04/08/2025
Conflict avoidance is perfectly understandable as a defense, but in reality, it doesn’t work.
The brain is wired to detect threats in an instant. You may think you’re covering your true feelings, but the slightest change in behavior, tone of voice, and micromovements in your face can alert your partner to the problem.
When you don’t address the problem, your partner will be forced to fill in the blanks. With the brain’s negativity bias, it’s likely your partner will assume something worse than whatever is actually going on.
Additionally, your needs won’t be met if you don’t address them. Over time, that will affect how you feel and behave around your partner.
All of this is detrimental to your relationship, which means it’s bad for both of you.
Acknowledge that conflict avoidance does the opposite of protecting from harm, and address issues as soon as possible.
