Obert Associates

05/16/2024

Too often, we think disharmony spells the end of a relationship.

But love takes work.

I always say intimacy isn't something you have, it's something you do.

And there will be times when your partner triggers you. That's where repair comes in. That's where you utilize the relational skills I teach in my books and courses. Repair is the road back to connection.

To learn how to move into repair with your partner, I recommend reading my latest book "Us: Getting Past You and Me to Build a More Loving Relationship" [link in my bio for more info]

11/12/2023

12/09/2022

He expected her to adjust to his “correct” way of thinking, feeling, and behaving.

10/27/2022

Good people can ruin marriage, too.

10/06/2022

Winifred Reilly sees couples giving these issues too much air time ... and thinks we'd all be happier if we'd quit letting them dictate our behavior.

10/01/2022

Bryan Reeves wants to do you a favor and shatter your illusions about love.

05/06/2022

The honeymoon period of any relationship can blur your judgment. These 'green flags' will help recognize a loving partner.

04/16/2022

Genius kids are caught in the Goldilocks oatmeal paradox – if there's too much heat on extracting their ability they suffer, but keep too cool a distance and they'll b...

03/04/2022

Luckily, for every Horseman of the Apocalypse, there is an antidote, and you can learn how and when to use them below.

01/14/2022

The small, everyday moments between you and your partner can have a big impact on your relationship over time.

When you turn toward your partner’s bids for connection, you are making a deposit in your Emotional Bank Account. And when you turn away from your partner, you make a withdrawal. Just like a real bank account, a zero balance is trouble, and a negative balance is the real danger zone.

Finding everyday ways to fill your emotional bank account can help ensure that inevitable hurdles (disagreements, conflict, etc.) don’t cause your relationship to dip into the red. You will be able to weather the difficult times better when you have "savings" of goodwill to draw from.

Learn how to invest in your romance on the Gottman Relationship Blog: https://bit.ly/3HZXDqo

12/28/2021

How do you practice assertive communication in your relationship?

Being assertive (instead of being aggressive or submissive) starts with self-awareness and direct communication. By expressing your needs clearly and avoiding criticism, you can start problem-solving while showing respect for yourself and your loved one.

It might take some time and effort to get in the habit, but this can lead to an incredibly satisfying pay-off: less stress and more fun; the growth of trust and romance; a more satisfying and fulfilling relationship.

We want to thank you for being part of The Gottman Institute community. Use code THANKYOU for up to 20% off sitewide, now until December 31st: https://bit.ly/3H2O1Lc