Debbie Carter - SEL Educator & Parent Coach

08/03/2025

I just realized we made it through bedtime without a single meltdown for the past few days. Like... nobody cried. Not even me.

Six months ago this would've been impossible. We were stuck in that awful cycle where I'd lose it, then they'd lose it, then we'd all just... fall apart together.

I'm not sharing this to be like 'look at me, I figured it out!' Because honestly? Tomorrow might be a disaster again. That's just parenting.

But tonight I'm sitting here thinking about how my 7-year-old chose a breathing card earlier when his brother took her Lego guy. Instead of screaming. Instead of hitting. She just... grabbed a card.

And I didn't have to yell. I didn't have to threaten timeouts. I just got to watch him figure it out.

Some days this job feels impossible. But then there are nights like tonight where I think... maybe we're getting somewhere.

Anyone else have those little moments that just make you want to cry happy tears? Tell me I'm not the only one who gets emotional over successful bedtimes 😅

08/03/2025

Okay this study just came across my feed and I had to share because it explains SO much about why our kids lose it over the 'wrong' cup...

Turns out when kids are overwhelmed, their prefrontal cortex (the logical thinking part) literally goes offline. Like, completely offline. Which is why 'use your words' and 'calm down' don't work when they're melting down.

Their brain is in survival mode. Logic = gone.

This is why I stopped trying to reason with big emotions and started focusing on sensory regulation instead (like the Big Feelings Deck). Movement, breathing, pressure... stuff that actually works when their thinking brain has left the building.

If you've ever wondered why your normally sweet kid turns into a tiny tornado over seemingly nothing... this is why. Their brain literally can't process logic in that moment.

Game changer for understanding my own kids. And honestly? For understanding myself when I'm about to lose it too 🤯
science

Emotional regulation, understood as the skills and strategies needed to influence and/or modify the emotional experiences, has a very remarkable implication within numerous emotional and behavioral disorders in childhood and adolescence. In recent ...

08/02/2025

Hey, Debbie here.

You won’t see me posting much here — not because I don’t care, but because I’m still doing the same thing you probably are: trying to keep it together while raising little humans with big feelings.

I’m a former teacher, SEL educator and now a parent coach working at Trailies.

I hit a breaking point one morning — when the cereal spilled, the shoes were missing, and my 4-year-old was having a meltdown so loud it set the dog off.

I froze. Then I snapped. And later I cried in the bathroom, wondering how all my “knowledge” disappeared the moment things got loud.

That’s when I started building what I wish I’d had — not another book, not a method, just something I could grab in the moment.

If you found me through an ad, or a friend, or late-night scrolling after bedtime battles… welcome. I hope these tools help you like they helped me.

Feel free to reach out!🥰

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