10/29/2023
I promised regular updates. Then I had one of the worst summers of my life. Shame and guilt slowed me down even more, leading to greater procrastination. Then I blinked and it’s already four months after I closed my clinic unexpectedly on a Friday afternoon.
Here I am now, finally posting an update. A few decisions have been made but honestly the majority of my time has been on everything but my clinic. Life has been…….challenging. There have been days spent focusing on my next breath because I couldn’t see any further than that. There have been days when anxiety was so overwhelming, I was completely paralyzed. A medication adjustment finally helped me see beyond the fog of exhaustive depression and incapacitating anxiety. I finally have the energy to start putting my life back together.
And that’s where I am at right now. Deciding what my life is going to look like now. The last four years have challenged and broken me in ways I wasn’t ready to acknowledge. And when emotions and grief and trauma are ignored, they eventually demand to be addressed. I was not exempt from that phenomenon. As a doctor, we are taught to be super human, to not tend to our needs and to pretend we are fine when nothing is right in our world. I tried to ignore my grief and trauma and finally I had no choice and everything changed.
Healing is messy, hard, exhausting…..and critical to growth. Healing is best done in community. Thank you so much for all the texts, messages, and check ins. You have been my community and feeling your unconditional support and genuine love has allowed my heart and soul to begin to heal.
Now for the hard part.
I will NOT be reopening my clinic in Bonaparte.
I have given myself to the end of the year to decide if I will be reopening elsewhere. There is a lot of thought going into my decision making process so please trust it is not a snap decision. My life looks very different now and I have to be fair to myself and my family.
I know many of you have received messages or emails telling you to schedule appointments and I apologize for all the confusion surrounding those messages. It is a feature of my EMR I can’t turn off and previously would have been quite helpful. For now, I will continue to refill medications, just as I have been. I am checking athena messages regularly and that is the best way to communicate with me. I am checking the messages from this page as well but please keep in mind this is not a secure platform. For those who have transitioned to new providers, please continue to be patient as I slowly work through those requests for records.
I am grateful to all of you who trusted me to care for you and your families. Thank you for your patience as I make decisions on the future of Lantern Family Medicine!
Dr. Ge**er