Anne B, Graham, therapist

Anne B, Graham, therapist I'm a Licensed Mental Health Counselor and a National Certified Counselor providing individual and couples counseling. Telehealth virtual counseling available.

Specialties include relationship, self esteem, life transition and mood disorders.

01/10/2023

Marginalizing, scapegoating, and more.

11/17/2022

2. Insistence that respect means a lack of criticism.

09/27/2022

... and the first step everyone else can take to keep their love alive.

Emotional intelligence wasn't even a concept when many current parents were being raised, mostly by authoritarian parent...
09/27/2022

Emotional intelligence wasn't even a concept when many current parents were being raised, mostly by authoritarian parents. Do what I say, without question, because I told you so!

2. They don't learn how to talk about, or control, their own emotions.

09/27/2022
09/27/2022

Assume people like you, and keep showing up.

09/27/2022








09/27/2022

Viewing anger as a messenger rather than an adversary can help clients decouple it from shame, unpack its origins, explore related feelings and gain self-awareness.

Loss can be physical  as in a death, but also emotional, as in the loss of a heart relationshipThis is the best explanat...
09/27/2022

Loss can be physical as in a death, but also emotional, as in the loss of a heart relationship
This is the best explanation of grief I have seen.

08/22/2022

Reposting this guide for those who are preparing for the loss of a two legged or four legged friend or loved one...

The Jack McAfghan Pet Loss Series
A Dog's Memoirs on Life and the Afterlife
Available on Amazon https://amzn.to/3c2tnks

08/15/2022

I received a wonderful message this morning... she said she couldn't sleep last night because she was thinking of her brother who had died a few years before. He was heavy on her mind and on her heart, which got her thinking about me recently losing my brother... so she wanted to check in. I didn't realize how much I needed it until I was gifted it.

She said she also wondered how many others were sitting up and having a hard time sleeping with a loved one on their heart ... or just plain struggling ...

This Hospice Heart Community has taught me so much, and has inspired and comforted me in many ways. It has also reminded me just how many people out there are grieving, who feel alone, and who are scared, or uncertain.

If you stayed up last night, thinking about someone you are missing, or you woke up this morning reminded they are gone, or you are feeling unseen or not heard.
You are not alone.
We see you. We hear you. We feel you.
Please know... that so much love is being sent your way.

And if you know of someone who is grieving, whether it was twenty years, two years or last week... reach out to them.
If you know someone who is having a rough time...check in.
Grief never goes away. Struggle is harder when you are doing it alone.
The journey is long, the emotions run deep, and every single day is tough.
Check in!
Let's all spread some loving kindness today...

xo
Gabby

We are the light. We are the answer. Share your light. Lift others. Be authentic. Be kind.
07/27/2022

We are the light. We are the answer. Share your light. Lift others. Be authentic. Be kind.

You ARE enough.
07/20/2022

You ARE enough.

I woke up this morning with a smile on my face.
Not because my life is perfect or that I have everything under control..
Not even close.
I’m a perfectly imperfect person, wonderfully flawed and chaotically beautiful in the most unique ways.
When I started appreciating the parts of me that were awkward, messy and weird, I began to see the beauty of who I truly was.
I stopped thinking I wasn’t doing enough, trying hard enough or being enough.
I was more than all of that.
I was being the best version of myself and I know now that’s all I can expect from myself.
I may stumble out of the house with disastrous hair, dropping things as I go, but that’s just how I roll.
I’ll never be perfect and I’m really, really good with that.
I don’t want to be.
I want to experience all the amazing moments of my life just as I am- I’ve worked hard to get where I am and now I deserve to celebrate how far I’ve come…
Not beat myself up because I’m not where I thought I would be.
I have time- there are always more tomorrows in which I can keep moving forward, working hard and chasing my dreams.
My goals don’t have an expiration, so I don’t care where I’m not and what I haven’t done yet, but how I enjoy and learn from the journey.
I know some people may look at my messy everything and shake their head..they just don’t get me.
The thing is, the people that love me do understand and appreciate me- and that’s all I could ever want or ask for.
So, forgive me if I don’t get caught up in what the world thinks of me, because I have more important things to do..like living a full life.
Like being a strong warrior,
Like having a loving heart of gold,
Like having deep talks, beautiful moments and finding the joy in the little things all around me.
Whether it’s a beautiful sunrise, a memorable song playing or the feel of a warm breeze in my hair..
I’m all in when it comes to making the most of my life, my moments and my journey.
Maybe I’ll always be a bit of a mess and even sometimes not have a clue where I’m going,
But I’ll always do it my way.
My life won’t ever be built on perfection or being flawless,
But on just choosing to be happy,
Each and every day.
I don’t know about you,
But there’s not much more I could ask for than that.
Because I’ll always be me..and I’ll always be enough.
|ravenwolf

Here is my complete set of work, available all together:
https://houseofravenwolf.com/collections/frontpage/products/ravenwolfs-complete-works-signed-unsigned-versions-available

You are loved...
07/20/2022

You are loved...

My granddaughter said to me, "Nana, do you want me to show you how to make a miniature envelope out of a post-it note." Of course, I said "YES!!"

So, she proceeded to carefully fold the paper, with the sole intention of making an envelope... each crease tightly pressed, each fold perfectly in place. When it looked like she was done, I asked to see it, but she told me it was not ready yet and that I had to wait. So, I waited.

When she gave it to me, I smiled because it was so darn cute. But then she told me to open it. She had also made me a tiny little note that said, “I love you.” And my day was made.

The last few weeks have been tough for me, I feel like I am dealing with a lot. My grief from losing my brother weighs heavy too, never really leaving. The tall stack of pancakes I was reminded of when he died, seems heavy too, as I realize I did not adequately address my losses prior to this one. I have some personal stuff I am working through, health stuff, life stuff… you know… we all have this, so I know you can feel me.

Today I looked at my tiny little envelop with the tiny little reminder that I am loved… and I smiled because that is enough for me. This must mean it would be enough for anyone… so my message for you today, is to remind someone that they are loved. It won’t make the icky stuff go away, it won’t make their grief or other struggles less, but it will remind them that they are not alone… and we all need that.

And if YOU need to be reminded... this little note, tucked in its tiny little envelope is for you too.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE (even on the days it might feel like it)

Xo
Gabby

For some clarity on the stack of pancakes, you can read it here on my blog:
https://www.thehospiceheart.net/post/pancake-grief

We all need a reminder of this. Here's yours.
07/20/2022

We all need a reminder of this. Here's yours.

I was going through some old photos today and came across this one. I titled it, "the struggle is real." On the day this photo was taken, it was about my tenth day walking The Camino in Spain. Alone. And on that particular day I had just walked 22 miles.

That day was hard, but I did it, and I was really proud of myself.

I walked all those miles with complete strangers, people from all over the world, each of us there for different reasons, each of us finding a strength we never knew we had. One of those strangers took this photo when I was catching my breath and taking in what I had done that day, as well as the days before, which at that point totaled 112 miles. On foot. Alone.

When I looked at the photo again today, I was reminded of my strength, my courage and bravery, my resilience, and my ability to keep moving forward and through the most difficult of times.

If you stopped for a moment and thought about all the “miles” you have endured, you might be reminded of how truly strong you are. I need to be reminded all the time. The struggle is real… for all of us… just different.

Whatever it is you are trying to make it through… you can do this! And you are not alone.
I needed to remind myself… so I wanted to remind you too.

Xox
Gabby

07/16/2022
It's so important we teach our children how to handle anger and conflict. Of course we have to learn ourselves!
07/04/2022

It's so important we teach our children how to handle anger and conflict. Of course we have to learn ourselves!

"This was my hallway last Wednesday.

Broken. Sharp. Treacherous.

This was my hallway.

It was my son who did this.

Sometimes, often really, things break - irreparably. And it takes your breath away ... straight away.

It took my breath away when my son stormed into the bathroom, frustrated, angry, fed-up for his very own, very significant to him, reasons. And when he chose to SLAM the bathroom door, causing the heavy mirror mounted to the front to slip out of the hardware holding it in place and crash onto the floor - a million, BROKEN pieces were left reflecting the afternoon light.

I was quiet. I surveyed the damage and took a deep breath. Put the dog outside so he wouldn't cut his feet, put the cat in the basement for the same reason.

I walked into the backyard and felt the hot tears streaming down my face. It's amazing how alone you can feel as a single parent in moments like these. I realized how scared and disappointed I felt. Did this really just happen? Yes. This was real.

And as I stood and considered whether or not this was an indication of his developing character, I heard his tears through the window above me, coming from inside the bathroom.

His soul hurt. This was not what he expected either. Hello, Anger - I don't remember inviting you into my house.

Scary.

Terrified.

Ashamed.

Worried.

Scared.

Deep breath, . Deep breath. That small, fragile soul needs you right now. He needs your very best. Your biggest compassion. Your most gentle and firm mama love and reassurance. More deep breaths. Go Mama.

Go. Go now. Go open the front door, tiptoe through the broken glass, hear him hearing you coming, watch the bathroom door crack open, see the face you love most in the world red with worry and wet with tears, his voice is suddenly so small: "Mama, I'll never do it again, I am SO sorry." More tears. More weeping. Such uncertainty on his sweet face.

Go Mama. Get him. Go now. Scoop him into your lap. Yup, you're crying too. Damn this was big. Hold him tight. Watch how he curls into a ball in your arms so quickly. See how eager he is to be loved by you. To be reassured by you. See how small he still is. See how fragile that spirit is.

I love you.

You are safe.

I am right here.

The worst part is over now.

I've got you.

I'm here.

I love you.

Go Mama. Tell him about Anger. Tell him now. Anger is a really powerful feeling. You have a right to your Anger. Anger burns hot. It can purify. It can also destroy. He nods. He feels it. He's met Anger now.

There's a better way to show your big feelings.

We'll work on it together .... tomorrow.

I'm here to help you.

You are safe.

You are never alone in your anger.

You are never alone in your fears.

I'm here. We're here together.

Now we will clean together.

And we cleaned up the broken pieces. We swept and we vacuumed. It was quiet work. It was careful work. It was thoughtful work.

Sometimes things break. Sometimes we break them. It's not the breaking that matters, the how or why. What matters is how we choose to respond to the broken-ness. Does it kill us? Does it throw us into a downward spiral of blame and punishment?

OR

Does it help us remember how to love deepest? Does it push us towards compassion and over the hurdle of "rightness" and "wrongness" into LOVENESS?

Yes. LOVENESS.

Go Mama. Go now. Get that baby of yours. Teach that. Show that. Live that. It's called LOVENESS. Go. Now."

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Submitted by Kathleen Fleming & Majestic Unicorn

Are you feeling faded and worn away?
05/10/2022

Are you feeling faded and worn away?

~To The Woman Who Is Slowly Fading Away

To the woman who has lost her spark.
To the woman whose get up and go, has well and truly gone.

This is for you.

This is to remind you, that you don’t have to be everything to everyone, every day.

You didn’t sign up for that.

Remember when you used to laugh? Sing?
Throw caution to the wind?

Remember when you used to forgive yourself more quickly for not always being perfect.

You can get that back again.

You really can.

And that doesn’t have to mean letting people down or walking away.

It just means being kinder to you, feeling brave enough to say no sometimes.

Being brave enough to stop sometimes.

And rest.

It starts the moment you realise that you’re not quite who you used to be.
Some of that is good, some of that is not.

There are parts of you that need to be brought back.

And if anyone in your life is not okay with that…
they are not your people.

Your people will be glad to see that spark starting to light up again.

So, if you have been slowly fading away my friend,
this is the time to start saying yes to things that bring you joy
and no
to things that don’t.

It’s really pretty simple.~

~Donna Ashworth

art | John William Waterhouse

One estranged mother's story.
05/09/2022

One estranged mother's story.

"I sat on the bench by the back door as she rolled her suitcase past me. I silently screamed, 'Please stay; we can work this out,' but her expression was determined, her eyes fixed and resolute."

Do you hold one or more of these beliefs yourself?
04/04/2022

Do you hold one or more of these beliefs yourself?

These false notions may have a profound effect on how you feel about yourself.

04/04/2022

For mother's everywhere.

03/12/2022

Take Responsibility for Your Own Life…

How you talk to yourself can shape your outcomes.
03/09/2022

How you talk to yourself can shape your outcomes.

Emotionally abusing yourself may be a knee-jerk reaction. See 4 types, plus alternatives.

We have all been here.
02/16/2022

We have all been here.

It’s hard to help the obviously upset adolescent who turns down a warm invitation to talk. Here’s what may be going on.

02/10/2022
02/03/2022

❤️❤️
(Pinterest)

Address

2000 Winton Road S, Bldg. 4, Ste. 303
Brighton, NY
14618

Opening Hours

Monday 10am - 5pm
Tuesday 10am - 6pm
Wednesday 10am - 6pm
Thursday 10am - 6pm
Friday 10am - 6pm
Saturday 10am - 1pm

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