07/27/2025
I very much hesitated in making this post but I felt like it was important, especially if someone were to see me in public after I’ve been very public about my alcohol sobriety.
I made a decision this year to add alcohol back into my life. I didn’t do this lightly but felt like I was in a great space in my life with friends, therapy, nervous system regulation and a safe and healthy partner.
Here’s what I’ve learned so far.
1) drinking alcohol when my nervous system isn’t regulated is like throwing gasoline on a fire. I see a huge difference in my life now vs previously when it comes to regulation and alcoholism consumption
2) if I’m having a high anxiety day and I add alcohol to it, it makes my anxiety go even higher. It definitely messes with my sleep which messes with my nervous system.
3) having co regulators around you help if you drink. It’s not a great idea for me to drink around people who stress me out. 😂
4) my therapist has worked with me on not telling my story to people who haven’t earned the right to hear it. It’s a privilege to know people’s stories. So I sat on this for a while but felt like I needed to share in case someone saw my out in public drinking a beer or a glass of wine. I feel like I have a responsibility to be transparent in things that I have publicly advocated for.
5) do I feel like alcohol has added positively to my life now that I’ve let it back in? No. But I am glad I can discern why I’m drinking now vs when I used to drink everyday in the past. I also enjoy being able to cheers a glass with my friend at the pool and celebrate with my partner. Does it have to be alcohol to celebrate? Also no. And I’m glad that everyone around me would not bat an eye if I opted for sparkling water vs sparkling wine to celebrate with them.
So cheers 🥂 to healing and learning. Will I be sober again in the future? Probably, at least for times in my life where I need to reset or need more regulation. Do I feel like I NEED alcohol anymore? No and that’s the biggest lesson I’ve learned.