12/21/2022
We are officially in the heart of the Holiday’s when many of us start the feel the frenzy of the season. This might include work or personal Holidays parties, traveling, negotiating various family gatherings, or perhaps noticing and recognizing the isolation you are feeling without places to go, people to see. Ordinary Loneliness can become amplified. Whatever you may be dealing with during this Holiday season, connecting to yourself to settle your emotional world can support you. In today’s newsletter, I will offer 3 tools that can support you over the coming weeks to both calm your nervous system and allow you to make choices about how you enter into this time period in a way that feels nourishing to you.
1. Slow Down. This will mean different things for different people and there are many ways to apply it, but in essence, slow down in every way you can. Winter is a natural time for hibernation, which is partly why the holiday time can feel nourishing, if we allow it to. It is often cold, requiring our bodies to bundle and be cozy inside. Take advantage of that and cozy up. This can also simply be a practice of slowing your actions day to day. If you are at work, perhaps take the opportunity to slow the pace of your work, just a little, and notice how that feels. Perhaps slow down as you complete tasks at home, and notice how that feels. As you are out and about in the world, try slowing down as you drive, or you walk. A simple slowing can do wonders for our nervous systems, for stress that we hold in our bodies, and can create opportunities to connect with those around us more intentionally. Slowing down can start with our breath. Just noticing our breath, or intentionally slowing our breathing for a moment or two. Try breathing intentionally.
2. Resource yourself. This next step is more possible once you have been able to slow down, even if only a little. There are many ways to resource ourselves. The basic concept is to do what rejuvenates us, do what nourishes us. For some, that is exercise, journalling, or being in nature, doing yoga, or putting together puzzles, perhaps gardening or meditation. It is whatever fills us up, whatever helps us feel more like YOU and overall more connected to what is true for you. On that note, I am sharing a Resourcing Meditation below. Feel free to use this daily throughout the holiday season to remind yourself of your value and your inner wisdom.
3. Set Boundaries. This step is made more possible once you have spent some time with the first two. Boundaries are golden during the Holidays and only YOU know what your own boundaries are. However, they can be confusing and not always clear, which is why it helps to first slow down, then to connect with yourself a bit so that your own boundaries become more clear to you, reveal themselves, in a way. Boundaries do not have to mean NO. Boundaries can mean YES. Yes to what will nourish you, and thereby benefitting everyone around you as a result. There are both small and larger ways to set boundaries for yourself. Just to use this Holiday season as an example, let’s say that there is a work Holiday party that if you had every choice in the world, you’d much rather skip, but it feels necessary for your job. It may not be appropriate to skip the party altogether, but that does not mean you can not have any boundaries! Consider what about the party sounds hard, or unappealing to you. Then consider what small actions might support you to experience these elements as less hard. Let’s say that socializing exhausts you. Perhaps your boundary is to commit to yourself that you will take a break every 30 min during the party. To step outside, or into the bathroom and slow down, resource yourself, take some breaths. Alternatively it may be appropriate for you to skip the party altogether, whether it is a work, social or family gathering. Only YOU know what the appropriate boundary is for YOU. Perhaps for you, the first step is just even considering that you have the ability to set boundaries at all, so this Holiday season maybe just sit with that.
I hope these resources feel helpful for you during this time. Listen to this meditation as many times as feels needed this month and beyond.
