11/10/2025
Yesterday morning, as I drove through the mountains from Santa Fe toward Boulder, a white dove struck my windshield. This was before dawn, the highway empty, and the world tinted in early blue. A cold fog drifted along the shoulders of the road, and frost feathered the glass. To the east, a thin line of orange light hovered over the peaks. I sipped from a paper cup of gas-station coffee and kept my eyes peeled for deer. A few miles north of Poncha Springs, a yellow sign appeared in my headlights: WATCH FOR WILDLIFE. I slowed, scanning the edges of the pavement for movement. The road shimmered with ice. I was thinking about the writing classes I teach, about Hasita, about the weekend ahead, and about the quiet that waited for me at home.
Then, without warning, a white blur cut across my headlights from the right. There was no time to react. A soft thud, the crack of impact, and then silence. My chest clenched. I kept driving, stunned, waiting for something to follow—a feather caught on the wiper, a smear, or a sign of what had just happened—but there was nothing. Just the dark road rising and falling through the mountains, the hum of the engine, and the sick feeling that comes when beauty and violence meet.
For the next thirty miles I drove in a kind of trance, gripped by this pregnant moment. The way it had come out of nowhere. How alive and quick it had been. And how final it seemed.
The world felt charged. It vibrated.
When I finally stopped for gas in Fairplay, the sun was spilling over the ridgeline. I stepped out into the cold, and the first thing I saw was the dusty imprint. Across the glass was the faint, perfect outline of a dove: wings open and head lifted, as if still in flight. There wasn’t blood. Only dust, a soft white powder. At the center was a small crack where its body had struck. The rest of it looked almost holy, like the negative of an old photograph.
I stood there a long time, staring at it. I felt guilt, but also something else: awe. I had hit a bird. But I had also collided with a symbol.
I reached for the squeegee, thinking I could wash it away. I pressed hard, dragging the rubber across the glass. The outline smeared but didn’t disappear. I tried again. I leaned into the strokes, the cold air biting my hands. Still, the wings remained: ghostly, stubborn, and translucent. Even now, a day later, if the light hits just right, you can still see the faint trace of its body on the glass.
Driving north again, I kept thinking about how something so soft could arrive with such force. I had been living lately with more focus and more boundaries. Good things, but maybe there was a message here: stay soft.
This seemed to be one of those moments when the veil thins and the unseen pushes its way into the visible world. Yesterday morning felt like what Robert A. Johnson called a moment of the Golden World. He describes the Golden World as a brief opening when the ordinary becomes extraordinary and spirit and matter fold into one another.
As I drove, I kept thinking of the bird’s image on my windshield. It asked to be understood. It reminded me of Johnson’s memoir, Balancing Heaven and Earth. In it, Johnson describes further the Golden World, those moments when the soul breaks through the surface of everyday life and shows us that the world is not random. It is alive, responsive, and speaking.
Johnson’s descriptions and insights gave helped me understand. He gave words to this type of experience I’d known since childhood. Reading him helped me see that the sacred isn’t somewhere else. It’s right here, hiding in plain sight, waiting for us to notice.
That book changed me. It helped me trust my own way of experiencing things. I now see that the the experiences and descriptions that many people would call superstition or projection are, in truth, the original language of the psyche. Johnson taught me that these moments of shock and beauty are how the soul shows us it’s listening. The more I’ve leaned into that way of living, the more the world has leaned back.
The day after the dove, I pulled a card from The Great Beyond Archetype Deck. I use that deck the way I use dreams: playfully, curiously, not to predict but to listen. The card I drew was The Unseen. I laughed out loud. Of course it was.
Here’s the thing: The more I honor this kind of listening to my soul and to the soul of the world, the more people I meet who live this way too. My Substack began to grow when I stopped hiding the mystical parts of my life and started writing about how the world actually feels to me. It is strange, interactive, and full of weird, meaningful emissaries.
That morning’s encounter with the unseen felt like a continuation of something much older in me. I’ve spent my life chasing and being chased by moments like it. I tell this story in my memoir, Into the Soul of the World: My Journey to Healing. The book tells of my rise as a journalist and adventure writer, the years of travel and success, and the crash that followed: addiction, PTSD, depression, and the slow climb back. It’s also about learning again to live in conversation with the unseen. In it, I write about being pulled back to India decades after my first visit, drawn by something that felt like a teacher. That journey led me to a cave in the Himalayas, where I met a hundred-year-old yogi who had lived there for twenty-five years. When I was a teenager, I used to read about yogis in caves and dream of finding one. Forty years later, I did.
That encounter stayed with me. I left the mountains more certain than ever that the world is alive. That it speaks through events and people if we learn to listen. Later, a friend gave me language for what I had felt. He told me that God shows up in emissaries. These symbols, people, and natural happenings are the ways the divine makes contac. Each one is a visitation reminding us that we’re not alone, that meaning is woven through even the most ordinary moments.
I think about that when life feels ordinary. When Tommy rests his head on my knee while I write. When Hasita starts singing along to a favorite song as we drive the gravel roads outside Santa Fe, her voice rising with the dust. When a student finds the sentence that finally unlocks their story. These are emissaries too. They are reminders that the unseen keeps moving quietly through the visible world.
It’s in moments like these that my two lives, the writer and the teacher, feel like one. They come from the same impulse: to pay attention, to say what’s true, and to let meaning reveal itself through story. I’ve taught and edited memoir writing for almost fifteen years. What I teach in Writing the Soul is not just craft. It’s a way of being with your story. You don’t have to be spiritual to belong here. You only have to believe that stories matter. I teach writing, but more than anything, I teach people how to listen to their own stories and to the world that keeps trying to speak through them. You don’t have to be mystical or have access to golden worlds. You only have to be yourself. You have to stop filtering your story and stop leaving parts of you out. That is where the alchemy begins.
The imprint of that dove is still on my windshield. I’ve stopped trying to wipe it off. It reminds me that the world speaks when it wants to, that spirit and matter are never far apart, and that every story begins with a single, undeniable moment of impact.