07/12/2025
THIS!!
PARENTING IS HARDER THAN ITS EVER BEEN and i'll die on this little hill of mine.
The reason? This screen you're looking at.
Hear me out, older generations.
I'm a pediatrician who has been talking to parents in person and online for over 15 years. I can confidently tell you that parents have never felt as confused, worried, frustrated, angry, or hopeless as they have in the past decade.
Here are some reasons why social media (a platform I use all the time as a mom and an online educator so no judgement here, booboo) is causing parents to feel this way:
1) THE CATASTROPHE CONUNDRUM
The human brain is not capable of processing constant and repetitive information about catastrophes. You were never meant to know about *flailing arms around* all of this.
Your mind as a parent is fragile and always calculating. Every decision you make for your kids involves weighing risks and benefits, right?
If you see constant scary feedback about things that are relatively low-risk, your mind is going to suffer with these everyday choices.
"Child dies by a fallen tree branch!"
"Child dies while swimming at beach!"
"Child dies after eating grapes!"
(these are actual real headlines I just Googled)
YES these stories serve as warnings, and you should always heed good safety advice from professionals.
But my heart aches for today's parents. You're a tennis ball, constantly being slammed from all sides, merely trying to sit still and make the best decisions for your kid.
It's no wonder nothing natural to the childhood experience feels safe anymore.
This generation of parents has more "what if's" on their plate than ever before.
2) THE MISINFORMATION SH*TSTORM
You know how I feel about this.
This is why i write on this platform. And have for over 10 years.
If you ever watch my instagram stories, you'll know over the past decade I've pulled out this aging lady hair of mine because of the utter deluge of garbage"medical information" online.
Like that TikTok: "These 14 (completely normal) baby behaviors absolutely means your child has brain damage/autism/lyme disease!" that has over 3 million views.
That's 3 million parents lying awake worrying at night.
When it comes to medical trust and medical information, we are sinking as a society.
We are sinking.
It's no wonder parents come to me begging for answers about vaccines, medications, and illnesses. They see such conflicting stories online.
ANYONE CAN WRITE ANYTHING ON THE INTERNET.
ANY INFLUENCER CAN CHERRY-PICK ANY (CRAPPY) MEDICAL STUDY TO SUPPORT AN ARGUMENT. And unless you have advanced education in statistics and science, knowing what is real, valuable, good data (and what isn't) is utterly impossible sometimes.
My advice? Ask the people you know and trust - in person. Ask your doctor. It's literally our job to give you the best advice we can with the knowledge we carry. I get no extra payment for walking you through a difficult medical decision. I get no bonus for giving you my two cents, and i often will tell you what I did for my own kids. I review and interpret studies for parents literally every week.
3) KEEPING UP WITH THE INSTA-JONESES
I promise you that Mama Earth Turmeric Raw Milk Rope Sandals puts on the same Bluey Youtube videos that you do in my office just to get in a few undisturbed words with me.
Social media is fake.
Parenting documentation on social media is planned, curated, and distributed in order to make a profit.
Parents in the 80s and 90s looked across the yard to see what new toy the neighbor bought their kids.
You? You have thousands of videos forced in your face daily thanks to an algorithm that makes you feel sh*tty if you don't make all-natural guava fruit roll-ups for your kids, or breastfeed for 52 months, or interact with them nonstop during playtime, or let them watch that princess movie once and awhile.
Please. If you're feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and confused by your parenting experience, consider turning off your phone for a few minutes or a few months. Give yourself the gift of introspection and enjoyment of intuitive parenting without interruption.
*deep breathing* okay. I'll step off my soapbox now.
Here's a picture of me, child-free in my twenties, trying to learn how to take a timed photo with my new camera somewhere on the California coast (and without an Instagram or TikTok account to pull me down...)
Hugs.
DA
