotional impact on our well being. Internal boundaries are things like “I will not take responsibility for that other person’s reaction to something that upsets them” or “When someone else demeans me, I do not have to believe that it is true or that I deserve it”. In other words “No one can make me feel inferior, because I don’t have to let their attempts to put me down become my truth.”⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
I say all this, also wanting to validate those who truly struggle with boundaries of any kind, but particularly internal boundaries, because often these boundaries are lacking because we have learned from our attachment figures, parents and consistent life patterns that absorbing others emotions, being responsible for other people’s happiness, taking abusive behavior as truth, etc, are normal. This may be normal for many, but it is not health. So working toward finding ways to build up your own internal boundaries will empower you to only take in the things that have the emotional impact you WANT and consent to.

05/03/2020

If you grew up focused on making sure everyone else was okay, and never having time for yourself, it takes learning and new experiences to provide yourself with your own self care and boundaries.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If you grew up without a voice because it was unsafe or shaming to speak your truth, it takes learning and new experiences to allow yourself permission to have a voice as an adult.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If you grew up without any sign of affection of comfort, it takes learning and new experiences to know what this can look like, feel like and to find people who show love in an honest and comforting way.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If you grew up always questioning if you would be okay the next day due to violence, financial and food insecurities, or other threats to safety, it takes learning and new experiences to recognize that you do not always need to be scanning the world for danger and focused on survival.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If you grew up being demeaned by a parent, it takes learning and new experiences to be able to speak to yourself with kindness and empowerment. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If you grew up being shamed, it takes learning and new experiences to be vulnerable without fear.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If you grew up believing that you have to be productive to be valuable, it takes learning and new experiences to realize you have worth even in resting. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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If you grew up with unmet needs, it takes learning and new experiences to re-write your future narrative, believe that you deserve to have your needs met, and actively find healthy ways to meet your needs. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

Roots & Branches Counseling

01/27/2021

01/26/2021

01/26/2021

01/26/2021

06/02/2020

06/02/2020

05/15/2020

05/07/2020

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05/03/2020

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