Little Wildflower Play Therapy, LLC

05/29/2026

05/29/2026

05/14/2026

One of the most challenging moments in the playroom is when a child escalates—whether their energy intensifies, their behavior gets bigger, or the play itself becomes more aggressive.

And let’s be honest—it can feel scary.

💭 What if someone gets hurt?
💭 What if I lose control of the session?
💭 What do I do to make this stop?

The natural instinct for many play therapists is to shut it down—to try to calm the child, set firm boundaries, or regain control (....by the way, the same is true for many parents and caregivers out there).

But what if we reframed what’s really happening?

Escalation = A Loss of Connection to Self

When a child escalates, they aren’t just “acting out.”

✨ They are losing connection with themselves. ✨

As they disconnect, their behavior gets bigger and more dysregulated. They are no longer able to self-govern, self-modulate, or contain their intensity.

And in that moment, they are searching for containment.

But not just any containment—felt containment.

The Role of the Therapist—How We Show Up Matters

Here’s the tricky part: If we aren’t connected to ourselves during the escalation, the child will feel that.

If they can’t sense the therapist’s steadiness, they will continue to escalate—searching for an anchor.

And here’s an important distinction: This isn’t about being “calm.”

You can feel overwhelmed. You can feel activated. You can even feel a bit shaken. But you must still be connected to yourself.

That’s what the child will orient toward. That’s what will help them begin to find themselves again.

The Power of Congruence

Another factor that can drive escalation? Incongruence.

When something in the environment doesn’t make sense—when things feel “off” or unsafe—a child may escalate as a way to force alignment.

This could be:
🔹 The therapist acting “calm” when they are actually overwhelmed.
🔹 A feeling that isn’t being acknowledged in the space.
🔹 A lack of clarity—maybe the child doesn’t know what’s happening next.

Children will often amplify their intensity as a way to restore congruence—whether that means forcing the therapist to show up authentically or trying to get an unspoken reality named.

So What Do We Do?

When a child escalates, the goal isn’t to make it stop—it’s to reconnect.

✔️ First, check in with yourself. Am I connected to myself? Am I being congruent?
✔️ Acknowledge what’s happening. “Wow, this is getting really big.”
✔️ Redirect instead of shutting down. Instead of “No, stop!” try, “I see how big this is. Show me another way.”

✨ Containment through connection—not control—is the goal. ✨

When Boundaries Are Needed

Of course, this doesn’t mean boundaries aren’t important. They are.

But there’s a difference between:
🚫 A hard shutdown (“No! Stop! You can’t!”)
✅ A boundary that maintains connection (“I see how big this is, and I won’t let anyone get hurt. Show me another way.”)

One approach isolates and overpowers the child.
The other acknowledges and redirects while still holding space for their experience.

The Bigger Picture

When a child escalates, they aren’t trying to challenge you.
They aren’t trying to “manipulate” or “test limits.”

They are…
🔹 Disconnected from themselves.
🔹 Trying to find safety through connection.
🔹 Reacting to something that feels incongruent in the space.

So next time you feel that urge to shut it down, take a breath and ask:
💡 How can I reconnect to myself right now?
💡 How can I offer connection instead of control?
💡 What needs to be acknowledged in this space?

Because when a child escalates, what they truly need is an anchor back to themselves.

Much love on the journey, 💜

Lisa

05/07/2026

“It’s just play.”

Except in play, a child might be:
• practicing problem-solving
• expressing feelings they don’t have words for yet
• rebuilding a sense of safety
• learning boundaries and connection
• processing big experiences in small, manageable ways

Play is their language and is set at their own pace in play therapy.

And when we slow down enough to understand it, we learn what they’ve been trying to tell us all along. 💛

05/06/2026

04/29/2026

A Clue To Know If You’re Truly Present ✨ We talk a lot about being present with our clients, our children, the people in our lives.

But what does presence actually look like?

Because sometimes we think we’re present… when we’ve actually moved into rescuing.

We may be sitting with someone while they share a challenging emotion or situation. We listen, nod, stay close, and from the outside it can look like we’re doing all the right things.

But presence isn’t just about being there.

It’s about being with.

Being with their emotions.
Being with their experience.
Being with their uncertainty.
Being with whatever is unfolding—without needing to fix it.

And here’s a simple clue to notice when rescuing may be happening:

✨ Do I want something to be different right now?

When someone is struggling, it’s so natural for something inside of us to want to make it better.

To soothe it.
To solve it.
To move them out of discomfort.

But pause for a moment and gently ask yourself:

Am I trying to change this moment?
Am I trying to rescue them from what they’re feeling?
Am I trying to rescue myself from what I’m feeling as I sit here with them?

Because often, the urge to rescue is the very moment we step out of presence.

Presence doesn’t mean discomfort disappears.

It doesn’t mean the thoughts of I should do something go away.

It simply means… we don’t act on them.

You can stay.
You can breathe.
You can allow.
You can remain connected to yourself.

✨ You can be with.

This is the quiet work of presence.

Not fixing.
Not rescuing.
Not rushing the process.

Just being alongside someone in their experience—without needing it to be different.

And yes, this can be hard.

Especially when what’s arising in front of you (or inside of you) feels uncomfortable.

But this is often where the deepest healing and connection happen.

So the next time you’re sitting with someone in a hard moment, gently check in:

Am I being with… or am I rescuing?

Then take a breath.

Feel your feet on the ground.
Notice your body.
Soften back into presence.

You don’t always have to do something.

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do… is stay.

Much love on the journey,

Lisa 💜

04/28/2026

Tool Tuesday: Game Edition

Ever wonder why play looks like “just games” in therapy? 🎲

Behind every move is meaning—building frustration tolerance, practicing turn taking, and helping kids express what words can’t. Play isn’t random… it’s how healing begins and continues. 💛

04/27/2026

In the playroom, children act it out—adults talk it through.

Here’s what aggression looks like depends on who’s holding the story—child vs. adult.

04/23/2026

What does safety look like in a child’s world?
In play therapy, it might be locked doors, protective figures, hidden spaces, or carefully controlled scenes.
Every choice tells a story.
Swipe to explore the many ways children build and seek safety through play.

04/22/2026

Fresh air, little hands, and meaningful moments 🌿🌍

Outdoor play isn’t just about fun—it’s a simple way to nurture our kids’ mental health while teaching them to care for the world around them. From planting flowers to mindful walks, these small activities can make a lasting impact.✨🧠

This Earth Day, step outside, slow down, and grow something beautiful—inside and out 🌱

04/16/2026

Aggressive play can look scary—but it’s often a child’s way of making sense of big feelings they don’t yet have words for.

Instead of shutting it down, we can get curious, stay present, and set safe limits. When we respond with calm guidance, kids learn that all feelings are okay—even the intense ones—and that there are safe ways to express them.

Swipe through for what aggressive play might mean and how to support your child with confidence and clarity. 🧠💛