Tara Green, LCSW

05/17/2023

The Unrealistic Perfectionism Mentality

Perfectionism is an unrealistic expectation. Almost all of us know that however, many of us still try to reach this unattainable goal. Be it the most beautiful person in the world, the perfect picture, the top of the class or the best employee it exists in all forms in all walks of life and does not discriminate.

So, what can we do about this?

Below are 4 tips to help manage this unrealistic type of thinking:

Perhaps most importantly,

1) Perfectionism does not exist. We are human beings that are inherently flawed. Instead of striving for perfectionism, we can strive to be our best self.

2) We can only do our own personal best. We are not control of everything that happens in our life

3) Remind ourselves of the things we like or do that makes us feel good about our self and pursue that.

4) Get outside or get involved in something that gets us out of our own head and focused on something other than ourselves.

08/13/2022

The power of speech

Talking is very healing in case you have not tried it lately. I promise you. Sometimes we talk and don’t think about what we are saying. Often when we are talking, we don’t feel what we are saying. But when we speak in an honest, open and heartfelt way, we are not only thinking about what we are saying but we are also feeling it. There is a big difference. Ask anyone who is speaking? Are you talking just to say words? Maybe- but stop for a minute and think about how you feel when you are speaking? Are you angry, happy, indifferent, envious, proud, disappointed? Etc., etc. you get my drift. That is where life lives. Life lives in our conversations with ourselves and others when we hear and feel what we are saying.

When you speak to me, you are not judged for what you are saying, you are just heard. Heard with an open heart, mind and you are in a judgement free zone. You are respected for what words are being said and the feelings behind them. You are in a safe place where you are allowed to say what you think and feel. The very essence of therapy is talk and talk therapy allows just that. Don’t be disillusioned by the simplicity of this term. Talking is anything but simplistic as anyone who has spoken recently would know.



Tara Green, LCSW
info@taragreenlcsw.com

Tara Green, LCSW provides Talk Therapy in North Carolina & New Jersey for women, parents & college students struggling with anxiety & more.

01/27/2022

Notice your thoughts as you would notice the clouds in the sky: as just passing through 🌧🌩☁️🌤☀️

12/17/2021

11/25/2021

Feeling thankful

Feeling thankful and being thankful are not one of the same. Sometimes we can be thankful for something or someone in our lives and not feel thankful. Being thankful is a state of “being” whereby we are showing this typically in our actions so it can be a kind act, like saying a simple thank you in our pleasantries, or gifting someone with something we know they would like. It can also be something we tell someone. Many times, this state of “being” is an action we say or do because we think it is the right thing to say or do, or it’s what we believe is expected of us. However, we may not “feel” thankful. Often times we are just going through the motions. There is nothing inherently wrong with this- we are just humans. Some of us may feel guilty that we are not “feeling” thankful and are only acting this way- but we do not need to feel this way.

Feeling thankful is an emotional state of being thankful. It is a true expression of how we truly feel and when we do experience this feeling-it’s like a warm glow emanating from deep inside of us. Both being and feeling thankful can look the same on the outside but feels very differently to us emotionally. Ideally, most of us would like to be and feel thankful but that does not always happen.

So how can we authentically both be and feel thankful?
One way we can achieve this is to start with mindlessly making a list of everything we are thankful for. Just quickly jot it down without giving it much thought. You will be surprised with what you put down. Then revisit your list and ask yourself the question- how many of these items if any am I being, feeling or both being and feeling thankful for.
If you are only being thankful for some things on your list and not feeling that way-challenge yourself to ask why? Do you want to change any of those being to feeling? Take a moment to let yourself feel the difference between the two and notice how it feels. Then if you would like to feel more thankful than only being it – change something. Maybe you can do something for the person, place or thing to give it more importance or value to create more of the feeling thankful feeling. Love it more, do an act of kindness, think positive thoughts about it. If you want to change the being to feeling about something, someone, or a situation, start by noticing new positive things about the person, place or thing. Start by showing acts of kindness even if you don’t feel that way right away. Soon enough your feelings will start catching up with your being and you will start to feel and be thankful and the two will mesh. This can take some time but with practice you will begin to notice a change. Let us all try to be and feel thankful for our growth this thanksgiving and holiday season.

10/13/2021

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09/19/2021

Build A Habit