Amber Cooley, LMFT

06/21/2022

This!

01/07/2022

Free access to two mental health mobile apps for anyone who lives, works, or goes to school in Berkeley. Headspace and myStrength. This is a great free resource!

Previous Next Berkeley Mental Health Technology Project Berkeley is proud to be a part of the [email protected] project: a statewide collaborative of 14 counties and cities in California that share a common goal of improving the mental health of Californian’s by using technology and programs to i...

07/02/2021

Let’s Play!

“Play is the infinite testing ground for creativity.

It provides space to test new solutions. When kids play, they're exploring the world. They're looking at what works and what doesn't without having to be practical. It involves physical, cognitive, and emotional development, but it is intimately and intricately connected with creativity, daring, boldness, and risk-taking.

The importance of play doesn’t end when childhood ends. Sure, we can engage in play as adults because it’s healthy, because it releases endorphins, and so on. But that’s kind of like saying that one should have s*x because it burns calories. Just like s*x, playing as adults is about pleasure, connection, creativity, fantasy—all the juicy parts of life we savor. Play is the pleasure of being inventive, mischievous, imaginative, and trying something new.

Why do we play? Because it helps us grow—and because it’s fun.”
-Esther Perel

My monthly newsletter and workshop is meant to inspire you to reflect, act, and develop greater confidence and relational intelligence in all of your relationships. This month's theme is: Play

06/25/2021

Ego love is fear based.

We can have ego love with friends, family, or partners.

In this state we believe someone can (and should) meet all our needs. We project our unresolved trauma, try to control, + unconsciously shame ourselves.

You’ll know if a relationship is ego based if you feel drained after interactions. Or fearful to speak truths due to reactions.

Authentic love lacks conditions. You’ll feel free to express yourself + your boundaries. You feel free to clearly communicate your needs. There is mutual respect + admiration, even within conflict.

During my own awakening, I had some heartbreaking realizations around how many of my relationships were ego based. I had been practicing self witnessing + saw how my own ego had been involved. Then, I felt so much resistance connecting with these people.

I’d make excuses. Or I’d lie.

Anything to avoid seeing the relationships I had manifested. That’s important to understand: our relations mirror our conditioning + our current level of consciousness.

As we do the work, our relationships will shift. They’ll change. We may clear people from our lives + attract new people within them.

Letting go is part of our journey. Receiving new is a part of our journey.

How have your relationships changed as you do the inner work?

06/25/2021

Feeling grateful for the profound growth I get to witness in those doing the hard work! It’s all just so damn beautiful ❤️

05/20/2021

Grief is not a linear process. It can feel messy and unpredictable. Grief is not something to be fixed or a feeling you can will yourself to the other side of. It is a process that you must move through rather than around. Be gentle with yourself as you navigate these changing tides.

05/19/2021

Free offering from Esther Perel! Last day to sign up is today, 5/19. Great for singles and couples.

The Art of Foreplay is a free week-long challenge that includes 7 days of short audio messages from Esther and simple exercises to help you practice cultivating pleasure for its own sake.

03/25/2020

We are saddened to hear about the passing of beloved friend, therapist, and thinker, Dan Wile, Ph.D.

He believed that when couples had problems it was because the individuals had lost their voice and the couple had lost their connection. With that understanding, he developed Collaborative Couple Therapy.

With Dan’s vision, therapists were given the tools to speak from the heart for each individual to help express their longings, losses, fears, and desires. Therapists all over the world use Dan Wile’s techniques to step in and speak as if they are the partner in pain, so the pain can be expressed in a heartfelt way rather than as attack or blame. We affectionately call this technique “The Dan Wile."

Many have been touched by Dan's work and we are thankful to have known such an innovator in couples therapy.

03/25/2020

The coronavirus pandemic has led to a collective loss of normalcy.

03/05/2020

09/07/2019

Please feel free to pass along to your circles and to any mamas who might be interested! Thank you 🙏

There's still room in this Monday's First Time Mom's Group!

Sign up on our website:
http://then-comes-baby.com/classes/support-groups/first-time-moms-group/

07/15/2019

There’s still room in the next 6 week round of the First time Mom’s Group that I facilitate which starts Monday, July 22nd!! Please join us at Then Comes Baby in Oakland for this wonderful opportunity to make connections, build community and feel supported. Click on the link below to sign up or feel free to share this post with others who might be interested. Thanks and hope to meet you and your sweet little ones soon:)

http://then-comes-baby.com/classes/support-groups/first-time-moms-group/

Our First Time Moms Group explores the transition of becoming a parent, while connecting with other Oakland-area new moms in a cozy, baby-ready environment.

05/28/2019

I have experienced the healing, holding, and grounding power of nature my whole life. I’ve also witnessed the amazing and positive therapeutic benefit that nature and gardening has had on humans (children/teens/adults), who find themselves challenged to access a regulated and calm state of being. I have been deeply moved many, many times to witness and experience such a profound impact! Nature is medicine 🌿

https://www.brainpickings.org/2019/05/27/oliver-sacks-gardens/

“In forty years of medical practice, I have found only two types of non-pharmaceutical ‘therapy’ to be vitally important for patients with chronic neurological diseases: music and…

10/02/2018

Please pass along to any new moms out there!!! There are still a few spots left in the next New Moms Group I will be facilitating starting next Monday, October 15th at Then Comes Baby in Oakland! Please share, join, or pass along as these groups are so dear to me and they are a wonderful support to the amazing women doing the important work of mothering! ❤️

http://then-comes-baby.com/classes/support-groups/first-time-moms-group/

Our First Time Moms Group explores the transition of becoming a parent, while connecting with other Oakland-area new moms in a cozy, baby-ready environment.

05/04/2018

People start to heal the moment they feel heard.

(Image via Richard Faust Illustration)

03/04/2018

The next 2nd time Mom's Group I am facilitating will be starting on March 27th. This is a really lovely way to connect with other 2nd time mom's, gather resources, and get support as you grow your family. Then Comes Baby is a wonderful space with a lot of other amazing classes and workshops. Read more about the group below, sign up, share, and contact me with any questions!

http://then-comes-baby.com/classes/support-groups/second-time-moms-group/

02/09/2018

Came across this saying and thought it a good reminder!

“Don’t borrow trouble by worrying about what might happen”