Restoring Hope Counseling Center, LLC

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Birmingham, AL
Restoring Hope Counseling Center, LLC

Restoring Hope Counseling is a mental health counseling practice that serves the greater Birmingham a

05/30/2025

I've realized over the years that this phrase, "I am here and you are there," is a tricky one. If you're like me and many of the clients I've worked with, then you have experienced relationships where this phrase doesn't match. There are people who create a dynamic in relationships that go by many clinical names. (enmeshment, triangulation, codependency) These types of relationships are typically unhealthy and leave lasting effects.

If you have experienced a relationship like this, then you have felt a sort of twisting of your internal world. It can begin to feel like you are fused with another person. If they aren't OK, then you aren't OK. Even their mere presence ignites something within you. You might feel your brain or body get activated, and you feel edgy or nervous.

Unfortunately, these things can become normal, and you don't realize this isn't the way they are supposed to be. When you're with a safe person, their presence can bring a sense of calm. Your body and brain can relax. You can feel safe, seen, soothed, and secure. You feel a sense of being in yourself without needing to overcomensate or sacrifice something of yourself on their behalf.

Consider this an invitation to be curious about how you feel in your past or present relationships. When have you felt more activated, and why? How much responsibility do you take for the well-being of others? When did this become normal?

04/10/2025

A constant discussion point with clients lately is how much we hide and self-protect. We typically create these strategies or develop masks to wear so that no one sees the real us. We have come to believe that if we were really known, we wouldn't be wanted or loved. This form of protection is in constant battle with our deep human desire to be seen and known. There is this tension that builds within us.

If we're lucky, we will eventually find safety in the presence of someone who can hold all of our pieces, the good stuff and the not so good stuff, and hopefully they still decide we are worth the relationship. There is risk involved with this decision to be totally vulnerable. You are opening yourself up to be wounded and left behind. But in the end, the hope is that it's better to risk being known fully than not known at all.

If you've seen the classic movie "Good Will Hunting," you have seen a great example of living life protectively. In the movie, Will isn't fully himself with anyone until he finally gets challenged by his counselor Sean, played by the great Robin Williams. He confronts Will's self-protection throughout their time together, helping him understand to really be loved, you have to be found out as imperfect. There is no point in hiding it. And we don't need to expect it in others either.

The beauty in our best relationships is to have all those things be known and understood. If you're able to let your defenses down, the tension and managing subsides, and your soul can feel the gift of being seen and known.

Sean says, "It’s wonderful stuff, you know? Little things like that. Yeah, but those are the things I miss the most. Those little idiosyncrasies that only I knew about. That’s what made her my wife. Boy, and she had the goods on me, too. She knew all my little peccadillos. People call these things “imperfections,” but they’re not. That’s the good stuff. And then we get to choose who we let into our weird little worlds."

Living life in this way is a gift, that will come with bumps, bruises, and sometimes outright wounds. But in my experience, the reward is without a doubt worth the risk.

05/06/2024

How to W I D E N your Window of Tolerance

05/01/2024

4 Simple Steps in discovering more about YOU as you relate to stress.
https://www.mindmypeelings.com/blog/window-of-tolerance

04/29/2024

The Window of Tolerance: Hypoarousal
More information can be found at https://www.mindmypeelings.com/blog/window-of-tolerance

04/24/2024

How to Recognize YOUR Window of Tolerance.
Get curious about yourself. Did you relate to words shared around Hyperarousal in our last post? Maybe. If not, maybe Hypoarousal relates more to your experience with stress. We will discuss Hypoarousal in our next post.
If you would like to read ahead, visit https://www.mindmypeelings.com/blog/window-of-tolerance

04/22/2024

More on the Window of Tolerance: Hyperarousal
To read ahead on other parts to this topic, visit https://www.mindmypeelings.com/blog/window-of-tolerance

04/17/2024

An Introduction to The Window of Tolerance
Over the next couple of posts, we will be exploring the Window of Tolerance, Hyperarousal, and Hypoarousal. Today, we offer an introduction as well as how trauma plays a role in inhibiting self regulation. All information comes from the website below. Feel free to explore ahead of our posts.
https://www.mindmypeelings.com/blog/window-of-tolerance

04/15/2024

"I sat with my anger long enough until she told me her real name was grief." -C.S. Lewis
What emotion is really driving our ..worry?..search for connection?..need to compare?..hurt?..feeling that life is good?
It's never too late to become curious about yourself🤍

04/08/2024

Attachment in a Nutshell

04/03/2024

Ambivalent Attachment
When you're dealing with an ambivalent relationship, you're constantly on guard, grappling with questions of trust -Adam Grant

04/01/2024

Avoidant Attachment
"We can grow up in homes in which the food finds the table, the money finds the college funds, and the family even finds the church each Sunday; but somehow our hearts remain undiscovered by the two people we most need to know us- our parents" - Curt Thompson

Address

300 Century Park South, Suite 201
Birmingham, AL
35226

Website

https://linktr.ee/restoringhopecounselingbhm

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