Caregiver for the elderly

02/25/2024

THANK YOU so much for all the birthday wishes!!! I truly feel the love!

01/19/2024

08/25/2023

A letter from an elderly woman from a nursing home.
I am 82 years old, I have 4 children, 11 grandchildren, 2 great-grandchildren and a room of 12 square meters.
I no longer have a home or expensive things, but I have someone who will clean my room, prepare food and bedding, measure my pressures and weigh me.
I no longer have the laughter of my grandchildren, I don't see them growing, hugging and arguing. Some come to me every 15 days, some every three or four months, and some never.
I no longer work in the winter, I don't bake cakes, I don't dig up the garden. I still have hobbies and I like to read, but my eyes quickly hurt.
I don’t know how much longer, but I have to get used to this loneliness. Here at home, I lead group work and help those who are worse than me as much as I can. Until recently, I read aloud to an immobile woman in the room next to me, we used to sing together, but she died the other day.
They say life is getting longer. Why? When I’m alone, I can look at photos of my family and memories I brought from home. And that's all.
I hope that the next generations will understand that families are born to have a future (with children) and that they do not forget about the family even in old age.
Please don't show this to my children.
Grandma Maria loves you. 👵🏻❤️

07/27/2023

I’ve always wanted, very much, to be that woman.
The old one, with the hair like silver that seems to radiate its very own source of light.
The one with the knowing smile that hints at humor ever-present and a life that’s been full of belly laughter.
The woman with the deep lines in her weathered skin, lines etched out by adventure, by joy, by fear, and by growth.
I imagined how I’d float rather than walk because I no longer bear the weight of the world on my shoulders and I marveled at how my days would be full to the brim with resting and noticing the world around me.
I would not care for thoughts of guilt because by then I would have learned that resting is doing, and is very important indeed.
There I would be reading, gardening, eating food I had grown, and passing my little nuggets of wisdom down, to anyone who wanted to listen.
The contented crone.
The final phase of the journey of womanity.
No chasing youth for me,
I will be languishing, loudly, in the joy of my age and my luck at having got so far.
I’ve always wanted, very much, to be that woman.
Join me, if you like.
Donna Ashworth

Photographer, Jonnas Peterson

03/16/2023

● If I get dementia, I want my friends and family to embrace my reality. If I think my spouse is still alive, or if I think we’re visiting my parents for dinner, let me believe those things. I’ll be much happier for it.
● If I get dementia, don’t argue with me about what is true for me versus what is true for you.
● If I get dementia, and I am not sure who you are, do not take it personally. My timeline is confusing to me.
● If I get dementia, and can no longer use utensils, do not start feeding me. Instead, switch me to a finger-food diet, and see if I can still feed myself.
● If I get dementia, and I am sad or anxious, hold my hand and listen. Do not tell me that my feelings are unfounded.
● If I get dementia, I don’t want to be treated like a child. Talk to me like the adult that I am.
● If I get dementia, I still want to enjoy the things that I’ve always enjoyed. Help me find a way to exercise, read, and visit with friends.
● If I get dementia, ask me to tell you a story from my past.
● If I get dementia, and I become agitated, take the time to figure out what is bothering me.
● If I get dementia, treat me the way that you would want to be treated.
● If I get dementia, make sure that there are plenty of snacks for me in the house. Even know if I don’t eat I get angry, and if I have dementia, I may have trouble explaining what I need.
● If I get dementia, don’t talk about me as if I’m not in the room.
● If I get dementia, don’t feel guilty if you cannot care for me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. It’s not your fault, and you’ve done your best. Find someone who can help you, or choose a great new place for me to live.
● If I get dementia, and I live in a dementia care community, please visit me often.
● If I get dementia, don’t act frustrated if I mix up names, events, or places. Take a deep breath. It’s not my fault.
● If I get dementia, make sure I always have my favorite music playing within earshot.
● If I get dementia, and I like to pick up items and carry them around, help me return those items to their original place.
● If I get dementia, don’t exclude me from parties and family gatherings.
● If I get dementia, know that I still like receiving hugs or handshakes.
● If I get dementia, remember that I am still the person you know and love.

ᴄᴏᴘʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴘᴀsᴛᴇ in Honor of someone you know or knew who has dementia. In Honor of all those I know and love and lost who are fighting Dementia/Alzheimer’s.

10/20/2022

My heart is Heavy! Frontotemporal Dementia...
One of the hardest things to process is the slow change in the one you love. Becoming a completely different person. Everything changes.
Just so you know...😢 It’s called the long goodbye. Rapidly shrinking brain is how a doctor described it. As the patient's brain slowly dies, they change physically and eventually forget who their loved ones are and become less themselves.
Patients can eventually become bedridden, unable to move and unable to eat or drink or talk to their loved ones.
There will be people who will scroll by this message because Dementia or Alzheimer's has not touched them. They may not know what it's like to have a loved one who has fought or is fighting a battle against Dementia or Alzheimer's.
In an effort to raise awareness of this cruel disease, I would like to see at least 5 of my friends put this on their timeline.
I'll settle for at least 1.