Gardens of Grace

01/28/2025

Hello! I am a Certified End-of-Life Doula and Gerontologist serving the Tri-Cities and beyond. While my education and experience give me an in-depth understanding of the physical, mental, emotional, and social aspects of aging, I know that you are your greatest resource. You know yourself better than anyone; I'm just here to support you with dignity, respect, and compassion for the life you have lived.
So, what is an End-of-Life Doula? The best way to explain it is to compare it to birth doulas. As birth doulas aid in the transition into life, death doulas aid in the transition out of life.
Please reach out if you have any questions!

01/17/2025

As a Doula, I strive to create spaces where clients feel comfortable, supported, and safe to relax for the time they have left. For this reason, Gardens of Grace partners with local therapeutic musicians to bring the benefits of music to you! From gentle harp melodies to flute, violin, dulcimer, guitar, and even the power of voice, professional musicians bring their talent and meet you where you are to soothe and assist with life's transitions. Please message me to learn more!

01/08/2025

As a society, we've become so disconnected from our grief and our mortality. The root of suffering is believing that it is ours alone. But the gift of suffering is understanding that it is not - it is shared, if we are willing to share it. And in sharing our suffering, our fear of mortality, and our grief, we heal one another's heart. The truest form of love is grief, enduring.
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This season is wrought with pain, death and loss. Yet, underneath, earth is transforming, and so are we. As a doula, I listen to woes and I assist in transmuting pain into joy; life into death; memories into tangible stories. What's your legacy? Let's do the work together. 🖤

11/22/2024

Have you heard of The Five Daily Recollections? They are a Buddhist practice, and meditating on them often is encouraged. This practice enables us to shed our cultural obsession with youth in favor of accepting that we are mortal beings, thus reducing depression, existential dread, and anxiety, and allowing us to feel every bit of joy alongside every bit of pain.
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I will share The Five Daily Reflections over the next week, including:
• Writing/journal prompts
• Opportunities to share how each recollection resonates with you
• Encouragement through sharing my own thoughts on each recollection, if you are not yet ready to reflect on your own ideas around the recollections

11/22/2024

To think about death is not morbid - it is actually the key to living a more content, full life free of fear which holds us back and obscures our daily intentions.

Citizens of one of the happiest countries on Earth are surprisingly comfortable contemplating a topic many prefer to avoid. Is that the key to joy?

11/15/2024

Over the past few weeks, several friends have reached out about end-of-life care. Most told me their loved one has declined hospice care. In answering their questions and providing information, I realized that many people have preconceived ideas about Hospice that may be incorrect. As part of the Death Positive movement, my work is to dispel the stigma around accepting Hospice care.
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Have you ever wondered...
• How is an End-of-Life Doula different from Hospice?
• Is there someone to contact before Hospice?
• What is Palliative Care?
• What is the role of an End-of-Life Doula?
• Does Medicaid and/or Medicare pay for Hospice and Palliative care?
• What happens when I contact Hospice?
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What other questions do you have about EOL care?

10/30/2024

What a privilege to learn from these wise, insightful young people! TechGYRLS are incredible!!

“When we were in our YWCA Week Without Violence classes, we learned about Healthy Boundaries, and it helped us learn about setting boundaries with each other. TechGYRLS really appreciates getting to create those healthy boundaries so that we can enforce those boundaries and try not to do the things that pass other’s boundaries like touching their stuff and their bodies. The reason we need boundaries is so we can keep us safe and keep our friends safe and stay friends. For example, if you’re touching their stuff or touching their body and they tell you to stop more than once you’re crossing their boundaries, and it could lead the friendship to end. We always need to ask before we go hug our friends and family members because they might not want to be touched. We want to make sure we know our friends’ personal boundaries and mental boundaries, so we know not to cross them. Another way to be a healthy friend or healthy person is always ask permission if its not your stuff or your body. If someone is crossing your boundaries or you don’t feel safe, ask the person to stop crossing your boundaries. If they continue, go to the closest trusted adult for your own safety physically and mentally.
Thank you, Mrs. Frances, Gardens of Grace for coming to teach us during the Week Without Violence. We all really enjoyed it and it was fun learning new information that can help us in life.”
-Billie, 11

10/26/2024

On: Sustainable burial
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In my work as a doula, I always strive to cater to the needs of all. I believe that end of life care should be custom-tailored and person-centered. I will work with all people and advocate for their last wishes at the end of life. And while I will always respect the wishes of individuals who desire to be embalmed and buried traditionally and coordinate with all funeral providers, I do take a holistic approach to care, and that means taking the sustainability of our planet seriously. This post informs and educates about how unsustainable and earth-threatening the traditional funeral industry can be, but is not intended to dissuade anyone from their personal choice to use chemicals, steel caskets, and burial vaults in death.
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I would love to work with mycelium to create coffins like this. The funeral and burial industries are extremely unsustainable and, in my personal opinion, an affront to nature and our Mother. Traditionally, we embalm our loved ones, thus filling them with chemicals before placing them inside steel or plastic coffins before surrounding the coffin with a burial vault made of steel or concrete (to prevent the soil from sinking in). While not all cemeteries require burial vaults, the majority of cemeteries in the U.S. do. Since 1913, burial vaults are the norm. That means between 250-3000 pounds (PER person) of wood, plastic, metal, or a combination of those materials are just sitting in the soil, protected from decomposition and extending the decomposition process for DECADES, not to mention that the carbon we are made of will never go back to the earth if we choose this unsustainable method of burial.
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Just because this has been normal for over a hundred years doesn't mean it needs to be normal for us in 2024 while we watch our planet die. While there are many reasons the fhneral industry proceeded this way (disease, keeping bodies fresh after the Civil War so loved ones could hold a funeral at home, and, unfortunately, because its a $$$ maker), those reasons are no longer relevant. We can't afford to bury our loved ones this way any longer - neither our pocketbooks or our planet can handle it.
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I am part of the Death Positive movement. Ask me about end of life options that are sustainable for our planet!
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Would you be interested in a live Q&A on this topic?
What questions do you have about end of life pertaining to the burial process?

The Mushroom Coffin is a new innovation that uses a mixture of fungus as a means to decompose human remains, giving people another option besides cremation.

10/21/2024

I am very excited to be partnering with YWCA to help TechGYRLS understand how personal boundaries affect every part of their lives!
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"Love yourself enough to set boundaries. Your time and energy are precious. You get to choose how you use it.” –Anna Taylor.

October is and tomorrow kicks off the annual . Our YWCA NETN and SWVA Techgyrls have a full week ahead learning about crucial topics thanks to our gracious community partners! *Please note: All events are private, TechGYRLS only events.*

• Monday: Personal Boundaries - Frances Bale Gardens of Grace
➡Frances Bale is a mental health professional, gerontologist, and end-of-life doula working in SW VA & NE TN to improve individual, family, and community wellbeing. For the Week Without Violence, she has offered her expertise in Personal Boundaries to educate TechGYRLS about the importance of protecting and honoring their values through identity exploration, boundary setting, and building self-respect. This 45-minute Personal Boundaries training utilizes a PowerPoint presentation, including the opportunity for TechGYRLS to learn practical skills and implement healthy boundaries in their lives.

• Tuesday: Red Sand Project | Human Trafficking - Sullivan County Regional Health Department
➡The Sullivan County Regional Health Department seeks to bring awareness and educate the community on a mostly hidden crime - human trafficking. This is the second-fastest growing criminal industry, just behind drug trafficking, and it is comprised of both s*x trafficking and labor trafficking. The Red Sand Project is an interactive art exhibition created to bring awareness to all those who have suffered at the hand of this exploitation and those who have fallen through the cracks. The Red Sand Project is implemented in part by SCRHD's SPARK program, encompassing positive youth development, and the RPE program, encompassing s*xual violence prevention.

• Wednesday: Child Safety Matters Program – Children's Advocacy Center of Sullivan County
➡Children’s Advocacy Center wants to ensure child safety across all of Sullivan County. As part of the Prevent 360 initiative, the CAC provides adult trainings on child abuse prevention through Darkness to Light, and student personal safety programs from the Monique Burr Foundation that have complimentary skills and a common language for children and adults to better communicate. MBF Child Safety Matters® is a comprehensive, evidence-based curriculum for students. The program educates and empowers children and all relevant adults with information and strategies to prevent, recognize, and respond appropriately to all types of abuse and dangers. Child Safety Matters uses engaging and interactive PowerPoints which include group discussions, skills-practice activities, games, and videos.

• Thursday: AI and Online Safety: Protecting TechGYRLS in the Digital Age - ETSU College of Nursing HELP SARA
➡The Health Education Learning Program for Sexual Assault in Rural Appalachia is proud to present an informative session for the YWCA TechGYRLS. This session will focus on the growing role of artificial intelligence (AI) in online spaces and its impact on safety, particularly in relation to s*xual exploitation, violence, and threats that youth in today’s world face more than ever. Participants will learn how AI technologies can both help and harm when it comes to online privacy and safety. We’ll explore the risks of AI-facilitated exploitation, how to identify online threats, and best practices for safeguarding personal information. The session will also cover practical strategies for staying safe online, using AI tools responsibly, and empowering young women to recognize and report harmful behaviors. TechGYRLS can expect engaging discussion on navigating the digital world safely and proactively.

• Friday: R.A.D. R**e Aggression Defense Systems: Self-Defense 101 - YWCA Northeast Tennessee and Southwest Virginia
➡YWCA Northeast Tennessee and Southwest Virginia is dedicated to eliminating racism, empowering women, and promoting peace, justice, freedom, and dignity for all. One way in striving toward this mission is the YWCA hosts R.A.D. R**e Aggression Defense Systems instructors so they can provide educational opportunities, available to women, in hopes they may create a safer future for us all. In doing this, we openly challenge society to evolve into an existence where violence is not an accepted part of daily life. During Self-Defense 101, children will be empowered during this introductory session and learn how to feel confident and be safe in our community.