Dr. William Ryan

08/15/2025

Interdependence: we are equals. We are in each other‘s care. We have each other‘s backs. We can rely on each other.
Drwilliamryan.com

Many people confuse interdependence with codependence. It’s important that partners understand the difference.

Codependence is one-directional. It may rely on two people, but it is not functionally a “two-person system.” All of the time, energy, and resources are directed towards one partner. The needs of the other partner are not treated with equal importance.

In contrast, interdependence is a mutually beneficial two-person system. Both partners enjoy the ability to rely on one another, while also taking each other as their burden. No one partner’s needs take precedence over the other.

Rather than one partner being the priority, the relationship itself is the priority.

08/13/2025

Each decision we make as a couple should be good for you, good for me, and good for the couple. No decision should be good for me, bad for you. Hopefully, you see how that won’t work for the long haul.

08/08/2025

Attraction is mediated by hormones of stress and reward including dopamine, norepinephrine cortisol and the serotinergic system and has the nucleus accumbens the ventral tegmental area as key mediators.

It’s not so much that your partner changes after courtship, but that you’re not-so-much under the influence of these natural drugs when you’re with them

08/06/2025

A transparency agreement means we tell our partners everything we know that they would want to know, everything they would find relevant and important.
On the other hand, you could keep this information from your partner, knowing they would want to know it. Typically in a relationship things go both ways. Do you want to be in a relationship where your partner keeps things from you that you would want to know? Or do you want to have a better transparency agreement?

Partners may bristle at the idea of complete transparency in a relationship, but there are strong arguments for adopting this agreement.

07/27/2025

🧠 Common Myths About Therapy

Thinking about therapy but not sure what to expect? Let’s clear up a few common myths.

🔹 Myth 1: Therapy is only for people with serious problems.
Truth: You do not have to be in crisis to benefit from therapy. Many people come to explore relationships, manage stress, or build emotional awareness.

🔹 Myth 2: The therapist tells you what to do.
Truth: Therapy is collaborative. You will explore your thoughts, feelings, and patterns with guidance, not prescriptions.

🔹 Myth 3: Therapy is just venting.
Truth: While talking things through can help, therapy also offers tools, insight, and strategies that support real change.

🔹 Myth 4: If therapy works, it works quickly.
Truth: Change takes time. Therapy supports lasting growth, not quick fixes.

Therapy is a place for reflection, growth, and healing. Whatever you are facing, support is available.

Reach out today: https://drwilliamryan.com/contact-2/

07/24/2025

Mental load vs. emotional labor: What’s the difference?

Mental load is the invisible task of keeping everything organized—remembering appointments, managing to-do lists, planning meals, and making sure things get done.

Emotional labor is the work of managing feelings—your own and others’. It includes staying calm during conflict, offering reassurance, and smoothing over tension.

In many relationships, one person silently carries both. Over time, that imbalance can lead to burnout, resentment, or disconnection.

Therapy can help clients name what they are carrying, create healthier boundaries, and work toward more equitable dynamics—at home and beyond.

Reach out today: https://drwilliamryan.com/contact-2/

07/18/2025

📌 How to Know If Your Therapist Is the Right Fit

Starting therapy is a big step. Finding the right therapist can make all the difference.

Here are a few signs your therapist might be a good fit:

✅ You feel safe enough to be honest, even when it’s uncomfortable
✅ You don’t feel judged, dismissed, or rushed
✅ They listen closely and remember what matters to you
✅ You leave sessions with new insight, clarity, or direction
✅ Your therapist welcomes feedback and adjusts the approach if needed

Therapy is not always easy, but it should feel collaborative and respectful. If you feel unseen or stuck in sessions, it is okay to speak up or explore other options. The relationship itself is part of the healing process.

🧠 You deserve support that truly feels supportive.
Reach out today: https://drwilliamryan.com/about-psychologist-in-brooklyn/

07/16/2025

Lots of partnered men and women wish they had s*x more often 

Only about 4 percent think they're having s*x too often.

07/08/2025

Healing doesn’t always come with fireworks. It often looks quiet, slow, and maybe even invisible to others.
It’s getting out of bed on a hard day.
It’s taking a deep breath before reacting.
It’s noticing a critical thought, but choosing not to believe it.
It’s setting one small boundary that used to feel impossible.

Progress isn’t always loud or linear. Sometimes it’s choosing something different; something kinder, just once. And that once matters.

The small moments you often dismiss? They are signs of growth. They are you, healing in real time. 💛

06/29/2025

You can’t logic your way out of a pattern your body learned to survive.

That’s where expert help matters. Someone who understands how the system works and how to gently support change from the inside out.

If you need help, reach out today.

06/23/2025

Hi

Please try this for 2 full minutes. Best to sit facing your partner, so you don’t have to turn your neck. Try it without speaking, and without any other communication. If you can, just let all the feelings bubble up. Hopefully find some pleasure. Maybe some truth. 

Be brave and experiment! First date? Give it a try! Been married 34 years like me? Give it a try! It’s only two minutes and it will definitely provide a learning experience for both of you.

Drwilliamryan.com

One of the simplest ways to connect with your partner is to gaze into each other’s eyes.

Sustained eye contact is extremely stimulating and demands a lot of mental resources. This makes it difficult to plan and predict, which helps you stay in the present moment with your partner.

The next time you make love, keep the lights on. See if you can make sustained eye contact and notice how that changes your experience.

06/13/2025

Build a relationship where you are in each other‘s care, based in fairness and justice. 

It’s key that partners aim for mutually beneficial solutions to their disagreements. Partners are tethered together. If one loses, so does the other.

The best thing they can do in an argument is to ask themselves what their partner wants and ensure that the solutions they offer satisfy their partner.

They may need to get creative and offer solutions that are not directly related to the subject of the disagreement. So long as their offers can be fulfilled in a timely manner, they can get as creative as they like with what they offer as they bargain.