Carol Mishkin Coaching

Carol Mishkin Coaching I guide you to attain clarity, silence your chattering mind, get unstuck feel confident , empowered and fulfilled.. Masters in Education

Ontological Life Coach
Yoga Laughter Leader
Meditation Teacher
NLP practiotioner
Life Systems Graduate
Silva Mind Control Graduate 1, 11
Graduate course
Boston University.

When you are healthy, you have many problems.When you are sick, you have only one.”I’ve been sitting with these wise wor...
07/18/2025

When you are healthy, you have many problems.
When you are sick, you have only one.”

I’ve been sitting with these wise words a lot lately.
Literally—sitting—on a heating pad from Friday through Sunday, unable to walk without tears in my eyes and loud cries of “Ouch!”
Excruciating pain from sciatica, severely cramped glutes, numb legs, tingling feet.
It took over my entire being.

I went to the doctor, got an X-ray—diagnosis: arthritis, stenosis.
Prescribed Meloxicam, an anti-inflammatory.
Three days later, I felt a bit better.
But I walked like I was 180 years old, still aching all over.

Then came another blow—sky-high blood pressure.
Turns out the medication was the culprit.
Doctor said to stop immediately.

So here I am. Still in pain. But stable. Healing.
It hasn’t gotten worse, and that is something.

In these raw, humbling moments, my mind wandered to those living in wheelchairs, those confined to beds, those enduring chronic pain every day of their lives.
My empathy has grown in ways I didn’t expect.

And I’ve been counting my blessings.

Grateful for the loving people in my life.
Grateful for every note, every message from those I’ve touched along the way.

And above all, grateful to be reminded—again—
that health is a gift we don’t fully value…
until it’s taken from us.

“No one loves you like your mother. The truth is we never really outgrow our need for a mother to come for us,celebrate ...
07/15/2025

“No one loves you like your mother.

The truth is we never really outgrow our need for a mother to come for us,
celebrate us our accomplishments
or make a soup .

To quote author Adrian Rich “
there was,and
is in most of us a girl-child longing for a woman’s nurturance,
tenderness,
and approval

For daughters,
healthy, maternal love always feels good .

Mothers and daughters who remain in warm connection throughout their lifespan
are both healthier and happier
than those who are lost to each other.

Mothers who provide adequate nurturance
protection and
guidance
create securely attached daughters who navigate life’s challenges
without unnecessary distress.

But the MYTH that all mothers love their daughters,
erases the truth that many women know :
maternal love didn’t feel good.

The fantasy of maternal love did not apply .

The myth creates confusion for many daughters who never knew this kind of tenderness .

Mother hunger is yearning for
maternal love can and come from well meaning mothers who could not be there or
from mothers who were there and wanted to love, but did not have the proper infrastructure for attachment program into their own psyches

Mother hunger does not discriminate based on race or class
because infant needs are Universal.

The kind of care we received as infants and toddlers teaches us whether we are worthy,
lovable and safe .

Truly,
what I found is that having an unkind or neglectful mother can be as damaging as having no mother at all.

Sisters can help heal mother absrnce but cannot ever make up for mothers love , nurturance, protection and guidance

Continuing excerpts from the masterpiece bookMother Hunger Kelly Mac DanielIf you have ever felt too needy or dependent ...
07/14/2025

Continuing excerpts from the masterpiece book

Mother Hunger Kelly Mac Daniel

If you have ever felt too needy or dependent this may be why

We need our MOTHERS!!!

This is a need biologically hardwired into our bodies and brains.

If we didn’t have enough mothering, that “yearning for love “
stays with us .

By mother ,
I am primarily referring to the biological mother,
but mother is also a verb and an adult with the desire ability and willingness to nurture protect and guide a child can be a mother .

However I agree with Erica Komisars obsetvation in “Being There”

“Our denial of the very specific i’m special physical and emotional role of a mother to her child particularly in our attempts to be modern is not in the best interest of children and their needs like commissar.

I have a front row seat in my practice to what happens when this important relationship is compromised.

In spite of diverse stories,
each woman with mother hunger,
yearns
quality of love are nurturing,
safe,
inspiring love .

The kind of love we think of as
Paternal Love
is a love that we need for a firm starting in life.

While it’s clear that
Daughter’s raised by attentive, nurturing fathers have many advantages.

FATHERS CANNOT replace mothers.

Mother hunger isn’t about dismissing the importance of fathers or
other primary caregivers
nor is it about blaming mothers for what they couldn’t provide .

Mother hunger is a framework to help you identify what the essential elements of maternal care are so you can recognize what you have lost and reclaim what you need.

“You have all the closure you need.Anyone treating you like you don’t matter is all the closure you need.Their behavior ...
07/14/2025

“You have all the closure you need.

Anyone treating you like you don’t matter is all the closure you need.

Their behavior tells you everything.

When someone shows you that you’re not important to them, believe them.

When someone makes you feel invisible, that’s your answer.

When someone consistently disappoints you, that’s your closure.

When someone repeatedly hurts you, that’s your sign to leave.

Stop looking for explanations from people who show indifference.

Stop asking “why” from people who clearly don’t care.

Stop seeking clarity from people who are deliberately confusing.

Stop wanting closure from people who won’t even communicate.

Stop begging for answers from people who’ve already shown you the truth.

You don’t need them to explain why they don’t value you.

You don’t need them to spell out why they’re treating you poorly.

You don’t need them to confirm what their actions already show.

You don’t need them to validate what you already know.

Actions are the only closure that matters.

How they treat you is your answer.

How they prioritize you is your truth.

How they respond to your needs is your reality.

How they handle your heart is your closure.

Their indifference is your information.

Their neglect is your notice to leave.

Their disrespect is your direction to walk away.

Their behavior is your permission to move on.

Stop waiting for words when their actions have already spoken.

We need our mothers. This need is biologically hardwired into our bodies and brains if we didn’t have enough, mothering ...
07/10/2025

We need our mothers.

This need is biologically hardwired into our bodies and brains if we didn’t have enough,
mothering the yearning for love stays with us forever by mother.

Mother is a verb ,
an adult with the desire,
ability and
willingness to nurture protect and guide a child can be a mother

Mother hunger captures a compelling insatiable yearning for love

Neuroscience informs us that the brain doesn’t differentiate emotional pain from physical pain.

An infant is hungry or lonely feels pain when there isn’t a close caregiver to relieve her pain.

The pain intensifies her brain can’t inform her body.
She’s in pain.

If maternal care is compromised during the first three years, the lack of nourishing is heartbreaking for a baby

The science is irrefutable.

Children need nurturing,
caregiving protection guidance from the early caregivers in order to develop necessary processes for optimal living.

We cannot expect children not to have these need simply because they are inconvenient for us.

The cost of ignoring them is too great.

The kind of care we received as infants and toddlers teaches us whether we are worthy, lovable and safe.

Truly,

What I found is that having an unkind neglectful mother can be as damaging as having no mother at all .

Babies are designed to stay physically close to their biological mothers. Babies brains are NOT designed for long hours away from their mother , which includes being carried , nursed, hugged and comforted

Over time without maternal comfort the baby learns to bury the need It doesnt go away but unmet needs fester like an angry infection .

The body holds the memory of emotional pain and overtime may generate chronic distress and insecurity and when distress is the norm.

It becomes toxic,
Toxic stress creates inflammation weakening the immune system


The frightened little toddler within follows us into adulthood
wreaking havoc in our bodies. relationship and careers

This early broken heart is the root of mother hunger.

Mother Hunger Kelly Macdaniel

What is mother hunger?Mother Hunger. Kelly MacDanielMother hunger is a term created describe what it feels like to grow...
07/09/2025

What is mother hunger?

Mother Hunger. Kelly MacDaniel

Mother hunger is a term created describe what it feels like to grow up without a quality of mothering that imprint emotional worth,
and relational security.

Mother hunger is not an attachment disorder.
It’s an injury,
a heartbreak that forms from inadequate , maternal nurturance,
protection or
guidance in the early development injury.

Living with mother hungrr hurts all the time.
it’s like grief,
complicated grief that comes from carrying an unacknowledged invisible burden all by yourself as a child .

If essential elements of maternal nurturing and protection were missing you didn’t stop loving your mother,
you simply didn’t learn to love yourself.

This is the essence of mother hunger mother hunger is a heartbreak that touches everything in your world, particularly your relationship with others and your own sense if worth.

⸻I have just finished reading—and rereading—an outstanding, revealing, and deeply informative masterpiece of a book: Mot...
07/08/2025

⸻

I have just finished reading—
and rereading—
an outstanding,
revealing, and
deeply informative masterpiece of a book:
Mother Hunger by Kelly McDaniel.

This book spoke directly to my soul—and to the hearts of so many women I’ve encountered through my coaching practice and met in all walks of life.

With clarity and precision,
it names the wound that so many silently carry:
the ache of mother hunger.

It explains in poignant detail the consequences a child endures when the nurturing they need is absent,
inconsistent,
or conditional—and
how that wound can shape a lifetime.

As I turned each page,
I found words for feelings I had buried.
I saw patterns.
I saw myself.
And I saw with new eyes the areas I still need to tend and heal. Knowing full
Well healing is everyday and a life time process till the end.

Over the next few days,
I will be sharing quotes and reflections from the book—
passages that shook me,
comforted me,
and gave me language for what once felt inexpressible.

If you:
• have suffered from mother hunger,
• are a mother still healing from your own,
• or are preparing to step into motherhood with intention and awareness,
. Or are a mother who is not aware of how crucial her role in child care is and the lasting effects of your absence the childs first 7 years of life
I hope these insights help guide, illuminate,
and soften your path.

You are not alone.
You are seen.
And healing is always possible.

⸻

Your Brain Lives in the Past — But You Don’t Have ToDid you know that 95% of the time, your brain is not in the present ...
06/30/2025

Your Brain Lives in the Past — But You Don’t Have To

Did you know that 95% of the time, your brain is not in the present moment

Yes — a crazy amount of our day is spent replaying the past.

Our mind loops memories over and over — conversations, experiences, regrets.

But here’s the truth:
We are not remembering the event.
We are remembering our memory of the event.
And each time we revisit it,
we edit it — adding more emotion, making it sadder,
more dramatic, or more heroic than it really was.

Our memories are just memories of memories.
Read that again.

They are no longer factual.
They’re no longer what actually happened.
They’ve been reshaped, distorted, and emotionally colored.

And yet, we live there — 95% of the day in our unconscious, default-mode mind.
Not because we choose to, but because the brain is wired that way.

But guess what?
Nothing grows in the past.
You can’t put spilled milk back in the container.
You can’t glue a broken plate and expect it to look untouched.
The past is gone.

So what happens when you live there?

You stay stuck.

But here’s the gift we often forget we have:
We are alchemists.
We can choose one thought over another.
We can reframe, reimagine, and retell the story.

When we change our thoughts,
everything changes:
• Our chemistry
• Our emotions
• Our neurology
• Our biology
• Our hormones
• Our immune system
• Our psychology

Why?
Because the mind believes everything we think.

Every time we repeat a painful story,
we relive the pain — not just mentally, but in every system of our body.

But when we rewrite the story — and infuse it with a new belief, a new meaning, and a new emotion —
we rewire the brain.

This is not wishful thinking.
This is science.

Neuroplasticity.
Epigenetics.
Psychoneuroendocrinoimmunology.
All confirm it.

You are not your past.
But your past will keep defining you if you keep telling the same story.

Want to feel better?

Choose a better story.
Repeat it.
Believe it.
Live it — for 21 days — with feeling, with conviction.

And then?
You’ll become it.

So…
Is there a memory that’s been hurting you for too long?

Are you ready to do the work and let it go?

I am responsible for what I say. You are responsible for what you choose to hear. People do not hear what you say , mos...
10/11/2024

I am responsible for what I say.

You are responsible for what you choose to hear.

People do not hear what you say ,
most of the of the time they are lost in thought or planning their response.

Checking back to what the other heard is a great exercise.

When you say something to someone and they say they understood,
Ask them to please repeat back what they heard and what they understood.

You will be surprised how often they do not hear what you said .

By doing this check back many communication problems could be avoided.

We all need practice with our communication skills and listening skills.

What one thing can you change in you to be a better listener for your children?

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