04/30/2026
YOU’VE BEEN TAUGHT WRONG.
For those who don’t know, Erotic Blueprints are a popular framework in s/xuality education describing arousal “types” (Sensual, S*xual, Energetic, Kinky, Shapeshifter).
AND I FEEL LIKE I’M COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET WITH THIS POST AND IT FEELS CONTROVERSIAL 🙈
I’ve already led trainings on this within s/x therapy spaces and among other clinicians. This is part of my evolving clinical work.
So much of what is casually taught in s/xuality coaching is missing the depth of nervous system science and hormonal literacy.
For example:
“Energetic” arousal is often a high sympathetic state organized through distance, anticipation, or imagination rather than touch.
“Sensual” often reflects ventral vagal access and interoceptive embodiment; the capacity to feel safely in the body.
“S/xual” often reflects direct arousal pathways shaped by physiology, relational context, and cultural conditioning.
“Kinky” often reflects structured regulation of high arousal states through containment, negotiation, and intensity.
None of these are fixed traits.
They are adaptive nervous system strategies expressed erotically.
Without somatic literacy, we misinterpret these blueprints as our arousal identities.
When in actuality, these are actually state-dependent nervous system responses, not stable identity.
Erotic capacity is also hormonally influenced.
Across menstrual cycles, shifts in estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone can impact libido, sensitivity, emotional openness, and erotic accessibility.
S/xuality is not static; it is rhythmic, neuroendocrine, trauma-influenced and responsive.
So the shift is this:
Instead of asking
“What is my Erotic Blueprint?”
We ask
“What state is my nervous system in right now?”
“Recently?”
“How has culture influenced my arousal anatomy?”
“Where am I at hormonally?”
This reframing brings s/xuality back to what it actually is:
not a category to belong to…
but a dynamic, embodied, relational process that changes with safety, context, and capacity.
I may be opening this workshop to the broader community at some point, but for now it is a workshop offered exclusively to therapists and clients at The Love, S*x and Gender Center.
