Sheila Khaleghian, Psy.D.

12/09/2025

Repair isn’t about avoiding conflict—it’s about what happens after the rupture. Decades of relationship research show that all close relationships experience misunderstandings, hurt, and conflict. What predicts long-term health and stability is not perfection, but the willingness to take responsibility, self-reflect, and restore connection.

John Gottman’s research found that successful relationships are defined by effective repair attempts—apologies, validation, accountability, and efforts to reconnect. When repair is absent, chronic emotional distance, resentment, and insecurity build over time. From an attachment perspective, refusing repair signals emotional unavailability and threatens the sense of safety that relationships require to thrive.

Healthy relationships are not rupture-free—they are repair-rich.

📚 Research support:
• Gottman & Levenson (1992, 1999) – Repair attempts as predictors of relationship stability
• Johnson (2008) – Attachment security and emotional responsiveness
• Mikulincer & Shaver (2016) – Repair, accountability, and relational safety

Repair is not weakness. It’s emotional maturity.

12/05/2025

Depression doesn’t just affect mood—it touches every corner of life. Research shows it can disrupt sleep, concentration, energy, appetite, relationships, and even the way we interpret neutral events (Beck, 2019; Fried et al., 2020). It changes how we move through the world and how connected we feel to ourselves and others.

But it’s also highly treatable. Studies consistently find that evidence-based psychotherapy (like CBT and IPT), medication when appropriate, lifestyle changes (exercise, sleep regulation, social support), and stress-reduction practices all significantly improve outcomes (Cuijpers et al., 2023; WHO, 2021). Even small daily shifts—movement, routine, connection, asking for help—can begin to restore momentum and hope.

If you’re struggling, you’re not alone. Depression is a human experience, not a personal failure. Healing is possible, step by step, with the right support and consistent care. ❤️‍🩹

12/04/2025

We rarely talk about it, but stress is behind the majority of doctor visits—research estimates that up to 70–90% of primary care appointments are connected to stress-related conditions (Riley & King, 2009; Schneiderman et al., 2020). Chronic stress impacts the entire body: it disrupts immune function, increases inflammation, and raises the risk for heart disease, GI issues, and metabolic problems. It also affects mood, attention, communication, and emotional regulation, which means our relationships, work performance, and even longevity feel its weight (Cohen et al., 2021; Chida & Steptoe, 2008).

The good news? When we learn to manage stress—through therapy, breathwork, movement, boundaries, and restorative routines—we see measurable improvements in overall health, relationship satisfaction, productivity, and long-term wellbeing. Stress is unavoidable, but it is workable. And supporting your nervous system is one of the most powerful investments you can make in your life.

12/04/2025

Healthy relationships don’t just “work out” — they’re worked on.

In couples therapy, partners learn to slow down, listen, repair, and reconnect in ways that busy life rarely allows. Making intentional time for your relationship isn’t a luxury; it’s one of the strongest predictors of long-term satisfaction and emotional resilience.

Research consistently shows that couples who invest in their relationship experience:

• Better communication & conflict resolution — EFT and Gottman-method studies show significant improvements in emotional responsiveness and decreased negative interaction patterns (Johnson et al., 2013; Gottman & Gottman, 2019).

• Stronger attachment security — therapy helps partners feel safer, more understood, and more supported (Wiebe & Johnson, 2016).

• Reduced stress & improved mental health — partners who feel emotionally connected report lower anxiety, depression, and physiological stress markers (Overall & Eastwick, 2021).

• Greater relationship satisfaction & stability — meta-analyses show that evidence-based couples therapies consistently improve satisfaction and long-term outcomes (Carr, 2019).

When couples make time every week to nurture the relationship, they build emotional equity — the small repairs and shared meaning that protect the partnership during difficult seasons.

Prioritize each other. Schedule the conversations. Seek support when needed. Your relationship is meant to be lived in, cared for, and invested in.

12/03/2025

A safe partner isn’t defined by perfection but by emotional safety, attunement, and accountability. Research consistently shows that emotional responsiveness and validation strengthen bonding and long-term relationship satisfaction (Johnson et al., 2013; Reis & Shaver, 1988). Respect for boundaries and autonomy creates healthier connection and psychological well-being (LaGuardia et al., 2000; Deci & Ryan, 2008), while consistency between words and actions supports secure attachment and reduces anxious activation (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2016). Safe partners also engage in repair when conflict occurs—one of the strongest predictors of relationship success (Gottman & Levenson, 1992; Gottman & Silver, 1999)—and they can receive difficult feedback without collapsing into shame or defensiveness, a trait linked to stronger emotion regulation and relational stability (Gross, 2015; Overall & McNulty, 2017). Most importantly, being with a safe partner creates psychological safety: research shows that trusted partners literally calm the nervous system and reduce threat responses (Coan, Schaefer, & Davidson, 2006). A safe partner doesn’t just care for you—they help you feel secure, grounded, and fully seen.

08/27/2025

07/01/2025

💔 Feeling “off” in your relationship but can’t quite name it?

Psychologist Dr. Mark Travers says unhappy couples often say “no” to these 4 powerful questions—and don’t even realize they’re drifting apart:

1️⃣ Do you feel like you’re on the same team during conflict?

2️⃣ Can you be your most authentic self around your partner?

3️⃣ Are they genuinely curious about your inner world?

4️⃣ Do they take accountability when they mess up?

If your answer is “no” to any of these, it may be time for a deeper conversation. Sometimes we get so used to dysfunction, we mistake it for normal.

🧠 Awareness is the first step to reconnection—or clarity.

📍Save this to reflect or share with someone you care about.

05/23/2025

It’s not about the dishes. It’s about how we show up in relationships.

Psychologists have narrowed our endlessly complex personalities into five main traits, known as the Big Five (OCEAN):
• Openness
• Conscientiousness
• Extraversion
• Agreeableness
• Neuroticism

Each of us shows up differently in life and relationships based on where we land on these spectrums. But regardless of personality, there’s one emotional intelligence habit that changes everything: The Dishwasher Rule.

It’s simple:
When someone makes an effort—thank them before you critique them.

Instead of pointing out that your partner loaded the dishwasher “wrong,” say, “Thank you for doing the dishes.”

In that moment, you’re not just acknowledging a chore—you’re affirming someone’s effort, presence, and intention.

The rule applies far beyond kitchens:
• In relationships, it builds emotional safety and intimacy.
• In friendships, it prevents distance caused by unspoken disappointment.
• In workplaces, it builds trust, morale, and motivation.
• In families, it models respect and emotional attunement.

People don’t need you to be perfect. They need to feel seen, valued, and appreciated.

So the next time someone helps—even imperfectly—pause.

Say thank you. Then, if it truly matters, talk about how the bowls should face.

Appreciation before correction. Effort before outcome. That’s emotional intelligence.
And that’s how strong relationships are built.

05/18/2025

Burnout is real — even when you “look” successful.

After pushing herself to be a top performer at Amazon, Jenn Cho hit a wall. It took a 12-week mental health leave to realize that success isn’t worth it if it costs your well-being. She shifted her focus to setting boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and finding identity outside of work.

Wellness Tips Inspired by Jenn’s Journey:

• Success is meaningless without your health.

• Set clear boundaries between work and personal life.

• Move your body—make fitness part of your routine.

• Reconnect with hobbies that bring you joy.

• You don’t need to “do it all” to be enough.

Sometimes stepping back is how you move forward. What’s one boundary you’re setting this week?



https://www.instagram.com/p/DJzTqSaRJ-3/?igsh=NTc4MTIwNjQ2YQ==

04/20/2025

04/09/2025

Why Do People Really Get Married?

According to a survey by Forbes Advisor of divorced individuals, love wasn’t the top reason they got married.

Here’s what they said:

• 42% married for financial security
• 39% for companionship
• 36% for love
• Other reasons included: commitment, starting a family, convenience, insurance, and even legal or societal pressure.

What’s interesting? Psychologist Mark Travers (via Forbes) notes that financial strain is one of the biggest reasons relationships fall apart. He also points out that couples who sacrifice their personal needs too often may create silent resentment—leading to deeper disconnection over time.

So while security and companionship are valid, these motivations alone might not be enough to sustain a relationship.

Love is important—but it’s not always the driving force.

Let this be a reminder to ask yourself: Why are we really doing this?

The answer matters.

04/01/2025

Burnout builds up over time and can show early signs like constant fatigue, irritability, difficulty concentrating, and lack of motivation. It may also lead to sleep disturbances, muscle pain, and emotional detachment.

If left unchecked, burnout can negatively affect your relationships, leading to increased tension, withdrawal from loved ones, and emotional unavailability.

Prevent burnout by prioritizing rest, setting boundaries, managing stress, and staying connected with others. Taking breaks and practicing self-care can help prevent it from taking a toll on your well-being and relationships.

For further reading, a study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology highlights how burnout can lead to interpersonal strain and reduced relationship satisfaction (Maslach, C., & Leiter, M. P., 2016).