Caregiver for the elderly

02/25/2024

THANK YOU so much for all the birthday wishes!!! I truly feel the love!

01/19/2024

08/25/2023

A letter from an elderly woman from a nursing home.
I am 82 years old, I have 4 children, 11 grandchildren, 2 great-grandchildren and a room of 12 square meters.
I no longer have a home or expensive things, but I have someone who will clean my room, prepare food and bedding, measure my pressures and weigh me.
I no longer have the laughter of my grandchildren, I don't see them growing, hugging and arguing. Some come to me every 15 days, some every three or four months, and some never.
I no longer work in the winter, I don't bake cakes, I don't dig up the garden. I still have hobbies and I like to read, but my eyes quickly hurt.
I don’t know how much longer, but I have to get used to this loneliness. Here at home, I lead group work and help those who are worse than me as much as I can. Until recently, I read aloud to an immobile woman in the room next to me, we used to sing together, but she died the other day.
They say life is getting longer. Why? When I’m alone, I can look at photos of my family and memories I brought from home. And that's all.
I hope that the next generations will understand that families are born to have a future (with children) and that they do not forget about the family even in old age.
Please don't show this to my children.
Grandma Maria loves you. 👵🏻❤️

07/27/2023

I’ve always wanted, very much, to be that woman.
The old one, with the hair like silver that seems to radiate its very own source of light.
The one with the knowing smile that hints at humor ever-present and a life that’s been full of belly laughter.
The woman with the deep lines in her weathered skin, lines etched out by adventure, by joy, by fear, and by growth.
I imagined how I’d float rather than walk because I no longer bear the weight of the world on my shoulders and I marveled at how my days would be full to the brim with resting and noticing the world around me.
I would not care for thoughts of guilt because by then I would have learned that resting is doing, and is very important indeed.
There I would be reading, gardening, eating food I had grown, and passing my little nuggets of wisdom down, to anyone who wanted to listen.
The contented crone.
The final phase of the journey of womanity.
No chasing youth for me,
I will be languishing, loudly, in the joy of my age and my luck at having got so far.
I’ve always wanted, very much, to be that woman.
Join me, if you like.
Donna Ashworth

Photographer, Jonnas Peterson

07/26/2023

When my mom was cleaning out her house over 23 years ago to sell it, I wasn't very sympathetic over her attachments to things. I would go over on weekends to help her and we would go through things, things for a yard sale, things to donate, things to throw away. I would usually get upset over how long it was taking her to decide. For instance, we were going through kitchen cabinets and she spent 20 minutes looking at an iron kettle with a lid. Finally I said,

“Mom, at this rate it is going to take us another 2 years.”

She told me that her mother used to make meals in that kettle and leave them at doorsteps of neighbors during the depression, mom would deliver them, and then they would reappear back to her with an apron, or a wood carving, something in return for the meal. I realized that everything that my mom was going through was really a reliving of her life.

If you are reading this and are under the age of 60, you wont get it. You haven't lived long enough. Most of you have not had to move your parents into a nursing home, or emptied their home. You haven't lived long enough to realize that the hours you spend picking out the right cabinets, or the perfect tile will not be what matters in the later years. It will be the handmade toothbrush holder, or a picture that you got on vacation.

So, if your parents are downsizing, and moving to smaller places, or selling a home, give your mom and even your dad a break. Those things that you don't understand why they can’t just pitch, and why you think you know what needs to be tossed or saved, give them a little time to make their decisions. They are saying goodbye to their past, and realizing that they are getting ready for their end of life, while you are beginning your life.

As I have been going through things, its amazing just how hard it is to get rid of objects. But, life goes on, and you realize they are just things, but sometimes things comfort us. So give your parents or grandmparents a break. Listen to their stories, because in 40 years, when you are going through those boxes and the memories come back, it will be hard to get rid of those plastic champagne flutes that you and your late husband used at a New Years party 40 years ago. You will think nothing of the tile or the light fixtures that were so important then.

As happy as they are for you, and as much as they love you, you just don't have a clue until it happens to you and then you will remember how you rushed them, and it will make you sad, especially if they are already gone and you cant say I’m sorry, I didn’t get it.

~ Original Post Melissa Vaughan