NAPS

07/18/2025

06/18/2025

Are you maternal gatekeeping? 😬

It’s a real thing, backed by science. It’s defined as “a set of beliefs and behaviors exhibited by mothers that may inhibit or limit fathers’ involvement in childrearing, based on the perception that the mother is the primary or more competent caregiver.”

I didn’t even know this was a thing when I had my first baby. But I was doing it all the time. Correcting how my husband held the bottle, redoing the swaddle, insisting to “just let me do it” because it was faster and easier.

You know what happened? Believe it or not, he stopped offering to help. I felt alone. And we both felt like we were failing.

By baby #3, I knew I didn’t want that dynamic again. I actually sat my husband down and asked him to call me out if I started gatekeeping. And he did. One day, as I was judging the outfit he picked out for our daughter, he gently said “Hey, I don’t need a Monday morning quarterback.”

It worked. It helped me laugh, pause, and let go.

So with Father’s Day around the corner, consider this your reminder: let the dads show up. Let them be part of the mess and the magic. Even if they do it differently. Even if it’s not “your way.”

You can do it all, but you really shouldn’t have to 💛

And if you want to talk more about how to navigate this stuff, I’d love to see you in my next support group. Tap the 🔗 in bio to learn more and register!