Shannon Kearney, Marriage Family Therapist

12/04/2023

This is a repost of mine, however I think it is important to remember..........

This time of year can be joyous for some people and sad for others. The Holiday Season is all around us and it can create a multitude of emotions. I have had clients repeatedly tell me how stressful this time of year is for them.
For many people, the Holidays are a difficult time. Many people don't realize what others are struggling with. A family may have a service member overseas or an elderly person may not have any surviving family left. Families may not have money to buy their children gifts. This is also a time when we miss loved ones who are no longer with us. Perhaps someone cannot afford a plane ticket to fly home and be with their loved ones.
How can we dissolve some of this stress and expectations for ourselves? I love a quote from Albert Ellis, one of the founders of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT.) Ellis (1913-2007) used to use the phrase, "I will not SHOULD on myself!" I love this. His point was, that we "should" not create self imposed absolutes for ourselves.
Instead, what if we were to ask ourselves, "What feels good for me right now?" We don't HAVE to buy presents, We don't HAVE to see certain people we don't want to see. We don't HAVE to make elaborate dinners. We don't HAVE to put up Holiday lights. We are allowed to do and feel as we wish. A reminder that it is ok to.... just BE. Peace.

11/17/2022

If this doesn’t make you smile I don’t know what will

09/23/2022

Ok, I need to pick this baton up and run with it again...I got the papers to start a Chapter of Veterans for Peace here in Bend, Oregon. I am going to need 10 Veterans in this area to sign the papers, give me copies of their DD214’s, and then I can mail them all into the headquarters. Please message me if you are interested. VFP was started by Vietnam Veterans to have a group/ voice in expressing opposition to War, as the answer.

This is Veterans for Peace’s Mission Statement, "We draw on our personal experiences and perspectives gained as veterans to raise public awareness of the true costs and consequences of militarism and war - and to seek peaceful, effective alternatives."

I believe this would be a great addition to Bend, to offer our Veterans a place to come together, heal, advocate for Peace, etc. If you know a Veteran who would like to sign my paper and bring this Chapter here, please pass this on to them. Also, feel free to share this post. I am looking forward to adding one more place for our esteemed and valued Veterans to be seen and heard.

Thank you so much to all who joined us for our 2022 Online Convention! We are overjoyed with how everything went, and we hope you enjoyed yourself!

09/22/2022

10/12/2020

Safe + Strong Helpline (FOR OREGON RESIDENTS)
1-800-923-HELP (4357)
Help is free and available 24/7. Language interpreters are available.
Safe + Strong Helpline, in partnership with the Oregon Health Authority, is an emotional support and resource referral line that can assist anyone who is struggling and seeking support. Callers do not need to be in a crisis to contact this line.
Many of us are juggling concerns about wildfires and smoke, COVID-19, political unrest, financial instability, and more, in addition to the everyday things we personally struggle with.
Disasters can leave us feeling increased anxiety, worry, anger, or depression. In these challenging times, we provide emotional support, mental health triage, drug and alcohol counseling, or just connection with a person who cares.
If you or a loved one is feeling worried, upset, or overwhelmed, give us a call. Our call counselor will listen, assess your needs, and problem-solve with referral to community services and resources if needed.
If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, please call the Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

03/25/2020

This is a good visual for practicing guided relaxation (breathing.) GIve it a try.

03/19/2020

The live cam of the Jellyfish is so soothing. 😊

Sea otters, sharks, jelly fish on live webcams at Monterey Bay Aquarium offer diversions to home-bound workers and students during coronavirus outbreak.

03/19/2020

Pajamas and Pets

In life, flexibility is important. Because of the COVID Virus, I have been having client sessions on the computer instead of meeting in my office. The transition has been seamless. People have been able to meet in their pajamas and I have gotten to "meet" their four legged family members who cruise by or are part of the session. :) You may also catch a glimpse of one of my two Orange Tabbies, who like to say hello to the camera sometimes. We will get through this....take good care. Shannon

03/11/2020

"Children's Only Three Jobs"

We are currently experiencing some challenging times in America. Not only are adults expressing concern with the Political environment and the recent spread of Coronavirus. I have seen an increase in the number of children who are being brought to my office as parents describe anxious and hypervigilant children. Children are often like a tuning fork in that they pick up disharmony and/or imbalance in a family. As I have been trained in Family Systems, I view the child's discomfort as a manifestation of the family not working optimally. The child is not the "one with the problem," rather, they are showing symtoms of something wrong in the bigger family picture.

As more children are showing signs of distress and anxiety, I believe that now, more than ever, we need to be their Secure Base and place of comfort and reassurance in this unpredictable environment. I believe that it is important to remind children that they are children and that it is not their job to worry about adult topics and issues. It is imperative that we explain to them that the adults are here to worry about the adult things that are going on.

I believe it is important to explain to children that they ONLY HAVE THREE JOBS IN LIFE!

Those jobs are.....

1. Listening to your parents or caregivers and doing what they ask of you (i.e., chores, homework, being kind to siblings.)

2. Listening, following instructions, and doing your best in school (i.e., paying attention, participating, and listening to ones teacher.)

3. LASTLY.....Having fun and playing!!!!

Those are children's ONLY jobs. Let's remind them that the adults are watching out for them and they only need to do their three jobs.

Found on Google from newsroom.uhc.com

12/22/2019

Holiday gatherings of family and friends give parents a special chance to teach their daughters an empowering lesson: you don't owe anyone your physical affection. To read more from experts on why this matters, especially for girls, visit https://www.amightygirl.com/blog?p=21616

To start teaching children -- girls and boys alike -- from a young age about the need to respect others and their personal boundaries, we highly recommend "Let's Talk About Body Boundaries, Consent and Respect" for ages 4 to 7 (https://www.amightygirl.com/body-boundaries) and "My Body! What I Say Goes!" for ages 3 to 7 (https://www.amightygirl.com/my-body)

Thanks to Safe kids, thriving families for sharing this image!

12/20/2019

I was interviewed for this article in our local paper.

Local therapists discuss dealing with family, expectations and other challenging holiday situations

12/18/2019

National Su***de Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-TALK (8255): Su***de hotline, 24/7 free and confidential, nationwide network of crisis centers

12/17/2019

What do The Holidays mean for you? How do you spend this time of year?