Aarti Tejuja

09/14/2025

My family sometimes asks me what made me become a Buddhist.
It’s moments like this — when grief and harm collide, and I refuse to choose only one.

In the U.S., politics has become a sport: two teams, endless rivalry.
And if you name suffering — ICE raids, hunger when SNAP is cut, daily gun deaths, the opioid crisis — people assume you’ve joined one team or the other.

But these aren’t partisan issues. They’re human ones.
The fact that basic dignity has been turned into a political scoreboard is the real hypocrisy.

Some people say, “I’m in the middle.”
What they mean is: I won’t celebrate if someone on the “other side” is killed.
I’ve even seen people mourn the death of a public figure who openly blessed violence — while ignoring the countless unnamed deaths happening every day. That’s the middle seat: decency without paradox.

The Buddhist Middle Way is different.
It’s refusing the game itself.
It’s grieving a death and naming the harm that person caused.
It’s seeing humanity and holding accountability.

I know this isn’t comfortable. At my uncle’s funeral, I spoke about both the grief I felt for him and the harm he caused our family. Some family members told me later they were grateful I named what was true. Others, in the moment, could not accept it — choosing positivity over complexity.

Still, here’s what I know: the middle way feels right in my body. When I choose it, my breath comes deeper, my shoulders soften, I feel steady on the ground. I will not give up living this way just because others are uncomfortable. I want that steadiness for them too. But there is no freedom in making everything “all good” in the name of moving on.

The middle seat is detachment.
The middle way is courage.

This is what the Buddha meant by the middle way — not bland neutrality, but the courage to walk between extremes. Centuries later, Nāgārjuna named it Mādhyamaka: the truth that everything arises through relationship.

Not the middle seat.
The middle way.

May we have the courage to hold humanity and harm together.
May we remember that belonging is not a team sport.
And may we live from the truth of interdependence.

My family sometimes asks me what made me become a Buddhist.
Here it is, very clear.

10/11/2024

Children want parents who are not only present but whole—healed from their traumas and aware of their mental health. When parents carry unresolved pain, it often spills into the home, creating an emotional environment that children absorb. Kids are sensitive, especially to the unspoken weight of a parent’s unhealed wounds. They may not understand it fully, but they feel it—the tension, the distance, the sadness. This is why it’s so important for parents to address their trauma and mental health, not just for their own sake, but for the emotional safety of their children.

When parents are battling mental health challenges in silence, children often pick up on the emotional turmoil and may even start to blame themselves. They wonder if they did something wrong, if they’re the reason their parent is hurting. It’s heartbreaking to think that a child’s innocent mind could carry the burden of adult pain, but it happens more often than we realize. Children need parents who are willing to do the hard work of healing, showing them that it's okay to confront the shadows of the past, instead of being consumed by them.

Trauma has a way of passing from one generation to the next. Parents who don’t address their own wounds often, unintentionally, pass them on to their children. It’s not out of malice, but out of unawareness. A mother’s unresolved grief may show up in her lack of emotional availability. A father’s buried anger may come out in moments of harshness. Children don’t just inherit eye color or mannerisms; they inherit emotional legacies. Healing breaks that cycle and offers children a chance to grow up free from carrying the weight of their parents' pasts.

Mental health, when neglected, casts a long shadow over the home. Children want to feel secure, but when a parent is drowning in depression, anxiety, or unaddressed trauma, the home can feel unstable, like walking on eggshells. This emotional instability leaves deep scars on a child’s heart, teaching them that love is fragile, inconsistent, or conditional. But when parents take their mental health seriously, they model resilience, self-compassion, and the importance of prioritizing well-being.

Children need to see their parents as emotionally available, capable of holding space for their feelings without being overwhelmed by their own. It’s hard for a child to seek comfort from a parent who is too lost in their own pain to offer it. When a parent is consumed by trauma, it becomes harder to be fully present with their child’s needs. But healing creates space—for joy, for connection, for truly seeing and loving your child for who they are, without the weight of your own hurt clouding that love.

Mental health is often invisible, but its impact on parenting is profound. A parent who struggles to manage their mental health might be less patient, more irritable, or emotionally distant, even if they don’t mean to be. Children internalize these reactions, sometimes believing that they are not lovable or worthy of consistent affection. The pain of feeling unloved because a parent is lost in their own emotional turmoil can leave lasting wounds on a child’s self-esteem.

There’s a deep vulnerability in admitting that as a parent, you are struggling. But children need that vulnerability. They need to see that it’s okay to not always be okay, that healing is possible, and that love and mental health go hand in hand. When parents seek help—whether through therapy, support groups, or simply acknowledging their pain—they teach their children the importance of self-care, emotional honesty, and the courage it takes to heal.

Parenting through trauma requires grace and forgiveness, both for yourself and your children. Mistakes will happen, and there will be days when the weight of your own struggles feels too heavy. But each step you take towards healing is a step towards giving your children the gift of a healthier, more emotionally present parent. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about being whole enough to love fully.

Children deserve parents who can model emotional resilience, who can show them how to process hurt without being defined by it. Healing from trauma isn’t just for you—it’s for them. It’s for the moments when your child needs a steady hand to hold, a calm voice to guide them through their fears, and a heart that is open and present. It’s for breaking the chains of inherited pain so your children can walk into their future free from the burdens of the past.

Healing is not easy, but it’s necessary. Every step you take in caring for your mental health, in addressing your trauma, is a step towards giving your child the gift of emotional safety and a home filled with love, not pain.

- Abhikesh
Parenting Therapy by Abhikesh

10/04/2024

Today I did some volunteering with The Hot Toddies to clean up the river. Todd is the town that Matthew and I moved to two days before the storm. Now, it is our community. What an interesting way it has been to meet our new community.

What I have observed is that Renata from Flygirl Fishing is a coordinating super star and that this community is full of super stars who are distributing food, water and resources, including generators, digging people out, chain-sawing what has to be chain-sawed and cleaning up the river.

And all this without having power and internet in most of their homes.

It feels good to land in such a kind and resourceful place who care about their community and the land here.

10/03/2024

Hi friends. We have taken your amazing donations and begun buying supplies for our new Todd community.

Matt plans to volunteer in our community by cutting down trees with our new chain saw and I (Aarti) plan to offer myself where I can be most useful, which I'm currently suspecting might be in the healing/mental health/doula/chaplain/ancestral realms when the time for that show itself.

Everyday, different supplies are needed. For now, we have water, which is great. I hope other communities are able to reach resources as well. :-)

Yesterday we dropped some things off at the local firehouse. When we got home, I was touched to see that others had left us water and food.

If you'd like to help us purchase goods and tools for our local town as needed, you can venmo me at aarti-tejuja or zelle at 3125202565 or paypal at aarthi9@gmail.com

Thanks to everyone who has supported so far.

We still don't have internet, so we will be slow to respond. But we are safe, healthy and good and there is still no place we'd rather be that with these beautiful mountains and rivers and forests.

With love,

10/02/2024

I'm writing from this very generous coffee shop in West Jefferson, which is a town about 30 minutes from where Matt and I live in Todd.

I say generous because the owner and his daughter have been operating it since day 1 after the storm, keeping it open for so many who have no power, no water and no internet.

We feel very fortunate to be living where we are, and to witness the kind hearts and generous gestures of so many people and to feel the mountains and rivers speak so directly.

We are one of the few streets in Todd to have power back. We have been trying to clean up some of the damage. (see chain saw photo) and trying to work too - both our jobs are mostly done online and with folks who aren't impacted by the storm. We are asking folks to be patient with us.

We don't know too many people yet in Todd, but I suppose there is nothing like a hurricane to bring people together. So later today we will stop by the local Fire Station and to see how we can help.

I do know that batteries and flash lights and candles are needed in my town, so if people want to send donations, we can try to get some of these things to people and whatever else the fire stations says they need. I have access to zelle Aarti-lentztejuja and venmo Aarti_Tejuja or paypal @ aarthi9@gmail.com if people want to contribute to this.

Sending love to all from afar. More stories in the days ahead.

Love, Aarti (and Matthew)

09/30/2024

Hi all, this is Aarti. We are fine, but my phone is not working so reach out to Matt instead. We do not have power nor Internet and are sending this from a restaurant in West Jefferson which has power. Our land flooded and power lines could take weeks to be restored.

We are thinking of purchasing a generator.
There are people who are stranded in their homes and also who have lost their homes here. We will update to let you know what is happening.

In the meantime if you want to help us and others who may need it in the area, you can venmo me at aarti-tejuja or zelle at aarti_lentztejuja or PayPal at aarthi9@gmail.com.

Thank you all! Send us prayers.

03/16/2023

02/09/2023

This week I’ve been contemplating: How can I get smarter about what spiritual groups and spiritual communities I choose to be a part of?

I choose communities based on how comfortable or good I feel. But I’m recognizing that since many of us, myself included, have trauma in our physical and sexual bodies (ancestrally) we often don’t have a good sense of if what we are feeling is “good” or just better than the outer dominant world.

Because the outer world is so “head centered” or intellectually based, I am often attracted to a more heart centered community because that feels much better than the heady world around me.

But I really recognize this week that I need be careful of heart centered communities too. Why? Because being heart centered is not a replacement for being heart, head, voice, root and gut centered. The question to ask is, is this community committed to all of these? That is, are they doing their shadow work and if they are, is that a primary part of their main spiritual practice?

Heart love is is one aspect of a community. Gut and Root love means that a community will have good boundaries, will be healing their physical and sexual trauma and will be developing a strong Earth connection. To heal the root is to heal the deepest of wounds. And that kind of commitment is real love.

I don’t expect a community to be fully healed, I just need to know the people are committed to full body healing and anyone who is a leader or teacher there must actively be doing the work. One indication that a community is doing this kind of full spiritual work is to witness the people “in charge” as well as the people coming there. Are people who are teaching and healing comfortable moving in their own bodies? Are they comfortable dancing and moving their legs and hips with ease and if not, do they recognize this as a deep wound that is essential to work with? Do they incorporate movement of the legs and hips as a primary spiritual practice? Are they including elemental Earth teachings? How about Shadow work teachings like ancestral work or other trauma practices and is everyone there participating or is this kind of work considered “optional”? Is the shadow work/trauma work including the body or is just head driven? If a community is seriously doing this work, I notice that all kinds of various bodies can begin to find safety there. Multiculturalism, various genders, class backgrounds, bodies of all capabilities - all these beings will begin to show up and find home there.

All these things are indicators as to whether something is a healthy spiritual community or one that has disconnection of the root or gut and therefore bad boundaries. These kinds of communities often lean heavily on the heart center as a primary love center instead of recognizing that love is about the balance of all chakras and in Western society, we need extra emphasis on root and gut cleansing.

In other words, if you feel all the chakras aren’t being honored there, and there’s no extra emphasis on root and gut, you might think of looking elsewhere. Look at who is being attracted, how people move and what is important to those who are leaders there.


www.ordinaryintuitive.com

01/31/2023

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑷𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒔𝒚𝒎𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝑵𝒆𝒓𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝑺𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒎. The parasympathetic nervous system works to 𝒔𝒍𝒐𝒘 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 certain 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒑𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒔 and bring about a state of 𝒉𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒐𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒔𝒊𝒔 to the 𝒃𝒐𝒅𝒚, allowing it to 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒕, 𝒓𝒆𝒍𝒂𝒙, and 𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓 itself. Parasympathetic responses include an increase of digestive enzymes, decreased heart rate, constriction of bronchial tubes in the lungs, and more relaxed muscles. It is this system that helps us to rest, relax, and 𝒅𝒊𝒈𝒆𝒔𝒕.

𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑺𝒚𝒎𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝑵𝒆𝒓𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝑺𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒎. The sympathetic nervous system is known as our 𝒇𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 or 𝒇𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 response. When we are faced with a perceived 𝒕𝒉𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒕 of any kind, whether 𝒑𝒉𝒚𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒂𝒍 or 𝒆𝒎𝒐𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍, our sympathetic nervous system kicks into gear and brings about automatic and involuntary responses, such as increased heart rate, elevated blood pressure, elevated respiratory rate, and more sweating. The sympathetic nervous syste also shuts down many
parasympathetic responses in order to utilize more energy for the 𝒇𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 or 𝒇𝒍𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒑𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒆.

𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒕𝒐 𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒖𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝑵𝒆𝒓𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝑺𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒎: Stimulate the Vagus Nerve
𝑵𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝑺𝒖𝒏𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒆
Forrest bathing and sunshine are medicine for the nervous system.

𝑻𝒖𝒓𝒏 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒗𝒐𝒍𝒖𝒎𝒆
and unnecessary stimuli to activate the parasympathetic nervous system.

𝑯𝒖𝒈, 𝒄𝒖𝒅𝒅𝒍𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒆𝒎𝒃𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒆
to elevate, and release endorphins and oxytocin. Co-regulation is very powerful if the other person is calm.

𝑮𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅
Try a weighted blanket or walk barefoot, it helps relieve anxiety and ground. Meditation, breath-work or Yoga can also help. Disciplines like yoga increase vagus nerve activity to help keep you calm and are particularly effective for people suffering from anxiety or depression. Breathing slowly and deeply activates your vagus nerve to send messages to your brain that help lower your blood pressure and heart rate.

𝑴𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒕𝒊𝒎𝒆 𝒇𝒐𝒓 𝒔𝒑𝒂𝒄𝒆
to tend to your needs, and do activities that feed your soul.

𝑺𝒉𝒂𝒌𝒆 𝒊𝒕 𝒐𝒇𝒇
by physically moving your body to shake off built-up energy.
Exercise is good for your brain's cognitive faculties. your mental health and your gut flow, thanks to its ability.

𝑪𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝑷𝒍𝒖𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒔
Cold water plunges or ice baths alleviate inflammation + increase our repair mechanisms. Exposure to cold dampens the light or flight response and increases the rest and digest response, like taking a cold shower or drinking ice water.

𝑻𝒖𝒓𝒏 𝒅𝒐𝒘𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒗𝒐𝒍𝒖𝒎𝒆
Fats are essential to build nerve tissue (including brain + nerves)
and hormones. You can improve your mood simply by silently repeating positive phrases about your friends and family.

𝑮𝒐𝒐𝒅 𝒔𝒍𝒆𝒆𝒑
Set a personal goal of 8 hours to gain all the benefits of our body and mind in rest.

𝑺𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒈
Humming, chanting and singing are all exercises that increase heart rate variability (HRV).
Higher HRV is linked with reduced morbidity and mortality and improved psychological well-being and quality of life. Laughter is a natural immune booster which, like singing can increase HRV in a group setting. Gargling with water stimulates the muscles of the pallet and has been shown to improve working momory performance.

𝑯𝒐𝒘 𝒂𝒏𝒊𝒎𝒂𝒍𝒔 𝑫𝒊𝒔𝒄𝒉𝒂𝒓𝒈𝒆 𝑺𝒉𝒐𝒄𝒌:
Dr. Levine was inspired to study stress on the animal nervous system when he realized that animals are constantly under threat of death, yet show no symptoms of trauma. What he discovered was that trauma has to do with the third survival response to perceived life threat, which is freeze. When fight and flight are not options, we freeze and immobilize, like "playing dead." This makes us less of a target. However, this reaction is time-sensitive, in other words, it needs to run its course, and the massive energy that was prepared for fight or flight gets discharged, through shakes and trembling. If the immobility phase doesn't complete, then that charge stays trapped, and, from the body's perspective, it is still under threat. The Somatic Experiencing® method works to release this stored energy, and turn off this threat alarm that causes severe 𝒅𝒚𝒔𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒖𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 and 𝒅𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒐𝒄𝒊𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏.

𝑾𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒄𝒂𝒍𝒎 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝑵𝒆𝒓𝒗𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝑺𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒎:

• humming
• listening to calm music
• deep sigh
• shacking
• exercising
• yoga
• touch therapy
• gargling
• cold shower
• singing
• chanting
• connecting with nature
• massage
• aromatherapy
• deep breathing
• butterfly hug
• squeezing a stress ball
• practicing mindfulness
• dancing
• body scan
• connecting with loved ones
• placing your hand over your heart with deep breathing
• petting an animal
• doing art
• gentle touch
• regular self-care
• laughter
• gentle tickling
• body therapy
• Suck ice-cubes/splash face with cold water
• Run/walk/dance/sing
• Journal
• Guided meditation
• Box breathing
• 4-7-8 breathing
• Tapping technique
• Practising gratitude
• Visualisation

𝒀𝒐𝒖 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒓𝒏 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒏 𝑽𝒂𝒈𝒖𝒔 𝑵𝒆𝒓𝒗𝒆 𝒇𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒐𝒘:
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=561947862464754&id=100649571927921

Picture:

𝒃𝒚 𝑲𝒏𝒐𝒘𝒍𝒆𝒅𝒈𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝑷𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓

01/31/2023

Imbolc is the time between Winter Solstice and Spring Equinox. It’s the time when we begin to slowly stir out of the deep rest and hibernation of winter, knowing that spring is not far behind. For some of us (definitely for me!) this is the toughest part of winter, when we want to be done with the cold and our hibernation, but Earth tells us we must remain in our cocoons a bit longer. Still, we are able to peep out and see clearly that the newness of spring is right around the corner!

I’ll be offering two Imbolc Rituals tomorrow. Join me in the morning at 7am cst for a morning Imbolc ritual where we will find deep rest then slowly emerge to greet the sun in gratitude. This ritual is free and it will be recorded so you can come to it throughout any part of your day. You can join us here on Facebook Live at 7am cst or on YouTube at https://www.youtube.com/live/KtyqTG6kOLI?feature=share

Then at 6pm I’ll be joined by Powerful Earth Mother Georgia Loxas-Tsiongas for an Imbolc Evening Ritual at Boundless Retrieval Holistic Healing & Retail in Crown Point where we will allow our bodies to discover and enjoy an evening of deep rest, relaxation, play, joy, and magic. Details are on the flier below.

Hope to see you at one or both of these powerful rituals!

Turn your videos into live streams with Restream https://restre.am/ANImImbolc is the time between Winter Solstice and Spring Equinox. It’s the time when we b...

12/31/2022

Dear Aarti,

A year is ending, a new one begins. This is the time between the winter equinox and the birth of spring ahead. As you make this transition, I want you to remember that the space between endings and beginnings is where all the Magic happens. I want you to relax into this space. Remember this:

When you’re giving birth to a new, authentic version of yourself, you must mourn the version of yourself that you’re leaving behind.

Grieve all the moments that the “old” you didn’t see the “real” you. You don’t need to grieve the old you forever because constantly thinking about the past can turn into depression…But grieve until you know for sure that you can still love the old you and you can move on with no regrets. Grieve until you can accept and honor the timeline of your own journey. After you mourn the old you, tell her you will always love her and hug and kiss her goodbye. You know you are done mourning her because she will return your hug and kiss goodbye and wish you well on your journey. Don’t skip the step of grief just because you are so eager to move on. Grieving the old you is essential and part of the Magic.

After you grieve… Then, you will step into the shoes of the new you with a sense of excitement and wonder of what’s to come next on your journey. Don’t get too caught up dreaming too far into the future because excitement quickly turns into anxiety. Instead, feel the sense of wonder and excitement, stay present, and celebrate and love the you that you are now. Get to know who this new you is. It’s like meeting a lover for the first time. You can see all the beautiful times you’re going to have together, but you don’t get carried away in fantasy. You take it slowly, getting to know each other day by day, and then all the beautiful moments happen naturally. So remember, walk slowly, one moment at a time. Be excited and create the vision. Then drop it, be patient, and enjoy the journey. Believe your dreams will come true because Earth is with you.

Remember…always honor the space between Death and Birth. It is the space where the Magic is always happening, the space of the now.

Love,
Aarti