Carol Staben Burroughs Counseling

09/06/2025

I heard something today that felt like someone quietly rearranged the furniture in my soul.

Gabor Maté, in a conversation with Mel Robbins on her podcast, said:
“No two children grow up in the same home. Even with the same parents.”

And he’s right.
By the time each child is born, the people raising them have already changed.
A father may be softer now, or more guarded.
A mother may be freer, or more worn.
The marriage may be blooming… or quietly cracking.
Money might be scarce, or finally enough to breathe.

And then there’s *us*—the children.
We come with different hearts, different fears, different ways of hearing the same words.
One child feels loved in the quiet; another feels abandoned in it.
One thrives under structure; another wilts.
The same hug, the same house, the same parents—yet completely different worlds.

It made me think about the stories we carry.
How we assume we all lived the same childhood because we shared a roof.
But we didn’t.

We were each raised by a different version of our parents… a version shaped by time, by trials, by joy, by fatigue.

And maybe part of growing up - truly growing up - is making peace with this.
To forgive the versions of our parents who couldn’t give more.
To honor the versions who somehow gave anyway.
And to understand that the love was real, even when it looked nothing alike.

Because you see, love isn’t static.
It’s a living thing, it's changing, faltering and blooming; just like the people who give it.

Here’s my video reflection and excerpts of the interview: https://youtube.com/shorts/l3NUPuoX5AM

08/31/2025

Sometimes we carry childhood wounds about our parents.
They yelled. They didn’t always give enough attention. They swatted us on the back of the head. Didn’t buy the toy we wanted. Fought in front of us. Maybe they didn’t say “I love you” as often as we needed — and yes, a therapist can tell you: you weren’t loved enough.
But how could a therapist know the details? The little things we might not even remember?
I think back to when I came home on break from college with my 8-month-old daughter. She was a restless sleeper, waking and crying at night. I’d already gotten used to it. Rock her, soothe her, repeat.
That very first night, my dad quietly showed me a “life hack,” as people say now. He brought in a rug and a pillow, laid them next to the baby’s crib, and said:
“We’ll take turns sleeping right here on the floor. It’s easier. You don’t have to jump out of bed all night. Or maybe I’ll just do it myself. It’s good for my back anyway.”
Then he casually added: “I actually slept this way for a year when you were little. Your mom was in med school full-time, I was working at the psychiatric hospital and pulling shifts on the ambulance. And every night I slept on the floor by your crib. Easier to get up fast when you cried. Safer that way.”
I never knew. He never said. Nobody told me. He didn’t swear his love, didn’t make speeches, didn’t declare: I never slept! I sacrificed everything for you!
He just… slept on the floor. And was ready to do it again for his granddaughter. Because in his mind, how else could it be? That was love.
Not every parent said out loud, “I love you.” Back then, it wasn’t the norm. Instead, they showed it in details: saving the best piece of food for us, spending their last dollars on a pair of nice shoes, running out in the middle of the night for medicine, sitting up through sickness, sleeping on a rug by the crib.
So yes, if a therapist can help us heal, that’s good. But if not, maybe we need to remember the little things before we conclude we “weren’t loved.”
Because love often is the details — the kind we don’t always notice, or even remember.
— Anna Kiryanova

08/22/2025

This event sold out, but Travis Gribble was able to reserve more space. Eventbrite is now open again for registrations.

06/23/2025

05/08/2025

You won't believe how simple this is: One of the quickest ways to evaluate su***de risk is through the SLAP technique.

S - Specificity of the plan
L - Lethality of the method
A - Availability of means
P - Proximity to help

Train your brain to think SLAP — it could save a life.

03/28/2025

True happiness comes from understanding why and how.

You can’t 'purpose' your way to fulfillment; you need both.

When was the last time you rewrote your story to turn yourself from a victim into a hero?

Big goals alone don’t fill the void, small actions bring lasting happiness!

Read the full article: https://ow.ly/WCiy50Vo4Lo

02/07/2025

"The work of the mature person is to carry grief in one hand and gratitude in the other and to be stretched large by them.
How much sorrow can I hold? That’s how much gratitude I can give. If I carry only grief, I’ll bend toward cynicism and despair.
If I have only gratitude, I’ll become saccharine and won’t develop much compassion for other people’s suffering.
Grief keeps the heart fluid and soft, which helps make compassion possible."

~Francis Weller

Art- Catrin Welz-Stein

12/21/2024

Empathy the feeling of compassion and understanding for others