Dr. Mary Beth Covert

01/20/2023

Happy Friday Friends!! 🎉
“Joy was not made to be a crumb” 🍪
-Mary Oliver ❤️

12/29/2022

TRIGGER WARNING – discussing trauma triggers
 
Trauma triggers can be: smells, sights/scenes, sounds, places, people, times of year/anniversary dates, physical sensations, being alone or feeling vulnerable, when children reach the age you were when a trauma happened.
 
TRAUMA TRIGGERS ARE:
🔹Anything that reminds us of a trauma.
🔹Our body’s way of trying to keep us safe. (Even though we are no longer in the traumatic situation--our body is still associating the sensory memories of the trauma with danger.)
 
HOW TO COPE WHEN TRIGGERED:
1. Get grounded back in your body
🔹Deep breaths (breathe in for 4, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4, etc.)
🔹Get a cold drink
🔹Look at your hands and feet and remind yourself of your current age
🔹Hold ice in your hand for a few seconds
🔹Take a short walk
🔹Sit with your pet
🔹Name 5 things you see, 4 you touch, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, and 1 you taste
 
2. Once you're grounded back in your body
🔹Connect with your safe people and places.
🔹Validate your experience: Example: “That trigger reminded me of a past trauma. It makes sense that it would be upsetting to me.”
🔹Consider discussing your experience with a trauma-informed therapist.

❤️‍🩹 There’s hope for healing ❤️‍🩹
 

 
Disclaimer: This content is not a substitute for therapy or mental health services and is not a professional service. Engaging with this content does not constitute a therapeutic relationship, and this content is for educational purposes only. If you are in crisis, please contact the National Su***de Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255 or 988.

12/24/2022

When the holidays are hard...
 
The holidays can be wonderful and joyful,
AND
overwhelming, stressful, and a time of grief.
 
Maybe this year is one of those hard years for you.
 
If it is—my heart goes out to you.
 
Holidays can amplify pre-existing pain and cause us to feel “other,” like the joy and frivolity of the season are just out of reach.
 
If you’re in a hard space this holiday—go easy.
 
Be EXTRA gentle.
 
Check in with yourself often.
🔹What would support look like for you?
🔹What boundaries might be helpful this year?
🔹Could you let a safe friend know about the pain?
 
Sending my love to those who are facing hard holidays. ❤️



Disclaimer: This content is not a substitute for therapy or mental health services and is not a professional service. Engaging with this content does not constitute a therapeutic relationship, and this content is for educational purposes only. If you are in crisis, please contact the National Su***de Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255 or 988.

12/15/2022

4 Reasons to Consider Therapy for Trauma or Past Pain

Understandably, we often want to avoid engaging our past pain. Younger versions of ourselves likely survived by avoiding it. So why open a door that we’ve worked so hard to keep shut?
 
1. Healing trauma enables us to be more present in our lives.
Increasing:
✨Spontaneity
✨Creativity
✨Connection with others
 
2. Healing trauma can build resilience.
Life is filled with hard seasons--learning how to heal can give us courage to take risks in life.
 
3. Healing trauma is a quality-of-life issue.
Everyone deserves to rediscover peace and joy.
 
4. Healing trauma helps us to not pass unprocessed trauma on to the next generation.

Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we'll ever do. 💕
- Brené Brown.

 
 
Disclaimer: This content is not a substitute for therapy or mental health services and is not a professional service. Engaging with this content does not constitute a therapeutic relationship, and this content is for educational purposes only. If you are in crisis, please contact the National Su***de Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255 or 988.

12/12/2022

Beginning to identify what's happening in our nervous system, can help us get back to feeling:
😌 Safe
😌 Grounded
😌 Connected
 
Polyvagal Theory:
🔹Describes how our Autonomic Nervous System (ANS) evolved to help keep us safe and alive.
🔹Explores how we shift up and down the three circuits of the vagus nerve (part of the ANS) depending on environmental cues of Safety or Danger.
 
The vagus nerve is made up of three neural circuits:
1. Ventral:
I'm SOCAILLY ENGAGED and feel…
Joy, Curious, Open, Grounded, Mindful, Compassionate
2. Sympathetic
I'm in FIGHT, FLIGHT, or FAWN and begin…
Controlling, Bullying, Over-Working, Panicking, People-pleasing
3. Dorsal
I'm in FREEZE and feel…
Numb, Spaced Out, Dissociative, Isolative, Shutdown
 
Toning the vagus nerve can help with:
✨Reduce Anxiety
✨Reduce Depression
✨Reduce Inflammation
✨Reduce Heart Rate
✨Along with other benefits
 
Ways to tone the vagus nerve:
▫️Laughing
▫️Yoga
▫️Diaphragmatic breathing
▫️Exercise
▫️Singing/Humming
▫️Sleep
▫️Meditation/Prayer
 
Dr. Stephen Porges and Deb Dana’s work on Polyvagal Theory was a game changer for me! I hope it’s helpful for you too! 💓

 
 

Disclaimer: This content is not a substitute for therapy or mental health services and is not a professional service. Engaging with this content does not constitute a therapeutic relationship, and this content is for educational purposes only. If you are in crisis, please contact the National Su***de Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255 or 988.

12/03/2022

Common nervous system responses to trauma or highly stressful situations are:
🔹Fight
🔹Flight
🔹Fawn
🔹Freeze
 
Often, if flight, fight, or fawn don't work or are not feasible, we will freeze.
 
Over time, our responses become "well-worn paths" and without intentional healing work, we will continue to respond like we always have.
 
We often have one or two responses that are our initial "go-to" ways of trying to solve highly stressful situations. I tend to move toward flight or fawn in highly stressful situations. How about you? Do you recognize your pattern/s?
 
Go easy and bring compassionate curiosity to this. 💞
 
If you’d like to try some mind-body coping tools, check out the link in my bio for free downloads. 

 
 
Disclaimer: This content is not a substitute for therapy or mental health services and is not a professional service. Engaging with this content does not constitute a therapeutic relationship, and this content is for educational purposes only. If you are in crisis, please contact the National Su***de Prevention Hotline 1-800-273-8255 or 988.

10/31/2022

Sometimes masks aren’t just for Halloween…
 
Some “Everyday” Masks we might recognize:
▫️The Sarcastic Mask – Makes fun because may fear vulnerability
▫️The Deceptively Happy Mask – Smiles because may fear rejection
▫️The Incognito Mask – Doesn’t speak up because may fear being known
▫️The Hulk Mask – Gets big because may fear being seen as weak
 
A couple of those masks are SPOOKILY familiar for me… how about for you?
 
Happy Halloween!! 🎃🍂
 
 

03/07/2022

This little guy came home yesterday!! Super grateful to Woof2Hoof Rescue!! We’ve tried on a few different names and Buster is the current front runner. Ginny initially struggled to roll out the welcome mat, but they have since become great buddies! 🐶🐶💓💓

08/01/2021

I love my sisters…

We could fight all the way to the bus stop but the minute we stepped on—we were a unified force.

I love our little team… not always in lockstep but always so very FOR one another.

Watching my own daughters work to form this fierce love for one another is huge for me.

For the love of my own dear sisters and the bond being forged between my daughters… Happy National Sisters Day!!

*artwork by Erin Forrest💓









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04/11/2021

Happy to our lovable rascal Ginny! She makes everyday a little brighter. 🐶💓

04/03/2021

Honored to work with a group of parents at Onsite’s Life After Loss Workshop this past week.

Losing a child is a traumatic grief. Walking a healing journey (as defined by each unique client) includes both—trauma work & grief work. During the program, .cindy did an excellent job of sharing her expertise on the intersection of trauma and grief—how it impacts the body—and how people can move toward holistic healing.

When I talk about trauma with clients, I often use the metaphor that trauma happens when someone/something grabs the steering wheel of our lives and takes us where we do not want to go.

This is why consent is so important when treating trauma. Clients have to have their hands firmly on the steering wheel.

This past week, I got to witness people bravely saying “yes” to their unique healing journeys... and how the group tenderly supported these “yes-es.”

I set out for TN with a broad sense of gratitude for the opportunity to be a part of the workshop—I’m returning to NY with gratitude again... but now my gratitude has skin on it, faces, and stories.

There is a sacredness in the sharing of our stories in safe places. Holy ground is something we can feel in our bodies... that urge to take off our shoes. 💓

******

The Onsite Foundation has been able to offer full scholarships to all the attendees of this year’s Life After Loss Workshop. If you or someone you know might be interested in this type of program you can check out it out here: https://theonsitefoundation.org/programs/life-after-loss/

Thank you for your ongoing work... ; ;

03/25/2021

Leaving NY and heading for TN this morning I’m feeling full—full of gratitude for the vaccine, for my sweet family driving me to the airport after learning that Uber doesn’t come out to Webster at 4:00 AM 🤪, and mostly grateful for Onsite Workshops. Partnering with them as a contract therapist for the past several years I’ve come to deeply respect the way that they approach the healing journey.

Onsite will be hosting the Life After Loss Workshop this coming week--a six-day therapeutic group program for bereaved parents.

The Onsite Foundation has been able to offer full scholarships to all the attendees of this upcoming Life After Loss Workshop. If you or someone you know might be interested in this type of program you can check out it out here: https://theonsitefoundation.org/programs/life-after-loss/

“Each person’s grief is as unique as their fingerprint. But what everyone has in common is that no matter how they grieve, they share the need for their grief to be witnessed. That doesn’t mean needing someone to try to lessen it or reframe it for them. The need is for someone to be fully present to the magnitude of their loss without trying to point out the silver lining.” -David Kessler

; ; ; ; ; ;

10/10/2020

So much of my “comfort wisdom” all in one pic. 🐶☕️🍁🔥(+PJ pants 😆)

06/06/2020

See attached

Courtney Leak, Advisory Council Member, Clinical Social Worker/Therapist, and TedX Speaker, shares a unique perspective on the grief we may be experiencing in the midst of this pandemic. Read the full blog here: https://bit.ly/3cB1k5G Onsite Workshops

06/02/2020

Black Lives Matter.

05/09/2020

Today would have been Ahmaud Arbery’s 26th birthday.
I walk outside almost everyday, but today I walked 2.23 miles in honor and memory of Ahmaud Arbery who was hunted and murdered by white men in GA on Feb. 23rd.
I thought about how the color of my skin doesn’t put me in danger when I exercise... and how this isn’t true for everyone in this country. And mostly, I thought about Ahmaud’s mom and her aching heart.
These men must be held fully accountable. Arrest is a first step of many.
*Sign petition: http://www.runwithmaud.com
*Call: 770-800-0689 where you will hear a recording of activist walking you through what to say when you speak with representatives... you can then be put directly through to them.
“You oppose the inhumanity or you abide it.
You condemn the violence or you are complicit in it.
You declare yourself a fierce and vocal adversary of bigotry—or you become its silent ally.”
-John Pavlovitz

03/19/2020

Even in our isolation, we are acting for one another. 🌸💛🌸💛

03/16/2020

My dad sometimes sends pictures of his view from their living room window in Upstate New York. It’s always grounding to me. Seeing the calm water this morning reminded me of Wendell Berry’s words and my need to get out into the “peace of wild things” today. 🌲🌳💚