Eileen Drapiza-Dornan, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

11/05/2023

Seems there is a lesson in this: what we perceive as therapists sitting with our clients is likely influenced by what we understand (or think we understand) of their context. What if background color represents cultural context/intersectionality?

07/23/2022

The textbook will feature lessons on AAPI history and culture designed for high school students, college students and life-long learners.

07/14/2022

Do you ever find that your success makes you uncomfortable? There is this strange tension of wanting deeply to be successful, and yet when we attain it, we deflect, hide or even run from the recognition.

I’ve had to sit with this tension for months as people have offered congrats or celebration over the success of my book. It actually made my stomach queasy and uncomfortable in those moments. Instead of trying to ignore it or flippantly dismiss it, I have been chewing on this response for months.

For myself, I have noticed that success triggers deep vulnerability. Success when brought into direct, surface level conversation or awareness feels very exposing. I realize not everyone has this kind of response, but it made me wonder where and how this perception developed. The feeling that success, when acknowledge by others, almost makes me feel unsafe, exposed, or vulnerable. Sensations that I actively avoid. No wonder success can make me feel so much discomfort.

This led me to question, “Why?” From what I have surmised so far, I have realized that success is the other side of the coin of failure. When I can feel and touch success within my grasp, it also feels like failure or a “falling” from success is also possible. It is much more comfortable to exist in the mediocre, ambiguous zone of being neither a success nor a failure. That space I can live in without being triggered. It is also the space that my parents encouraged me to live within - successful, but not too visible. A safe space for an Asian American woman like me.

As people of color, we risk greatly in order to exist authentically in spaces. This authenticity often exacts a price on us and often it feels safer to hide, even our successes. But if I allow myself to sit in that vulnerable space sometimes. To fully internalize and receive the recognition, I also receive the gift of truly understanding all that it took from within myself AND my community to experience success. And that is such a beautiful and humbling experience to have.

So share with us: How do you relate to success? How have you learned to embrace it? Share with us a win that you’ve had recently so we can celebrate with you! ❤️

12/17/2021

By Louis Chan, AsAmNews National Correspondent Ellisa Sun moved to Nashville from California to chase her dream of becoming a full-time musician. Instead, she found her Asian American identity. Sun marked the moment of self-discovery with a new just-released song confronting anti-Asian hate, I’m F...

12/15/2021

https://www.thecrimson.com/article/2021/12/13/wikstrom-scars-of-empire/?fbclid=IwAR0yt0i82bR--zUKSYI99Cbcf9VN8BH3e4Zm0_zYdGdc5koj1jEJrhmb9eI

Harvard’s legacy of empire and education is one haunted by loss; the instrument used to create this wound lies directly in the University’s hands. But without Harvard, I wouldn't be able to begin putting some of these pieces together.

11/08/2021

To highlight National Adoption Month, we meet Grace Shu Gerloff. She’s a transracial adoptee and third-year doctoral student at Michigan State University studying the Asian American diaspora.

11/05/2021

Efforts seen as a way to stop anti-Asian hatred in the United States

10/14/2021

Thought provoking podcast episode!

https://podcasts.apple.com/co/podcast/linda-thai-lmsw-unnameable-losses-of-adult-children/id1497467899?i=1000530942226

‎Programa Asians Do Therapy, ep. Linda Thai, LMSW. Unnameable Losses of Adult Children of Refugees - 3 de ago. de 2021

07/09/2021

What is it like to be Asian American when you’re invisible within it?

06/26/2021

Peloton instructor Emma Lovewell reflects on her journey to reckoning and reconciling with her Asian identity

06/21/2021

The group has a disproportionate number of nurses, health care workers and families living in multigenerational homes.

06/13/2021

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/articles/201905/the-biracial-advantage?fbclid=IwAR22DNBfBe0TTYH2dM6moYPYLylMjq3ykZAKHVyRwHq6CUY3kos15GIZFl8

People of mixed race occupy a unique position in the U.S. Their experiences of both advantage and challenge may reshape how all Americans perceive race.

06/03/2021

You may not be an elite tennis athlete, but setting boundaries is a hard decision you'll face at work, too.

04/25/2021

A public health scholar explores why Asian Americans in their late teens and early adulthood are at high risk for death by su***de.

03/19/2021

https://anti-asianviolenceresources.carrd.co/?fbclid=IwAR1ZmpAGObcz5SoxzJGaB9XM61oSBEtvRS6FfyhayIGUh4lYt-lnKVaNMMY

Anti-Asian racism and violent attacks on Asian elderly have only increased in recent months. Since COVID-19 became news in the United States, hate speech and violence against the AAPI community has run rampant. In February 2021, attacks, particularly on elderly Asian Americans, have spiked. Unfortun...

01/11/2021

http://eileendrapizapsychotherapy.com/.../group-for.../

Group for Asian Americans: Hyphenated No More
Monday Group starting February 1, 2021

As an Asian American, who are you really? Do you live in the hyphen between cultures, neither 100% this, not 100% that? Do you sometimes feel left out or forgotten in discussions about race? Not Black, not white. Perhaps you have ethnic pride, but it’s such a quiet pride that it means you still get overlooked. Explore the self and desires you’ve kept suppressed as a result of a lifetime of honoring your parents’ or other elder’s wishes, or because you were taught to care for others even at the expense of yourself. Maybe you are or have been good at academic achievement, but relationships are rougher-going territory. Join us as you find your voice, give and get support and encouragement, find a safe environment where you can start to take healthy risks. Gather and tell your story, share your dreams, be reflected, feel connected.

Attention will also be given to helping you notice and process your own internal sensations, helping you to better self-regulate. This will prepare you to get the most out of therapy if and when you decide to follow up with deeper individual work.

A Zoom-based group, limited to 5 people, meets weekly from 4 p.m. – 6 p.m. This Winter group begins Monday, February 1.

For registration details, visit my website, or use the link below.

I am offering free "drop-in" info meetings via a secure link on Zoom every Monday in January at 5 p.m. Email me for getting an invite/link.

http://eileendrapizapsychotherapy.com/.../group-for.../

Thank you!
Eileen Drapiza-Dornan, LMFT
eileendr....com | eileendrapizapsychotherapy.com