06/11/2025
What does healthy self-esteem actually look like?
It’s not about thinking positively about yourself all the time. It’s:
👉🏼 Feeling appropriately bad about bad behavior, while still holding yourself in warm regard as a flawed, worthy human being.
Healthy self-esteem means:
✨You feel regret or guilt in proportion to the situation.
✨You can take accountability without spiraling into self-loathing.
✨You don’t need to be perfect to feel worthy.
When we lack this balance, we often lean in one of two directions:
➡️ Shame-based thinking: “I forgot to text back. I’m a terrible person.”
➡️ Grandiose thinking: “I screamed at my partner, but they deserved it. I’m fine.”
Both distort the truth. Healthy self-esteem holds two truths at once:
“I messed up, and I’m still a good person who can do better.”
Healthy self-esteem isn’t inflated or crushed — it’s grounded. It makes space for both accountability and compassion.
Where do you land on the self-esteem spectrum?
