04/05/2024
If someone else is pushing their responsibilities onto you and you feel resentful, as in any other boundary conflict, you first must take responsibility for yourself. Realize that your unhappiness is not their fault—it’s your responsibility.
Then, you must act. Go to the other person and explain your situation. When they ask you to do something that is not your responsibility, use a firm but gracious “no” and refuse to do it. If they get angry at you, be firm about your boundaries and empathize with their anger. Don’t get angry back. Keep your emotional distance and say, “I am sorry if this upsets you. But that is not my responsibility. I hope you get it worked out.”
Please do not fall into the trap of justifying why you can’t handle that person’s responsibilities for them.
If you find yourself constantly people-pleasing or bailing out a friend, family member, or partner, it might be time for an honest conversation with them and with yourself. On www.boundaries.me, you’ll find resources that will help you balance that habit with self-respect and personal boundaries.
