05/09/2026
1. “Do you remember?”
Never ask a dementia resident to remember something they can’t. It doesn’t refresh their memory — it just makes them feel broken. Instead try: “Let me remind you — your son John is coming today.”
2. “I just told you that.”
They are not ignoring you. Their brain literally cannot store that information. Answer the question again with kindness, as many times as it takes. Every time is the first time for them.
3. “You are at home.”
When they say they want to go home, they don’t mean their address. They mean a feeling — safety, comfort, familiarity. Don’t argue. Just say, “Tell me about home.” Let them talk.
4.“What did you do today?”
Open-ended questions overwhelm a dementia brain. Swap it for yes/no questions. “Did you have lunch today?” is so much easier for them to answer than “What did you do?”
5.“Hurry up.”
It takes 90 seconds for a dementia brain to process a single command. Slow down. Sit down. Get on their level. They are trying their hardest — meet them there.
Save this for your next visit and send it to anyone who loves someone with dementia. This is how we make the hard days a little better.