07/29/2025
As a child therapist, I see this all the time —
Anxious kids being raised by anxious parents.
When I meet with parents, I remind them:
You don’t need to be “anxiety-free” to support your child.
You just need tools — and self-awareness. Here’s what I often share:
1️⃣ Model how to cope with anxiety — not hide it.
Your child doesn’t need you to pretend everything’s fine.
They need to see you manage anxiety in real time.
🗣 “I’m feeling a little nervous, so I’m going to take a few deep breaths.”
This teaches them: “Anxiety isn’t dangerous. I can handle it.”
2️⃣ Let them feel discomfort (without rushing to fix it).
It’s hard to watch your child struggle — I get it.
But when we step in too quickly, we accidentally teach: “You can’t do hard things.”
🗣 Try: “I know this is hard — and I believe you can get through it.”
3️⃣ Tune into your own anxiety cues.
I often ask parents: “Is this about your child… or your fear?”
Are you avoiding activities, over-preparing, or seeking constant control?
Awareness here is powerful — because your regulation becomes their roadmap.
4️⃣ Co-regulate first — then build independence.
Kids can’t self-regulate if they feel alone in their fear.
Create calming rituals with them:
👐 Cuddle + breathe before school
🎧 Play a relaxing song before bed
These moments build security — and trust in themselves.
5️⃣ Cut back on reassurance (gently).
I see it all the time: “Are you sure it’s okay?” “What if ___?”
And you respond 100x with love — but it doesn’t stick.
🗣 Try: “Worry is trying to trick you. What do you know to be true?”
Help them learn to rely on their own thinking.
6️⃣ Get support for yourself, too.
This work is hard — and you shouldn’t have to do it alone.
Whether it’s therapy, a support group, or just a validating friend…
Caring for your own nervous system is one of the best gifts you can give your child. Plus, I know some great therapists too😊
🌱 You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be present, aware, and willing to grow — alongside them.
