02/16/2026
This may be hard to read for some, but it's also very important and necessary. My job isn't always rainbows and butterflies. Sometimes, not often, I have to make the hard decision to transfer a client out of my care due to complications in pregnancy that make out of hospital birth unsafe.
Sometimes in pregnancy, things happen.
Sometimes in labor, something shifts.
And most of the time… those things are completely out of anyone’s control, including mine as the care provider.
A transfer to the hospital was likely never part of your plan. It wasn’t the vision you held. It wasn’t the birth you imagined. And it can feel disappointing, overwhelming, and emotional.
But please hear this...
When something arises that makes home birth no longer the safest option, the transfer is not a failure. It is not your fault. And it is not the fault of the midwife who recognized the need to change course.
You hire a midwife for many reasons — but first and foremost, you hire her to keep you and your baby safe. You hire her to recognize when something is outside the realm of normal. You hire her to make clinical decisions that prioritize safety over preference. And sometimes, that means transferring care.
Once a transfer occurs, the hospital assumes management of your pregnancy and labor. That shift can feel abrupt. It can feel like loss of control. It can feel heavy.
But what is within our control?
• Making sure you are supported during labor — often with a doula by your side. Not every midwife does this. Often times they don't sit with you in the hospital or hire a doula for you, but if they did, then consider that going above and beyond.
• Continuing constant postpartum support. If your midwife was constantly checking in with you, traveled to see you, etc, she did her job. If you declined care, that is not on her.
• Creating space for you to process your birth experience.
• Offering follow-up care, referrals when needed, and showing up for you long after the birth. Again, if you declined or canceled appointments, this is not on her.
If your midwife advocated for you (which includes recommending the transfer of care when it was no longer safe for you to birth out of the hospital), supported you, traveled to you, followed up postpartum, and ensured you had continuity of care — she did her job.
It’s easy to look for someone to blame when plans change. I understand that. Birth is emotional and sacred. But some complications are simply outside of anyone’s control — even the most experienced midwives.
Safety is never a failure.
Transfer is not a betrayal.
And no one is to blame for things no one could control.
You deserved safety and support. If you feel like your experience lacked support, then I encourage you to reach out to your midwife and tell her this directly. Have the conversation with her.
I will never guarantee you a particular birth experience. I will do everything in my power to help give you the experience you want, but I will never put those desires above you or the safety of your baby, ever.
Grateful always,
Ashley