09/10/2021
“ helps raise awareness surrounding su***de. It’s a mental health issue related to a sense of being DISCONNECTED. This is not just a “SOME people” problem—we all need to increase mindfulness, self-awareness and compassion to foster social connections—now more than ever. Because, how we treat ourselves and others matters.
Reasons Why People Feel Death Is an Option:
-A brother who stops talking to a sister is a reason.
-A parent who rejects a child (at any age) is a reason.
-A boss and/or coworkers targeting a single employee is a reason.
-An adult child who devalues and belittles their parent is a reason.
-Sexual harassment/assault is a reason.
-Loss of employment is a reason.
-Bankruptcy is a reason.
-Divorce is a reason.
-Losing your health/mobility (from an accident, cancer, chronic illness, fighting for your country, gender-based violence, hate crimes, COVID, etc.) is a reason.
Making others feel disconnected is 100% PREVENTABLE. So, when we actively push people away or disinclude them, we are actively hurting others when we do not have to.
Here are 6 TIPS on how to prevent hurting yourself and others:
1. Go to regular talk sessions with a therapist or life coach.
Talking to a pro helps others because you will start to integrate your past so you can be more present. When we lash out at those around us, it’s ALWAYS because we are living in the past on some level. The right professional can help you stay grounded.
2. Practice meditation to increase mindfulness.
Mindfulness is not for hippies! Being more aware of yourself, your feelings and your own motivations can help you recognize your disconnects so you do not infect others with your issues, and instead, you can work on yourself! Taking responsibility for your own problems by recognizing you have them is a mature response that insures you will not wittingly hurt yourself or anyone else. !
3. Become self-aware.
We (often unwittingly) project our disconnects onto others, placing the brunt of our pain onto people who don’t deserve negatives. It’s almost always those who are closest to us, too—siblings, parents, children, friends, a partner or spouse. That’s about proximity—the people we have the most access to are not there to be personal punching bags. So, don’t do that. It’s not fair or right, and will eventually backfire.
4. Choose kindness over cruelty.
You may be tempted to lash out at others, but there’s never a reason to hurt people who support you. Before responding harshly to anyone in your circle, take a deep breath to press pause. Will lashing out enrich your connection? If the answer is “no” then step away for a moment until you don’t feel the need to react. Reacting is fear-based behaviour and is part of self-sabotage. Anyone who encourages you to hurt, lash out or disconnect from the people who love and support you is manipulating you for their own agenda—perhaps they want to isolate you, making you dependent or codependent. Being kind includes being kind to yourself. Make sure that the people you choose to be with love, respect and care for you by fostering social connections with your family and friends by including them whenever possible, particularly for major holidays and remembrances, like Mothers’ Day, etc..
5. Compassion over judgement every single day.
Stop judging other people’s choices and worry more about your own. When you’re tempted to judge someone else, look in the mirror first. Applying your own humanity to the rest of us—that’s compassion.
6. Be PROACTIVE not REACTIVE.
Do you wait for other people to make mistakes so you can be right? Do you anticipate failure based on imagined possibilities, not probabilities? Do you jump on someone the moment you see/sense weakness and use that weakness to hurt them by taking away social privileges?
These are all SHADOW behaviours often associated with personality disorders attached related to the ego. Your mental health has been comptomised and that id why you are REACTIVE instead of PROACTIVE. You may bait others. You may have frequent feelings of envy or jealousy. You may feel angry…at everyone, for everything. You may feel paranoia or believe others are out to get you. This is all part of having a “victim mentality” associated with multiple mental health disorders that are 100% TREATABLE. Nontreatment makes you easier to manipulate, use and abuse. You are essentially a walking weapon that can be pointed in any other person’s direction. You’re an easy target so can easily target others.
Being PROACTIVE is not worrying about what other people say or do because you are too focused on building up yourself, your life, your career, your finances, your creative outlets, your home, your stability, and, your future. Only healthy, balanced individuals can be PROACTIVE. It’s harder to manipulate proactive folks—any of us can be triggered, but if you’re proactive, it’s less likely you’ll be baited into arguments, family/friend/relationship drama, politics in the workplace, etc.. You’re priority is keeping yourself focused on forward momentum—not past trauma.
If you EVER feel unsafe, please dial 911 or go to your local hospital’s emergency room.
Other resources:
TTY users: 1-800-273-8255
Vets text “838255”
Suicidepreventionlifeline.org
If you need a therapist and can’t get an appointment, you are WELCOME to sign up for a talk session with me. I will get you in ASAP:
rebecca.housel@gmail.com
Even when you feel alone, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.”
-from RebeccaHousel.com
