Dr. William Ryan

01/26/2026

Hi,

There are a few reasons why conversations can get tense when one of us is driving. First, the driver is splitting her attention between keeping everyone safe on the road and trying to follow what her partner is saying. Divided attention can feel irritating—similar to talking to someone who’s also looking at their phone.

Another factor is that when we’re in the car, we mostly see each other through peripheral vision. Peripheral vision is less precise, so the partial picture we get of our partner can easily be filled in with assumptions or bias.

And finally, as humans we’re wired with a “negativity bias”—a trait that helped our ancestors survive but isn’t very helpful for romantic relationships. When we’re stressed or distracted, we tend to interpret things more negatively than we intend.

Communication is difficult enough under the best circumstances. Partners only make it more so when they argue from separate rooms, while they're driving, over the phone, or worse, over text messages.

01/26/2026

Every partnership faces challenges. Dr. Ryan helps couples shift perspectives, enhance communication and rekindle intimacy, whether you’re staying together or exploring the best path forward. Take the first step toward healing together.

https://drwilliamryan.com/couples/

01/16/2026

Shared purpose, shared vision, let’s speak deliberate about this relationship. Let’s be explicit.

01/13/2026

An important distinction

In PACT, we encourage partners to put their relationship first.

This does not mean that partners should put the other first at the expense of themselves. Putting the relationship first is about ensuring that BOTH of their needs are met equally.

Secure-functioning relationships are interdependent, NOT co-dependent.

Co-dependence focuses all time, energy, and resources on one partner. It is a one-directional relationship with no reciprocity.

Interdependence is a mutually beneficial system in which partners are equals who agree to support and protect each other. It allows both partners to thrive and lean on each other as needed.

01/12/2026

Rebuilding trust after conflict is possible. With over 30 years of experience, Dr. William Ryan specializes in couples counseling for high‑conflict situations, betrayal and infidelity. He offers a compassionate path toward deeper connection. Schedule a free consultation.

https://drwilliamryan.com/

01/09/2026

Bedtime is important for couples

01/05/2026

Personally, I think couples work better when they consist of two team players.

12/30/2025

With The PACT Institute – I'm on a streak! I've been a top fan for 7 months in a row. 🎉

12/30/2025

Hi

There are lots of reasons not to have serious discussions while one of you is driving the car 

Agree to save sensitive conversations for when you can sit face-to-face. You’ll avoid dangerous driving while also having a much better chance of staying emotionally regulated enough to resolve your disagreement.

12/29/2025

Hi

As a couple, staying, Friendly works better

When I say "attraction," I don't mean physical attractiveness. The attraction I'm referring to here is simply the act of making something enticing to your partner. Secure-functioning partners use playfulness, seduction, persuasion, and bargaining to get what they want rather than using fear, threat, guilt, or shame.

12/29/2025

Hi

As a couple, it works best to be team players preparing for a potentially stressful event, like meeting with in-laws. If you’re on a Super Bowl team or a Seal Team or romantic partners , you have each other‘s backs even if you’re angry with each other.  We can count on each other.