10/11/2025
✨ The Brilliance of Dysregulation—A Fresh Perspective
We’re often in the role of helping parents/caregivers navigate their child’s dysregulation. We see the meltdowns, the resistance, the seemingly “defiant” behaviors, and the struggle to connect. And in those moments, caregivers may ask: "Why won’t they just listen?" or "Why are they acting this way?"
What if we could help parents and caregivers reframe their understanding of dysregulation altogether?
Because here’s the truth: 🌟
A dysregulated brain will have difficulty…
❌ Thinking logically/clearly
❌ Noticing breath
❌ Feeling “grounded” and “in the body”
❌ Following directions
❌ Having internal awareness of both mind and body
❌ Communicating in a clear manner
❌ Displaying a wide range of emotional expression
Instead of viewing dysregulation as bad, what if we helped those around us see its brilliance?
✨ All behavior is communication. ✨
A child’s behavior is their nervous system speaking, telling us what they cannot put into words. When we judge certain behaviors as “good” or “bad,” we risk missing the deeper wisdom at play.
As we know, our autonomic nervous system is not random—it is beautifully designed to respond to perceived threats, to protect, and to seek regulation. What we call “dysregulation” is actually a functional response, an attempt to restore balance and safety.
So when a parent asks, Why is my child acting out?, let’s support them in shifting the question to:
🔹 What is this behavior trying to accomplish?
🔹 How is this dysregulation serving the child?
🔹 How is their nervous system working to find safety and connection?
When we guide parents toward curiosity instead of judgment, they begin to see the brilliance of the system at work. They recognize that their child’s behavior isn’t something to fix, but something to understand.
And in that shift, they arrive at the most powerful response of all:
✨ Wow. ✨
I invite you to bring this perspective into your sessions as you support families. Encouraging parents to shift from labeling behavior as good or bad to asking how the dysregulated behavior is serving the child can open the door to deeper understanding.
This simple shift in perspective allows us to approach a child’s behaviors with greater compassion, curiosity, and connection.
Much love on the journey 💜
♡ Lisa
