09/29/2023
š Stop self-sabotaging by saying āIām too old [for]ā¦ā
šš¼ As therapists, we hear all too often clients use the self-sabotaging language of "I'm too old for..." which often leads to negative consequences on personal and professional levels. You may have heard that as you age, you become less capable of learning new things, or participating in activities that can nourish your well-being. This (incorrect!) narrative risks preventing you from achieving your goals and developing your growth potential.
Instead, research on this global phenomenon conducted by Romaioli and Contarello (2019)* suggests several counter-narratives to help break away from these troubling beliefs so that you can remain positive and resourceful despite - or even thanks to - your advancing age. š Here are two of our favorites:
šŖš¼View aging as an opportunity; for enrichment, renewal, serenity, and the discovery of other abilities. Adopting this counter-narrative undermines the very premise on which the "too old for..." construct is founded, and extinguishes the fear of aging or being "too old" for something.
šŖš¼Focus on willpower - of making the effort to meet lifeās challenges with determination. This focus on willpower is associated with personal values such as self-fulfillment and inner strength, and facilitates developing a strong identity; an identity that enables individuals to cope successfully with the adversities of daily life.
So, let's take off those āold-colored glassesā and replace them with some ārose-colored glassesā for aging - the kind that will foster a positive and resourceful attitude to help you create, and say yes, to yourself.
Take away points:
1. Don't let the " Iām too old for..." narrative hold you back from achieving your goals.
2. Counter-narratives such as an alternative representation of aging, and focusing on willpower, may help combat this form of self-sabotage.
3. Remember, age is just a number and it has little to do with your actual potential. š«
š”*Romaioli D, Contarello A. "I'm too Old for ā¦" looking into a self-Sabotage rhetoric and its counter-narratives in an Italian setting. J Aging Stud. 2019 Mar;48:25-32