23/06/2021
IT’S OKAY TO SAY NO
Don’t live above your rodeo financial means
We’re a little more financially stable than we were when my daughter first started this rodeo thing. When she was younger we entered her into every rodeo, jackpot, finals, and everything she wanted to do. My husband ended up working 80 hours a week to try to keep up, and we ended up in a divorce attorneys office. The one I selected was a friend and fellow barrel racer. She sat down with us as 1/2 lawyer and 1/2 friend. I complained that he worked too much and never spent time with the family. He stated that he couldn’t cut back on work because we couldn’t afford to. My dear friend looked at us both from across the desk and said, “I think you guys have a problem, but I don’t think either of you really want a divorce. If you want to save your marriage, tell your daughter no sometimes.” Rodeo and money wasn’t our only issue, but it was the icing on the horse shoe shaped cake.
Wow! But how are we going to do that? She works so hard and breathes horses. I had to think about that. We left, still married and no papers signed. Still didn’t like each other but we loved each other. We had some serious thinking to do about our daughters favorite hobby and our family.
Then she qualified for a finals. She qualified for that so she had to go right? I mean, she earned it. Yes, it was more money than we had but she earned it. So I took my diamond wedding ring to the pawn shop and we went to finals. It took us months and months to get it back. Did that one particular finals make a difference in any part of our life other than negatively financially and another iron in the angry marriage fire? No, no it didn’t.
Missing my ring and my husband, I started reconsidering what my friend/divorce attorney said, “Tell your daughter no sometimes.” She asked us, “Do you think your daughter would rather enter every rodeo she can or cut back to a couple a month and have her parents together?” Wise friend God sent me there.
So we cut back. We said no. We stopped going in over our head to rodeo.
The other day it was entry time for a FFA rodeo that my daughter had been talking about entering all year. It requires travel, stalls, hotels, and everything else that goes along with the rodeo road. The entry was due to be postmarked 2 days after we got home from State HS Rodeo Finals, where we spent a months worth of salary bc it was also our vacation. We had to say no. She didn’t get angry, have an attitude, or pitch a fit. She just said, “Okay, I understand. State was expensive.”
Not only have we cut back on rodeo’s, we’ve cut back in other areas of her hobby as well. Aint no shame in packing a sandwich and snacks. Up until now we wanted a living quarters but couldn’t afford a living quarters. We had a truck maxed out with leather seats, a sun roof, and a bunch of other useless to it’s job functions so we traded it in for a one ton base model work truck. That base model pulls the same, and gets the same job done.
We sometimes help people out that fall on a hard time just before they leave to go somewhere. It happens. However, don’t live above your rodeo means. Your kid will have just as much fun at a local jackpot as they would traveling across the country to some event that will suck you dry financially. And do you REALLY need to travel? No. Find the closest place to compete and go there. You think that “everyone is doing it” but they aren’t. They pick a couple of big travel rodeo’s a year and make a vacation out of them. They aren’t traveling all year.
And speaking of that, if you know a Pro Rodeo Athlete, ask them about travel. How wearing it is on them financially, physically, and mentally. Ask them how many flat tires they have had and how many times they have put thousands of dollars worth of maintenance in their truck. It’s not an all “guts and glory” good time on the road. It’s how they are making their living. And they are smart enough to know that if the pay doesn’t justify the entry they will not go when money is tight. They have to budget as well.
My daughter is no less of an athlete, competitor, and hand for missing a few rodeo’s a year. Don’t go into debt, beg your friends for money, or get a divorce over youth rodeo. Your kid may come up next year and decide they don’t even want to rodeo anymore. Something may happen and they can’t rodeo anymore. Don’t take them completely out of rodeo, just be smart about it, “tell your daughter (or son) no sometimes.”
Thanks for saving my marriage Ginny.
And thanks for being a friend.
I shared this personal story knowing angry people with angry thumbs would judge the heck out of me. However if it helps save a family from breaking apart, financial ruin, or both, it’s worth it. I turn my tragedies into testimonies to help others. My prayer is that our experience will help other struggling rodeo parents.
Love yall
Philippians 2:3-4
