I have been surrounded by Mental Health since the age of 4 years old. At such a young age I had already discovered what at 51/50 or 52/50 was, I knew was ECT was, I knew where fearing for survival was. Noone wanted to "help" me, they wanted to hold me against my will, push medications, and make me believe in things that were not adventitious to my current state of mind. The doctors that were there, did they know what it was like to have GAD, PTSD, Addiction, Reoccurring Depression, Major Depressive Disorder, or ADHD??? It was simply being read from a textbook and schooling without the life experience. I was not a textbook, I was not a pharmaceutical experiment, i was not a DSM code, I was a real human desperate for help! When I was first diagnosed with MH "issues" I had no idea what it meant or what to think about it. All I knew I was different, and no one would want to be friends with me. I struggled for many years in and out of hospitals, su***de attempts, addictions, anger, resentments, and everything that fit in the table contents of MH. In years to come, I lost friends, colleagues, recovering addicts, and eventually my father to the illness of leaving earth by their own misunderstood hands. It took me years to realize that I did not need "awareness", I needed someone that would understand me. I didn't know what that looked like or what that meant, but I was desperate for something or someone. The su***de and addictions continued and felt the only way to escape this trapped mind was DEATH! As I got older and met people that were, "like me" I knew there was hope! I was judged, teased, told to kill myself, I was a thorn in everyone's side, I would never get better, and basically any negative "support" that was out there. I am not here to push awareness; I am here to support and start discussions with peers from any realm of the world. This is a page of understanding and cutting that stigma from what are true feelings. Welcome to all and I am so happy you are here!
